𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐀𝐋𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒. sakusa kiyoomi

𝟒𝟐: you're so annoying

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓   thing you saw when you regained your senses was a white room. you were laid down on a teal bed, the fabric underneath you crunching softly. it was like a hospital, except you weren't in a hospital. you had recovered enough of your perception to make the assumption.

what you didn't perceive, however, was to be met with dark, coal eyes staring at you.

it was sakusa.

"why are you here?" your words were sharp, sharper than intended and you almost expected sakusa to flinch.

but of course, he didn't, his ever so level and stable composure maintaining itself. "coach told me to keep an eye on you."

"that's surprising," you laughed, a bitter sound. "i wouldn't expect you to be the one keeping an eye on me, when it's clear your eyes barely even work." you were referring to sakusa's poor judgement and decision making, which had resulted in you being here, your cheekbones aching from pain.

"funny coming from you," sakusa said, his voice cold and level, "weren't you the one who didn't look up while walking?"

"are you serious right now?" you scoffed, sitting up straight.

sakusa remained composed, his eyes unwavering and indifferent as he spoke. "it's not my fault you don't have any reflexes."

you could almost punch him — and you almost did, right there and then if it weren't for your reasonable conscious trying to persuade you otherwise because of the multitude of consequences. you'd probably get kicked out of the training camp, and you were not about to give up free food just for the satisfaction of punching sakusa.

here he was — sakusa kiyoomi, who fucking hit you in the face with a volleyball, bruising your cheek and almost killing you in the process — taunting you, scoffing at you and blaming you when it was his fault?

"you are unbelievable," you drawled out, your eyebrows furrowed, "do you do this all the time? place the blame instead of apologizing like a normal person?"

"i'm not placing any blame," sakusa said smoothly, but you could hear the faint crack of anger in his voice, "just stating what i saw. you were ignorant, and it's not my fault."

"maybe because i had other priorities," you bit back, your jaw locked, "sorry that staring at you and watching your every move isn't the ultimate goal of my life."

sakusa's jaw clenched, the evident anger in him rising as he scoffed. "it shouldn't be the ultimate goal but it could've been one of them."

the look in his eyes — and yours similarly, you guessed — made it blatant that the conversation had suddenly shifted. now, it wasn't about what happened in the gym, instead rooting into something deeper. something you decided to bury down, far and deep away from your conscious, even as it rose up again only to be crushed by harsh words, only to be buried again.

and it seemed like sakusa had buried that part too, his faintly warm voice and teasing jibes diminished, replaced with this stranger and his cold, cruel words.

you felt that part of you rising again, surfacing up through the cracks of the steely walls you built up. it came across as if sakusa was too, when his jaw locked tightly, eyes trying to hide his perturbance, voice stony.

it still affected him.

your mind wanted to tell him, scream at him that it was important, that he was important to you, how it killed you when you two stopped talking. but your mind betrayed your voice as you spoke, ruthless words harsh to sakusa's ears. "how could it have been one of them when it wasn't important to me?"

sakusa's eyes deceived his calm composure, as the evident hurt flashed across them. "i see," sakusa said, his voice quiet but you could hear him perfectly clear as he stood up, brushing at his legs. just as quickly as the emotion in his eyes came, it left, his face molding itself back into its mask of indifference. "if it isn't important, then i guess this isn't either."

even without any gestures, you knew "this" meant you and sakusa. it felt painful as your heart tore apart at sakusa's words, that agonizing part of your mind that you so desperately wanted to disappear taking over your consciousness.

your unconscious had apparently impossibly and unknowingly took over as you spoke, your words blurting out. "but— but it could have been important after some time."

the knowing look pooling in sakusa's eyes informed you that he knew what you meant. maybe things could be different after time, maybe what you two had from before could be rekindled after some time — like right now.

he can be important now.

but even that knowing look wasn't even to convince sakusa as smooth words slipped out of his mouth without a waver. "if it wasn't important then," his voice was level, indifferent to any emotion that might clue at what he was feeling, "then it's not important now."

you wanted to stop him, shout at him, scream at him and protest that no, this was important, this was so important that you'd do anything for it. for sakusa.

but you didn't. instead, your eyes were pained, your demeanour cracking. "you're so— mean," you whispered, an unfamiliar cold enveloping your body. you knew it wasn't the right thing to say, you knew it was your own fault that this drift between you and sakusa happened. but you couldn't bear to admit it, you couldn't bear to be vulnerable in front of sakusa's cruel gaze.

"and you're so annoying," sakusa seethed, his voice icy and body rigid. the callous words gnawed at your heart, clawed inside and ripped you to pieces beneath sakusa's wicked stare, coal eyes unwavering and glacial.

and then, he left.

A/N
late update; no, i didn't die, school was js shitting on me <3