Ephemeral - Alia Dixon

21

My eyes flutter open, the light hurting my eyes. Slowly, my sight starts adjusting to the light while my ears try to sort out the sounds around me. Somebody runs over and I can make out my dad's face above mine. He's shouting something before a bunch of people come inside. Someone holds my hand tightly, almost crushing my bones in the process of it. I narrow my eyes, trying to clear my vision before Allen comes into view too. Allen and my dad. Maybe I'm dying. Am I?
I wince as someone takes the bandage off my arm. Nope, definitely not dead. Still alive somehow and in a hell of a lot pain. 
"It's healing" somebody says in a stunned voice. I look to my right to see Seddiq looking at me with a shocked look.
I groan as another wave of pain hits me. 
"Is she going to be okay?" a female voice asks. I look over and see Enid standing there. 
"I- I- I don't know. I've never seen something like this"
"No one has" Michonne says. 
"Alia?" my dad asks with a concerned voice. I turn my head, looking at him confusedly. "Alia? Alia, can you hear me?"
"Sadly" I joke, hearing a few sighs and breathes of relief while my dad and Allen chuckle sadly.
"You're okay" my brother whispers into my neck as his tears start staining my shoulder.
"Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?" I ask confusedly. Maggie looks at me before she looks at my dad. He sighs.
"The walkers that attacked, they were our own people. All of them got hurt by the Saviors. They all turned because their weapons were laced with walker blood"
My eyes widen. "What?" I breathe out before looking at my arm. My eyes widen even more at the sight of it. The hole is a little red but also pitch black.
I look back at my dad. "Am I going to die?"
He opens his mouth but closes it again. I close my eyes and take a deep breath.
"We don't know but we don't think so. You had a very bad fever but it's almost completely gone now"
"And believe me or not, but that wound looked a lot better than a few hours ago" my brother states, making me chuckle.
The grin fades again though. "How's this possible?"
"Maybe it wasn't laced with walker blood?" Michonne tries but Seddiq shakes his head.
"Probably was. I've never seen something like that and by the way it looks, I'd guess that your cells around that wound are dead"
"Wait, am I going to loose my arm?" I ask him confusedly. 

I should be dead but I'm not.

Great.

He shakes his head unknowingly. "I don't know. I've never seen someone survive something like that"
"How much time has gone by?"
"A few hours. You've been out half a day. Nothin' special happened" Maggie says and I try to get back up but my dad holds me down. 
"You're not goin' anywhere" he states warningly and I groan.
"I'm fine. Really. You need my help" I say and he shakes his head.
"Stay here for a few more hours. Just to be sure" he says. I look at him carefully, contemplating if I should do what he says. 
I sigh defeatedly. "Fine. Alright"
"Promise?" he asks me, clearly not taking any chances.
"Promise" I say with a soft smile as he places a kiss on my forehead. 
I can't imagine the relief he must be feeling right now. That there's hope for me. He almost lost his daughter today and I almost lost them. I could've been dead right now, as far as I know. 

Shit.

...

"Henry's back" my brother says and my eyes widen. Immediately I'm up and out of the door. I watch as Henry hugs Ezekiel tightly. Ezekiel lets the boy back down before pointing over in my direction. I look at him with a smile as the boy walks over to me, hugging me tightly too. 
"How do I deserve that?" I ask him, making him laugh. He looks up at me, looking shocked as he sees my arm.
"What happened?" he asks and I chuckle.
"Got shot. What happened to you?"
"A lot" he says, making me chuckle. 
"Want to talk about it?"
"Not really" he says before pulling me close once again. I put my arms around him and hug him tightly. 
"I'm glad you're okay" I whisper and he smiles.
"I'm glad, too" 
I smile as he takes a step back. My guilt has been eating me the past few hours I've been awake. I would've been the first to search for Henry if I could've. But I couldn't. Carol found him and I'm glad she did. 
Henry and I had talked a few times since he's been here at Hilltop. He's a nice little boy, always curious about everything.
"You wanna sleep inside my trailer tonight?" I ask him and his eyes sparkle with exitement.
"Really?" he asks and I chuckle.
"Really. But you've got to ask Ezekiel first" I state, laughing as the kid runs over to Ezekiel. Ezekiel smiles at me before noding at Henry.
"He said yes!" Henry shouts excitedly. I put a hand onto his shoulder as he reaches me before we walk towards the trailer I live in with Maggie and Enid. My dad and Allen had converted two of them into the space we live in right now. We all have our own bed but the rest of it we share. Mostly even the clothes. Maggie's a bit taller than us but that doesn't really matter. A shirt is a shirt. 
"Who do we have here?" Enid asks with a smile.
I chuckle. "Henry's going to have  a sleepover here tonight. Thought he'd might like something comfortable once in a while"
It's true. That kid has been sleeping inside of a tent the past few days. And after what happened, I believe he'll feel much better in a trailer, feeling safe. 
"Wait, where am I going to sleep?" he asks.
"You can sleep in my bed" I say and he shakes his head.
"But where will you sleep?"
I smile at the cute boy infront of me. "I'll sleep on the couch. It's fine"
"No, I can't let you sleep on the couch"
I chuckle. "Henry, it's fine. You can have my bed. Only night though"
He smiles. "Only one night"
I grin at him before I exit the trailer to get him some fresh clothes from Carol. 

She smiles at me as she hands them over.
"Are you okay?" she asks me and I nod, taking the clothes from her.
"Yeah, still a bit under the weather but it's getting better"
Her smile fades. "Let's hope it stays that way"
"Yeah" I breathe out before wishing her a good night and walking back to my trailer. I hand Henry the clothes over and he gets ready for bed. We laugh together as we tell eachother a few stories from before the world ended. Henry is only 11. A fucking eleven-year old in this world. He seems pretty happy though. Well, not entirely but I'm sad about the way how he talks. He's so mature for his age. 

We both look up as the door opens again. My brother steps in.
He smiles at Henry. "Hey, man. You good?"
Henry nods before my brother looks at me. "Can I talk to you?"
I nod, excusing me to Henry, and walking outside. I close the door to the trailer behind me and my brother immediately starts talking.
"Alia..." he says sadly. "Have you read Carl's letter?"
I look to the ground. 
"No" I say sadly, remembering the letter in the back of my pants. It suddenly feels heavy right now. Like it's pulling me towards the ground.
"I have" my brother says, his voice sad. I look up to catch a tear running down his face. "You should read yours, too"
I nod. "I'm going to"
"Read it now, Alia" he says, making me look at him confusedly. "Read it. It's important. Carl knew you weren't going to read it any time soon. He wants you to read it now, before it's too late"
I nod, swallowing hard. "Okay"
Slowly, my hand reaches to the back of my pants and I pull out the letter. Slowly, I tear the envelope open and shakily take out the the letter, already crying as I spot my name written on it. 

I fold it open.

"Dear Alia

My dear Alia. I remember the day we first met. When my mom told me not to talk to you guys and me and Sophia did it anyway. I miss her. I miss her very much and I'm going to miss you and Allen even more. You've been my family for the past years and I've never been more thankful for the people we've met. 

For Hershel, Beth, T-Dog, Sasha and Tyreese, Bob, even Merle."

I chuckle through my tears.

"I want you to do a favor and remember them for me. Keep remembering the people we've lost. Keep helping the people and be the loving person you've been when I first met you. The girl that was too protective over me.
The girl I've seen as a sister for such a long time.

You are my sister, Alia and I'm glad that I had someone like you.

I want you to do one thing. 

Don't let my dad kill Negan. Don't let anyone. I want this to stop but it won't if you kill Negan. It'll just keep going and someone else will take in Negan's place. 

You're one of the purest souls out there so please, show my dad the way. Show him that there's other ways than Negan's.

Show him your way. 

Love, Carl"

Tears are streaming down my face as I stare at the letter in my hands. A few of my tears have fallen onto it, soaking the page and Carl's words in my salty tears. 
My brother hugs me tightly. "What did he write?"
"That we need to remember. Remember the people we lost and who we are" I say, leaving out the most important thing.
"And who are we?" my brother asks me.
"I have no idea" I say sadly.