Walk A Mile [FreenBecky]

Chapter 11

Waking up with restrictions was a phenomenon Freen never thought she'd end up enjoying. She'd read countless descriptions of cuddling and whatnot and always thought it to be rather uncomfortable. How on earth could being crushed and suffocated by another person be remotely enjoyable? She figured it would be sticky and sweaty and gross. She thought it'd be annoying to have someone constantly invading your defined area of space. However, cuddling with Becky was the epitome of everything she'd unknowingly been craving.

All of her limbs were confined. Outstretched legs were trapped between Becky's, intertwined in a way Freen didn't even think was imaginable. One of her arms was beneath Becky's sleeping body, and the other was limply draped over her side. There was a lot of warmth emanating from the younger girl, but Freen didn't mind it much at all. She only had the liberty to move that one arm, but she didn't care about that either. Changing positions at all wasn't really an option, unless she wanted to disturb Becky - which she didn't. It was the most desirable type of hostage.

Eventually, Becky began to stir. Freen had been awake for about fifteen minutes now, just admiring her relaxed features. Ironically, some parts of her we're wishing that she'd befriended Becky sooner. This minor crush was developing at a rapid rate, and Freen wasn't so sure anything would even come of it. Sure, Becky regarded her with the same amount of attention and she's adopted the same habit of being excessively smiley and giggly, but was it as real for Becky as it was for Freen? Besides the external instances, did she have to endure anything else?

Did she experience butterflies or a fluttering heart like Freen did whenever she laughed? Did her cheeks genuinely begin to ache after being with her, simply because she grinned so hard and for so long? Did she think of her when they were separated, although they never really had the chance to miss each other anyway? Did she overthink everything she said and question whether or not it made her sound like an idiot? Did she think of her at all?

Freen really felt like she was setting herself up. This would probably end up like all of her other frivolous crushes; Unrequited and depressing. Her feelings for Becky were seemingly multiplying by the day, especially after last night. And all the while, she had no idea if Becky had any real ones towards her at all. Over time, she began to realize that everything that meant something to her didn't always have value to the other person. If she referenced the brief conversation they had about any type of special feelings, Freen didn't have much to work with because of the ambiguity. Becky addressed it very vaguely, and Freen didn't give her an answer one way or another because she said they should just try to 'enjoy their summer', like an idiot. Had she professed then, she would've known now. But because she was used to her cynical mindset, she chose to believe there was nothing until Becky clearly stated that it was.

The poem by Jorge Luis Borges came to mind as she watched Becky sleepily turn over. "After a while, you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and binding a soul. And you learn that love doesn't become leaning. And company doesn't mean security. And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts. And you begin to accept your defeats. And you learn to build your roads based on today, because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans; And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight."

If she thought about it with that type of mindset, the poem could be applied to this perfectly. Freen's expression slowly turned grave as she over analyzed the wrong disposition. What she'd convinced herself to think wasn't the case at all. By the time green eyes met brown in that sleepy morning haze, she'd psyched herself out of every future move she considered making.

"Good morning," Becky greeted with a smile, sliding over a little to give Freen space. She didn't want to speak directly into Freen's face with morning breath. That wouldn't be very nice.