-Taylors Pov-
We are leaving tomorrow morning, so we are soaking up the last hours with Travis for a while. I don't want to leave, but I have obligations in New York. I've booked an inn to record some music, and I'm not about to cancel on people because of a guy I don't intend on telling them about at the moment.
I'm not interested in another secret relationship, one where we only go out in the shadows, but for now, we want to keep it under wraps so we can get to know one another. I don't even know if I can call this a relationship yet or if we are just two people casually hanging out. don't know if I can even do casual anymore though, I have a kid and that complicates things. I also don't think I'm made for casual; I've never been good at that.
I don't think I can do casual, but I don't know If I'm ready to be in a relationship either. I'm confused as to what I want and what I'm ready for. Am I really ready to move on from my ex? we were together for so long before that crashed and burned. In the beginning, I thought he was the love of my life, but the lights shut off and it turned dark. I was wandering around in the dark for so long that I don't know if I'm truly out in the daylight again. I feel like I'm basking in daylight when I'm with Travis, but is that just something that I will feel now but they have it fade? Can it really feel like this in the long run or am I just kidding myself? it could just be the honeymoon period where the idea of something epic overshadows everything else, overshadowing reality. But it could also all be true, that he will help heal me. that he might be exactly what I need in my life.
"Mommy bye, I'm going now" Thea has been running around with the dogs all morning, but now she is leaving with her nanny to go on an adventure for a few hours.
"have a good time with Michelle. Be my good girl and listen to her, okay?" I kiss the top of her head and she nods "yes Mommy."
She ships over to Michelle who is waiting by the door and leaves with her. They have a security guard with them, but other than that Thea gets to be a normal kid for a little bit. It hurts that someone else can give her what I can't. if I go out with her like that her life will be forever changed, forever thrust into the spotlight. It feels selfish of me to do that to her just so I can take her out with me.
**
Travis was going to have his friends over to his house, but then he had a good point. What I they are there when Thea gets back? I'm not ready for that yet. So instead he got Ross, the guy I met yesterday, to host us.
Travis, having been here many times before, steps into his house before me, but holds my hand tightly. The nerves are bubbling inside me, nerves from meeting people who mean so much to Travis. What if they don't like me? what then?
I don't have time to think too much about it before Travis drags me out onto the backyard patio where his group is waiting for us. "Man, I'm glad you two could make it" Ross comes over and fist bumps Travis before, surprisingly, giving me a one-armed hug. "good to see you again Taylor."
"you too Ross"
Looking over at the round table where the others are sitting, I see they are frozen in their spots as they look at us. No one moves an inch and I immediately get nervous. They seem in shock to see me, and I get that, but I still get chills down my back.
Thankfully Travis doesn't let the awkwardness linger and introduces me to the group. "guys this is Taylor. Tay, this is my manager Andre, his wife Amanda, my good friend Aric and you have already met ross" It's the first time he called me "Tay" and I like it. my friends call me that, it's a sentiment that we are close.
"hi, guys" I do a little awkward wave and beat myself up for it afterward. Way to look awkward Taylor. thankfully they break out of their shock and stand up to come say hi.
"Sorry about that Taylor. we just... were just caught off guard. No one told us anything, so we are a little shocked that you're here. didn't think his bracelet thing would actually work" Amanda says with a warm smile. She is the lone woman in the group but doesn't seem to mind.
"no worries" I smile back at her. She links her arms with me and drag me over to the table motioning for me to take the empty seat beside her. I hear the boys talk behind me, but I can't make out what they are saying as I try to focus on Amanda.
"it's good to have another lady in the group. It gets too testosterone filled at times" she grins, and I can't help but chuckle. "oh I can imagine" I agree. she talks to me like she has known me for years, not like someone who is stars struck about meeting "Taylor swift" and it's nice.
There is movement on the other side of me and Travis takes a seat while the rest of the gang takes their seats again too. someone pulled up an extra chair or two so everyone can fit around the circular stone table filled with snacks and beers.
"so Taylor, how are you liking KC so far" Aric asks, and I turn towards him "I haven't seen much yet, mostly just the hotel for a brief second and then Travis's house. liked what I saw from the car though, I might go exploring when I come back."
I feel Travis lay his hand on my thigh, so I put mine over his and intertwine our fingers. We hadn't talked about me coming back, but I can't imagine staying away for long. We haven't talked about what we are, or where we are going, but I feel like this is going somewhere. Hopefully, that's not just me making things up in my head, hopefully, he is on the same page as me. it would hurt if he didn't want to keep seeing me, but I get it, I have a kid, and that complicates things. He is so good with Thea, but it could also be too much for him. I wouldn't blame him for walking away. I just hope that he will walk away sooner rather than later so my heart doesn't get broken.
"you gotta explore more. The city has a lot to offer" he continues, and I agree with him, I think Kansas City might be somewhere I enjoy quite much. I've played shows at Arrowhead several times, but I've never stuck around to explore before. If something develops between me and Travis, I want a tour of the city he calls home, I want to see all his favorite spots around here.
"what I want to know is how this asshole managed to get you to come here?" Andre asks and I turn to look at him. "I was told about the bracelet stuff after he talked about it on his podcast. I watched it, though he seemed nice, and reached out. we talked, met, and now I'm here" I give him the short rundown of a long story.
When I was first told some football player had made me a friendship bracelet, I thought Tree was joking, but she wasn't. he really had sat down and made it himself with his number on it. at the show he had tried to get backstage to see me, talked with security and everything, but he didn't get through them. My security has strict orders not to let anyone not pre-approved backstage at the shows. Mostly because it's long and I need to rest up afterward, but also because there are a lot of people who want to meet me. that's not my ego talking, it is the truth. A lot of celebs put in their request to come backstage and meet me at the show, or have a slot in the VIP tent, but I let few people through. I they get a no they get the same speech about me being on voice rest after and before the show. it's mostly true, I try to keep quiet, but it's also an effective excuse I make.
The conversation shifts away from focusing on me and into casual topics the group is interested in. They let me slide into it with them, listen to what I have to say, and don't ignore me like I'm used to my ex's friends doing from time to time. I actually feel welcome here, they are all present at the moment, and no one is looking at their phone or being bitchy. They are like a little family, that's how close they seem. I've only just met them, but I can tell they are a good group of people. Travis knows how to surround himself with people with good energy, that's for sure.