Life for me started in a project stairwell my mother was a teenager who partied all the time and no one knew she was pregnant because she had flat a stomach to the whole time she carried me. She was in the middle of doing the electric slide when her water broke. My said she thought she peed her pants until those contractions kicked in. My mom's best friend Lillie told her you need to go the hospital to see why your in so much pain so they left the party to catch the elevator but of course the damn elevator was out of order and that's is typical for the projects the two of them make there way down from the 21st flr but by the time they got to the 10th flr she couldn't take the pain anymore so Lillie said to mother are you sure your not pregnant and my mom said I don't know just help me so Lillie helped my mom take one leg out of her pants to see if my mom was in labor so as my mom tried to sit down on the pissy stairwell I popped right out of my mom snatch Lillie screamed louder than my mom when she saw me pop out but Lillie caught me right before I hit the dirty piss stairwell. Lillie said to my mom while she handing me to my mom I gonna get help I be right back. So first time my mom looked at me she said what am going to do with a baby???? My mom's gonna shit bricks if I take a baby home. Lillie came back with the housing police who called fire rescue on the way to The hospital I wondered what I mom was thinking while she glanced at me what's she thinking I'm going love this baby and give her everything she needs in life or she ready to give me away like I never existed because no know that she gave birth to me but Lillie and her. Well once the hospital notified my grandmother that mom had given birth to me in a dirty stairwell she said are you sure your talking to my daughter isn't pregnant her stomach was flat as a board when she snuck out of my house this evening are you sure you have the right girl my daughter's name is Crystal Mathis and she just turned 15 2 weeks ago. The nurse said yes I'm calling about crystal Mathis please don't be upset because your daughter seems like she had no clue she was pregnant. Then my grandmother spoke some terrifying words to the nurse she said crystal might be in the maternity ward but when I'm finished with her fast ass gonna be in the morgue!!!! The nurse was to nervous to tell my mom what my grandmother said so she keep it to herself. Lillie finally came it to visit my mom after the Drs examine my mom asked was she ok?? My mom said she was fine considering that she just popped out a 7lb 2oz baby see my mom had irregular periods that's why she didn't knew she was pregnant with me. Lillie says to my mom I called tyriq my mom said you called tyriq and what did he say??? Lillie said well he was in belief when I told him that you had given birth in that pissy stairwell so he said he was on is way because I had to lying. Soon as Lillie finished her sentence my father rushed threw the room door. My dad was very good looking he stood 6ft 5in and had the prettiest Carmel colored skin and all the women would do anything to be seen with him. My mom said to him here hold her she's yours my father picked me up so gently and so amazed when looked in my face he said she's gorgeous I think I'm going to name her deja. My mom said your not gonna name our baby after your dead ex-girlfriend. My father said come on with your bullshit I love name deja and That's what gonna name her and I don't want to nothing else about it. Deja was my father's ex-girlfriend that was killed by a stray bullet coming home from the welfare office. Deja and my father had 2 sons together and my father's raising them so they wouldn't go in the foster care system. My father was 25 years old and I was has 6 child he was happy because I was only girl.. After a second of of silence my mom my father and hear this big commotion going on at the nurses station my grandmother and my great aunt Celeste was asking for my room number and noone would help because they were so loud and cussing everybody out finally one of the nurses gave them the room number and they cussed and cussed all the to my room. My mom said to my father hide tyriq I don't want my mom going off on you. My father said I ain't hiding from no fuckin body it's about time that we Met but tyriq I need to tell you something before my mother could finish her sentence the room door was swag open and my grandmother and my great aunt entered. My grandmother said who this grown ass man holding my grandbaby?? My father said my name is tyriq and I'm please to meet you. My grandmother said oh your please to meet me well only place your going be welcome is a jail cell. My daughter is 15 yrs old and you look like your pushing 30. My father said wait a minute crystal told me she was 17 I had no clue that she was 15. My mom said that's what I was trying to tell before my mother in the room I was scared to tell you my real age because I thought you were gonna leave. My father said you damn right I'm leaving your young ass alone I'm trying to catch a statutory rape case. Well work something out with deja but you me are through. My grandmother bust out in laughter now look at you , you stuck with a baby how you gonna provide for that lil crumb snatcher she speak up dumb ass. And out of no we're my grandmother snatched my mom from the hospital bed and started whaling on her. Luckily my father and Lillie was able to break them up. My grandmother said in a loud tone nigga get your fuckin hands of me oh what y'all think you're going to jump me!!! No ms. Mathis I would never put my hands on a woman. My grandmother said whatever just don't touch me. So crystal were gonna have to this on my welfare grant cause this baby needs pampers clothes and milk. My father said I'm going to provide for my daughter but I'm not dealing with her mother look crystal let me know what deja needs and get it for her cause I'm not putting my money in your mother's hands so she and her sister drinking it up. Oh by the way I'm keeping all of my receipts just in case you want take me to court look I have get up out of here cause don't and tyriq jr are getting ready to woke up and I let them alone cause there sleeping peacefully and when I got the call I rushed right over here. My mom said I understand tyriq take care of your boys but deja needs a car seat and a outfit when we get discharged in two days. My grandmother said well were do you planning on living?? My mom said I thought we could come to your apartment mommy I promise the baby won't be a bother I'll take care of her I just a bassinet for deja sleep in and sleep in bed with my 3 sisters. My grandmother said well why do you talk to that old ass man you been sleeping with for some money so you and that baby can stay at my place. My mom said but mommy you see he don't want anything else to do with me because I lied to him about my age. My grandmother cut her off in mid sentence look Crystal you need to talk to that old ass man you been fuckin and ask him for 300 dollars so you and your baby can have a place to stay cause if you don't have 300 dollars when you discharge you and your baby are gonna be homeless!!!!
TO BE CONTINUE!!!!
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How It Feels To Be Me
Non-Fictioncoming of age story of black woman who life started in barrios of New York city raised in poverty and the struggles she faced on her way of being one of riches madam in los Angeles.
