ONLY ME || Haikyuu x Male

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Ren was really dreading the bus ride to the Tokyo training camp.

Earlier, he had gotten berated by Coach Ukai for missing the Ouginishi practice match the other day when he hadn't even known about it. Granted, that was maybe sort of his fault for missing the practice where they announced it, but no one had bothered to let him know either. He totally would've shown up if he'd known. But now, there would be this awkward tension between them on the bus ride which he was definitely not looking forward to.

And sadly, his unfortunate luck was only continuing. As he boarded the bus, he immediately noticed that the only seat left was the one beside their new team manager, Yachi, who flinched as soon as he sat down. He should probably be used to the fear by now, but it still stung a little as he noticed her scoot away from him, pressing herself against the wall of the bus. He would've liked to reassure her that he wasn't dangerous, but he couldn't bring himself to speak to her. It probably would've only terrified her further.

He sighed, turning away from her to look out the window on the other side of the bus. He really wished that Tobio or Hinata were there to break the ice. They were first years too, after all. Perhaps one of them would've liked to sit beside her, or at the very least, perhaps one of them would know what to say in this situation.

But alas...

The scenery blurred past them as they traveled, melting into a pot of colors as they sped towards Tokyo. Ren hugged his duffel bag tightly, making sure to keep his gaze locked on the landscape outside the window throughout the whole bus ride. The whole tense, awkward, uncomfortable bus ride.

When they finally arrived in Tokyo, Ren practically bolted out the bus, stumbling over the steps as he did. He didn't fall, but he definitely felt his face burn as he heard playful laughs from both his teammates and the Nekoma players who had come out to greet them.

He started moving away from the crowd, trying to distance himself from such an embarrassing situation, but he was immediately grabbed by Nishinoya, who pushed him forward, along with Yamaguchi and Tsukishima. The libero was practically skipping with excitement, eyes bright and shining, and Ren felt his prior anxiety melting away.

"Look at the view! Isn't it so different from Miyagi! Ren, you grew up here. You must be an expert. What's that?"

"An office building."

"AND THAT?"

"...A house. Noya, not everything in Tokyo is super special. It's just another city." He smiled, ruffling his friend's hair to soften his dismissive words. Noya looked like he wanted to reply, but they were quickly herded by Daichi into the building where all the other teams were already warming up.

As they walked in, Ren surveyed the crowd, giving a small nod to Kenma as they made eye contact. Behind him, Kuroo was explaining the rules to Daichi - warming up and playing and punishments for losing - but he wasn't really listening to those instructions. He felt as though someone was watching him, and sure enough, as he took in the entirety of the Nekoma team, he noticed a rather intimidating person staring at him, as if they were absorbing every inch of his appearance.

It's Oikawa all over again.

Green eyes bore into his own as the Nekoma player looked at him. The boy had sweeping gray hair, the same color as Sugawara's, but unlike the third year, this person seemed much more intense.

Gosh, why're all these volleyball players so scary?

+++++

They lost every game of the day.

Ren wiped the sweat off his brow, his body buzzing from the exertion of the match. He'd managed to maintain perfect concentration the whole time they'd been there, even if they did end up losing all the games they'd played. He'd been relaxed and fluid, and it felt like he could play for weeks straight without losing this focused state of mind.

Spending all that time with Shirabu really turned out to be worth it.

He moved to the sidelines of the court, starting with the lap of diving drills they had to do as punishment. As he smoothly slid across the floor, he caught whispers of conversation between the Ubugawa players that they'd just lost against.

"They're not bad. They're just kind of regular."

"Are these really the players that Nekoma struggled against? Were they exaggerating or something?"

"And what about that number thirteen? The so called 'all-rounder'. I heard that he was crazy good, even though he's a little cuckoo, but he just seemed mediocre."

Ren frowned as he pulled himself up from a diving position, the words stopping him in his tracks. He should be happy that they thought he was normal. That he blended in with his team. That he was average. But for some reason, a sick feeling bubbled up in his stomach, and it made his head spin.

He was glad that they weren't scared of him, wasn't he?

Ren wasn't allowed much time to ponder as the gymnasium doors slammed open, revealing a familiar blonde woman with a fierce expression. Behind her, Tobio and Hinata drew closer, breaching the entrance to the gym with determined expressions, rather dignified for two people who had to be held back for supplementary classes. It was all a little dramatic, but Ren still smiled at the sight.

Here come our heroes.

Daichi hurried to usher the two first-years to stretch and put on their neon jerseys. They were about to play Shizun, after all, and the two of them were supposed to be starters.

And it was only after the game started that Ren realized that their presence meant he was no longer playing.

As the game began, Ren stood along the sidelines, watching Tobio and Hinata shock and shatter Shizun as they deployed their freak quick attack. He felt restless as he observed the game, and he wanted to run, to be the one on court beside his team. He ran his fingers through his hair, his mind ablaze.

Mediocre. They think I'm mediocre, so now I can't play.

He couldn't explain this frustration. For years now, all he'd wanted was to be normal. To not be a walking safety hazard. But now that he'd actually been perceived as average - mediocre - it hurt. It stung. It burned at his throat, like he wanted to throw up this torrent of emotion and he didn't know why.

"Hey, chin up, king." Ren looked over to see Noya smiling at him, hands on his hips as he grinned. "I know that look. You may be a substitute now, but remember, you played the whole day! For every game! Nonstop! You should be proud of yourself. I mean, even someone as amazing as me gets benched for half of every game. So you're still good. Don't you forget that."

Ren sighed, offering a weary smile. "I know, Noya, I know. But it's just weird. This whole situation, it's odd. When I have my psychosis under control, I don't seem to play as well. When I don't, I play better but I end up becoming dangerous. It's like they're mutually exclusive, and I really hate that."

Noya reached an arm up and wrapped it around his shoulder. Considering their height difference, it felt more as though he was being leaned on by the libero, but he didn't try moving away. "You'll find the right balance, I know you will. But just remember that no matter what you do, I think that you're awesome. You're one of the best players I've ever encountered, psychotic or not. And whose opinion could possibly be more important than mine?"

Ren laughed, wrapping his own arm around his friend as a returned gesture. "Nobody's. Absolutely nobody's."