Walk A Mile [FreenBecky]

Chapter 11

Waking up with restrictions was a phenomenon Freen never thought she'd end up enjoying. She'd read countless descriptions of cuddling and whatnot and always thought it to be rather uncomfortable. How on earth could being crushed and suffocated by another person be remotely enjoyable? She figured it would be sticky and sweaty and gross. She thought it'd be annoying to have someone constantly invading your defined area of space. However, cuddling with Becky was the epitome of everything she'd unknowingly been craving.

All of her limbs were confined. Outstretched legs were trapped between Becky's, intertwined in a way Freen didn't even think was imaginable. One of her arms was beneath Becky's sleeping body, and the other was limply draped over her side. There was a lot of warmth emanating from the younger girl, but Freen didn't mind it much at all. She only had the liberty to move that one arm, but she didn't care about that either. Changing positions at all wasn't really an option, unless she wanted to disturb Becky - which she didn't. It was the most desirable type of hostage.

Eventually, Becky began to stir. Freen had been awake for about fifteen minutes now, just admiring her relaxed features. Ironically, some parts of her we're wishing that she'd befriended Becky sooner. This minor crush was developing at a rapid rate, and Freen wasn't so sure anything would even come of it. Sure, Becky regarded her with the same amount of attention and she's adopted the same habit of being excessively smiley and giggly, but was it as real for Becky as it was for Freen? Besides the external instances, did she have to endure anything else?

Did she experience butterflies or a fluttering heart like Freen did whenever she laughed? Did her cheeks genuinely begin to ache after being with her, simply because she grinned so hard and for so long? Did she think of her when they were separated, although they never really had the chance to miss each other anyway? Did she overthink everything she said and question whether or not it made her sound like an idiot? Did she think of her at all?

Freen really felt like she was setting herself up. This would probably end up like all of her other frivolous crushes; Unrequited and depressing. Her feelings for Becky were seemingly multiplying by the day, especially after last night. And all the while, she had no idea if Becky had any real ones towards her at all. Over time, she began to realize that everything that meant something to her didn't always have value to the other person. If she referenced the brief conversation they had about any type of special feelings, Freen didn't have much to work with because of the ambiguity. Becky addressed it very vaguely, and Freen didn't give her an answer one way or another because she said they should just try to 'enjoy their summer', like an idiot. Had she professed then, she would've known now. But because she was used to her cynical mindset, she chose to believe there was nothing until Becky clearly stated that it was.

The poem by Jorge Luis Borges came to mind as she watched Becky sleepily turn over. "After a while, you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and binding a soul. And you learn that love doesn't become leaning. And company doesn't mean security. And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts. And you begin to accept your defeats. And you learn to build your roads based on today, because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans; And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight."

If she thought about it with that type of mindset, the poem could be applied to this perfectly. Freen's expression slowly turned grave as she over analyzed the wrong disposition. What she'd convinced herself to think wasn't the case at all. By the time green eyes met brown in that sleepy morning haze, she'd psyched herself out of every future move she considered making.

"Good morning," Becky greeted with a smile, sliding over a little to give Freen space. She didn't want to speak directly into Freen's face with morning breath. That wouldn't be very nice.

"Good morning," Freen responded with a halfhearted smile. At this point, her pensive state had daunted her mood significantly. But she was thrilled to watch her wake up anyway. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah," Becky assented, stretching her arms out. "Probably because I slept with you again," she added cheekily.

"Really now?" Freen entertained her comment, but didn't let it resonate with her. She probably meant nothing by it.

"Mhm," Becky nodded, smiling in the way Freen found absolutely adorable. Her habit of suppressing her smile by biting her lip had the tendency to make Freen's core fill with butterflies. It was happening now.

Freen shifted over a little more and propped herself up on her elbow to see her clearly. She nodded and hummed to acknowledge her words, but didn't want to prompt the conversation to go any further in that direction. She averted her eyes over to something else, thus ending their little staring moment. Becky frowned when she looked away, but didn't read too much into it.

The two made small talk for a bit until they decided to get out of bed. Becky easily detected how reserved Freen was coming off. It was painfully obvious compared to her recent behavior. Becky feared she had done something between the span of today and the day before to upset her. The way Freen was acting was just a hair short of the way she used to treat her before everything. It made Becky feel insecure.

The awkwardness continued when the girls retired downstairs. For the first time since the Armstrongs had arrived, Becky was up early enough to eat breakfast with everyone. Well, everyone else but Rawee. She wasn't around at all. There was definitely a giant elephant in the room as they all tried to enjoy a quiet breakfast. Everyone else was willing to sweep things under the rug and act like nothing had happened at all, but Becky was too disturbed to follow that consensus.

"So where is mom?" Becky asked William pointedly, eyeing him from across the table. Freen's eyes widened, and everyone else wore similar expressions. No one was expecting a confrontation.

"She's not here right now," William answered with an uncomfortable laugh.

"Clearly," Becky scoffed, not striving to let him beat around the bush. He obviously had some explaining to do. "But where is she? Where'd she go?"

"I don't know," William's shoulders slumped in defeat. It took a toll on him to admit that much. After how badly things had gone last night, he partially wanted to go into isolation to figure it all out. "She left."

That hit Becky harder than she was initially expecting. She knew the answer and thought she was prepared to hear it, but evidently, she was not. So her mom was actually gone? Something in Becky was praying that this was a temporary solution. Then, in its usual panicky fashion, her mind came up with the great possibility of it not being temporary. Her mom could leave permanently. If that was the case, she hadn't even said goodbye.

She couldn't be here any longer. She suddenly lost her appetite. Becky gave everyone a polite smile before silently pushing away from the table. Right now, she just wanted to be alone. His little contributions didn't help the lingering thought in her mind. The possibility of them getting a divorce was made more prominent by this, and it was absolutely devastating. Freen tried to reassure her last night by saying that that was outrageous and that it wasn't plausible, but suddenly it was. She wasn't even here right now. And neither she nor her father knew where she was.

"Should I go talk to her?" Freen asked to no one in particular, regretfully watching Becky's figure depart.

"You're not the one that needs to be doing the talking," Jason said pointedly, eyeing William over the rim of his cup as he took a sip.