HATING MY-SELF AGAIN!

It happened

NOO!! Mommm.... STOPPP PUT IT DOWN... I swearrrrr I wasn't gonna do anything with it I SWEARR!! She stared at the one cut mark that was on my arm - fresh blood gushing out.. "ZENORE!! Your cutting!! Whyyyy!!! Are u doing this to yourself — why!!! I tried everything, she said rubbing her forhead. You're going to the Ward. Hot steams ran down her face. I was hurting and in the mist of it my hurt splashed on her. She walked out of my room and I still heard her sniffles down the hall. I breathed heavy.. mumbling "what did I do what did I do.. I was scared. I was 18
I ran into the bathroom - shuffling through the draws trying to find the gauze.. Completely ignoring myself from the mirror. I ripped it with my teeth and covered my arm. I finally looked in the mirror and my eyes was bloodshot I haven't gotten any sleep-  "Zenore .. I heard my little sister call out. She knocked on the door with her tiny little fingers. She was only 6.. zapphy was her name. "Hey flower .. I called out to her immediately wiping my face. "Well I heard mommy crying is she okay? I covered my mouth not trying to cry more. "Um zapphy.. mommy well it's happy tears cause I'm gonna be going to camp. I opened the door and kneeled down to her. "Camp! Can I come — she said happily.. "zapph it's for kids my age.. Kay? "Well are you happy? I think I am I told her. Are you gonna make me breakfast in the morning.. she said wiping my face- "um I'm leaving tonight zapph. She stood there with an empty expression, I can tell she was thinking. "Oh! She said and walked away slowly. I immediately went into my room and started packing. My mother Hailey was already in the car waiting. The whole car ride was silent. Zapphy had her pink flower headphones in watching Lotties Doll House. I stared out the window. My heart beating extra fast. When we got there my mother stayed in the car, While I grabbed my bags "have fun at camp !! Nore.. my little screamed- my mother soon then drove off. Not a goodbye not a see you later pure heartless- I hope that u think of me .. I whispered- I was scared and nervous- But this is the start-