Chapter Three

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Trigger Warnings: Child abuse, drug use, homophobia

3

May 2017

Conrad Dublin Hotel / Dublin, Ireland

CJ stood by the entryway of the hotel room, unsure of what to say or do as Axl beamed at her. His red hair was cut short, compared to the long straight hairstyle she had seen him with as a child. He looked casual in a pair of torn blue jeans and a graphic T-shirt, which helped her relax about her own laidback appearance. The room was a large suite and looked to have multiple rooms. She had walked into the living room area. She felt very put on the spot and smiled shyly back. He stood up and moved to hug her. As awkward as she was feeling, she readily accepted the hug, looking for some sense of familiarity in a foreign environment. He smelled lightly of cologne. When he pulled away, he said,

"It's so good to see you CJ, it's been so many years. Come sit, let's talk." He offered her the second armchair, opposite the one he had been sitting in. "Do you want anything? Water, tea, coffee? How was your flight? Any issues?" CJ opened her mouth and closed it again, unsure which question to answer first.

"I'm uh- I'll just take some water, thanks."

"Sparkling, or no?" She had to think for a moment to process what he had said. She didn't think she had ever had sparkling water.

"Regular is fine." He reached into a mini fridge and pulled out a water bottle and handed it to her. Beta had disappeared into another room, leaving them space and time to talk. She remembered the second part of his question and said "The flight was good, no issues. Just a quick layover in JFK." He had taken a seat in the second armchair, sipping on a cup of coffee.

"And your pick up at the airport went well?" He looked at her with genuine concern. Other than her aunt and her aunt's girlfriend, CJ had never had someone act so concerned over her.

"Ya, it went well."

"Good, I'm excited you are here." He took another sip of his coffee. "You may not know this, but your aunt was a great help to me back in the day." CJ smirked at the thought of some of the stories her aunt had told her and said,

"I know a little bit."

"Your aunt has kept me up to date on you and your studies. I know you've been thinking about going back to school." CJ had not expected him to ask about her schooling.

"Ya, I'm just not sure about it. Graduate school is such a commitment and I've been trying to weigh the pros and cons. I've been out of school for a few years now and I feel like I need to decide. I've wanted to work in the mental health field for most of my life and most of those positions require a master's degree." He smiled at her with that familiar bright white smile that she remembered from so many years ago.

"Well, you can spend at least the summer working with us and think about it, make some money, I want this arrangement to be perfect." He put his drink down and laced his fingers together, leaning back thoughtfully. "Ever since your aunt gained custody of you, and even before that time, we spoke frequently about you. Time and different circumstances have kept me from visiting in person, but I feel like I've watched you grow up from afar. Mindy is family to me, which means you are family." He paused for a moment before continuing. "You and I are very alike in our history and the fact that you are wanting to help others means a lot to me." She sat in silence and did not dare interrupt him. "I'm not sure what you know about me or the others." It wasn't until he gave her a questioning look that she realized he wanted her to respond.

"Oh, uh, not much to be honest. I mean I've heard your music growing up with my aunt obviously and I love it." CJ was somewhat more aware than she was letting on, not wanting to seem eager. She was not comfortable enough to tell him that as a child, she had spent her nights lying in a cold van or a roach infested bed listening to Guns N' Roses on a CD player on repeat at a high volume, either to drown out screaming or to try to feel some connection to the aunt she desperately wished she could go live with on the other side of the country.

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"Well, you'll have plenty of time to familiarize yourself," he said with a soft smile. "You have a few days before our first show. It's late now, you'll meet the others tomorrow."

"Will I be spending most of my time with you and Beta?"

"You'll see us often, especially Beta. I don't leave my room much when we are at hotels, it can get chaotic. So, she does most of my errands for me." CJ felt a twinge of confusion. If she was supposed to be an assistant, it seemed that Beta had already filled that role for Axl. He saw her perplexity and said, "You'll be working alongside our bassist, Duff. His assistant had to leave unexpectedly for a family emergency and won't be back anytime soon." CJ could not remember which one Duff was and tried to think back to the old pictures she had seen of the band in her aunt's house. "You'll like him, he's a good guy, not an ass. He has some daughters you'd probably enjoy meeting. Younger than you, but whenever they're here there aren't many other girls or women around."

"Don't forget Melissa and Meegan." Beta called out from the other room, making CJ slightly jump.

"Ya, them too, they'll enjoy having you along." He reached over to an end table and picked up a folder. He opened it and pulled a key card out of it, handing it to her. "This is your room key, we are all on this floor, your room is 803 just down the hall. Your bags should already be in there." He handed her the folder and said, "This week's schedule is in there, up until we leave for the next show in Spain. Duff may have other additional things going on that aren't on there, but this is the overall schedule for everyone."

CJ quickly scanned the paper, feeling the creeping sensation of being overwhelmed. Axl must have seen it in her face and said, "Don't worry, you'll be able to meet him tomorrow and go over everything, but for the rest of the night," he waved his hand in the air, "go relax, order some room service, and get comfortable, sleep-in late tomorrow." She shut the folder and slipped it into her backpack. "Just text me when you're awake and I can arrange for you and Duff to meet." She pulled out her phone and had him add his phone number. When he was done, she stood up and hoisted her backpack up. While she still wasn't completely understanding everything and needed time to process, she could feel the gravity of the situation and the opportunity she was being given. She was almost a little disappointed that she would not be working as Axl's assistant. She had been there for about 30 minutes, and she could already sense his eclecticism and the intensity of his character, as well as his genuine care and concern for her. She never had a father figure in her life, or at least a good one that had stuck around.

"Thank you for everything," she said, with a smile. Beta had opened the door for her, and she turned to leave.

"And CJ," she turned back to him as he called after her. "Don't be afraid to come hang out when you have free time. Like I said, you and your aunt are family to me. I want to get to know you." At that, she grinned, felt tears come to her eyes, and her heart swelled.

"Definitely."

-

Back in her room, CJ sat on the bed, still in somewhat of a daze. She had wiped the tears from her eyes. Her emotions had snuck up on her, as they usually did when somebody other than her aunt showed her a high level of affection or kindness. Even with extensive trauma therapy as a child and teen, it was not something she had been able to shake.

CJ let her backpack slide off her as she looked around. It was a large hotel room, not a multi-room suite like Axl's, but still larger than a typical hotel room, or at least the ones she had been in. She stood up and walked over to the bathroom entryway, switching the light on. There was a beautiful garden-style tub that she suddenly could not get into fast enough. She turned the faucet to the highest heat possible to let it fill up as she stripped, tripping over her own feet as she pulled her shoes and pants off.

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