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The Banana man... he was a middle aged man with dark brown hair, who always wore a white shirt, and most importantly, always had a banana in his hand which he ate sinisterly..
Everyone always ran away from the Banana man's menacing pre...
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It finally happened. Our duo had finally gotten together!! After hanging out in the park and cafe a few days ago, they've started dating! Currently, the Banana man and Baguette man are hanging out again in the Baguette man's home to bake some banana bread. However, the duo is unaware of the evil soon to come.
***
While the Banana man and Baguette man are having fun and enjoying life, another man just around the corner is not. After being fired from his only job, Freddy Fazbender's Pepperonerie (for apparently selling illegal fireworks to children), Matthew Virgina couldn't get money. It wasn't like his last job was paying him enough anyway. Despite being in despair, Matt didn't stop smiling. He had a mischievous plan.
***
"I'm so excited, babe! This is gonna be so much fun! :))" The Baguette man said as he and his lover started getting the ingredients out to bake their banana bread together. "Me too!! Wait..." The Banana man said as he looked at the ingredients. "What is it?" The Baguette man asked.
"Dang it! We're missing a few things! I'll go to the market real quick to get them, you stay here and make sure the ingredients we have now are safe!" Said the Banana man as he left to go to the market.
The Banana man was now at the market, getting eggs, butter and bananas. He bought the missing ingredients, and left the market, but as he was walking towards home, a voice called to him. It was coming from the back alley. "Hey. I see that you just bought some stuff from the market. Wanna buy some stuff from me too?" Said the mysterious voice. The Banana man turned around to look at the back alley to see who the voice was coming from. There stood a grinning man who looked to be in his mid 20's. He had a tan complexion and was wearing a gray polo shirt with blue jeans. And of course, he was smiling. "Who the HELL are you? And what do you mean buy??" The Banana man questioned. "I'm Matt. Everyone loves me! Don't you want to buy some things from me? I have the.. Exclusives. ;)" The Banana man then gasped and became furious. "FUCK OFF! I HAVE A BOYFRIEND!!! 😡" Yelled the Banana man to Matt as he started running off.
Matt just stood there, surprised. "Boyfriend??.. I wasn't even flirting! That jerk didn't even buy anything from me!!" Matt was very offended. Although he always tried getting bitches, he never really understood the concept of couples and all that stuff. Him getting yelled at by some random stranger, especially one that was in a relationship, really got him mad. He hated how couples always had to rub it in other's faces that they had a special someone! Matt just wanted to sell some stuff, and he couldn't even do that since some brainwashed imbecile misunderstood him! Maybe it's because Matt is a virgin who never found love, but Matt needed to get revenge. He decided to follow the Banana man home without him noticing. He wanted to teach him a lesson.
***
"Honey, I'm home!" The Banana man said to the Baguette man as he returned home with the missing ingredients. "Banana man!! I missed you! 😖 Now let's start our fun baking!!" Said the Baguette man as he hugged the Banana man. "Omg yess!! 😇 By the way, some weird guy tried flirting with me while I was leaving the market. I think he always tried selling drugs too but I was too scared to notice. 😞" The Banana man confessed. "How dare he! 😡 It's okay though, you're safe with me now, pookie bear. 😘" Baguette man replied, as the Banana man started blushing. The two then finally started their baking, cracking eggs in a bowl, mixing the ingredients together, and having fun. Little did they know, they were being watched.
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Matt found the Banana man's location, and he was now watching both him and the Baguette man through the windows. He wanted to gag at the sight of them being lovey dovey. Why can't they just keep that stuff at home?? Oh wait. Anyway, Matt was thinking of a mischievous plan.
He waited for when it was the right time, and then slowly entered the home without our duo noticing. He hid behind the sofa while the Banana and Baguette man continued their baking.
Matt finally put his plan into action when the two put their banana bread in the oven and went to the bedroom. With the banana bread being left unattended, Matt opened up the oven, took the banana bread out and sprinkled drugs on it. He then put the bread back into the oven to bake and quickly skedaddled out of the home. The drug laced banana bread was finished baking, and the Banana and Baguette man came back into the kitchen to take it out of the oven. The two were in awe as they looked at the banana bread they made together proudly. "Woww, this looks great!!" The Baguette man said. "Come on, let's eat! You can have the first bite, hun 😘" Said the Banana man as he cut a piece for the love of his life. The Baguette man took a bite but he had a look of disappointment as he ate it. "This tastes... odd." The Baguette man commented. "Aww, well, that's okay, at least we had fun making it!" Reassured the Banana man. "Yeah you're right!... but, I don't think it should taste like this.. Somehow it's bitter and salty, but we didn't add anything to make it taste like this!" Explained the Baguette man."Huh, that IS odd." The Banana man replied. Suddenly, the Baguette man started coughing and he then fell down to his knees. "OH MY GOD! ARE YOU OKAY???" The Banana man exclaimed as he quickly went to help the Baguette man, holding him in his arms. "Speak to me, bro!! 😢 " "S-something is wrong with this banana bread!! Said the Baguette man as he was coughing even more. "I'm gonna take you to the hospital, bro!!" Said the Banana man as he tried carrying the Baguette man, but suddenly, he was stopped by Matt, who stood in the kitchen in front of them, making a grand entrance. Matt started laughing sinisterly. "YOU! .. YOU DID THIS, DIDN'T YOU?! HOW DARE YOU!!!!" The Banana man yelled with rage as tears streamed down his eyes. "That's what you get for not buying my edibles, pal." Matt said nonchalantly, still smiling at the Banana man. "E-edibles..?? Oh right you were trying to sell drugs." "That's right. But YOU thought I was flirting, you ninnyhammer." Matt replied back. He went on. "I don't even know how you made that conclusion! There were literally no signs of me being seductive, are you really THAT brainwashed? Damn, I don't get you "lovey dovey" people.." The Banana man looked at Matt with anger. "EXCUSE YOU? BRAINWASHED?? Okay sure, I made a misunderstanding, but you're seriously gonna call me brainwashed for having a special someone?? How LONELY are YOU? I bet you're just doing this because YOU never found love! You're JEALOUS." The Banana man yelled back, trying to hide his smug look. Matt's jaw dropped. "How fucking DARE you!!! But you know what. Sure. But you made me this way.. If I can't find love, NO ONE CAN." Matt then sprinted to the kitchen knife and grabbed it, and tried stabbing the Baguette man while the Banana man was carrying him on his shoulders, luckily the Banana man was fast and avoided it. "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU??" The Banana man yelled, running for the door. The Banana man ran and ran until he reached the hospital, unsure if Matt was following him or still in his house, but at this point he didn't care because the only thing his mind was able to think about was whether or not the Baguette man was going to be okay. He finally reached the hospital and told the staff everything that happened. The Baguette man was taken to the ER, fortunately he was safe and would get better soon after rest. "I'm so glad you're okay!!" The Banana man sobbed as he sat next to the Baguette man in his hospital bed. "Thank you for bringing me here on time.. I don't know why that Matt guy would do something like this." The Baguette man said. "But whatever.. I'm just glad I'm here with you." The Baguette man put his hand on the Banana man's cheek and then kissed him. (I'm so fucking sorry Idk)
Although the Baguette man was in the hospital, he was still healthy and had the Banana man by his side. As for Matt, let's just say that there was some justice for our duo since Matt didn't follow them nor do anything bad while in their house. Instead, Matt just stood there wondering what he was doing with his life. It was enough for the cops to show up too, since our duo did indeed report Matt to the police, and it was easy for them to find him with his distinctable features. Matt was taken to the police station for questioning, (you know, for the illegal fireworks sold to children at his old job, trying to sell drugs to people, drugging food, assault and trespassing.)
Our story doesn't end here however. While Matt was being questioned, an unexpected visitor came to the police station. "Uhh hello? Um.. I'm here to see Matthew Virgina."
Matt turned his head and was in shock when he saw that it was his old manager from his old job, Steven Stevenson! Matt turned his head away quickly in embarrassment. He knew that he was done for and was going to be put in prison if Steven found out about what he did...except Steven said something that Matt would've never expected.
"Yeah um, I'm here to justify his wrongs and get him out of here. He's innocent."
...He was trying to bail Matt out of jail?! The police looked suspiciously at Steven, but by his fancy, and well put outfit they assumed he was right. "I hope you know that there will be a large fine. Around $500,000." The police said. Steven cringed but agreed.
Matt and Steven finally left the police station, with Steven looking at Matt disappointingly. "Matt. I swear to GOD if you do anything like this again. Do you realize how much money I had to spend??" Matt smiled. "..Why though? Why did you help me?" He asked. Steven paused and then sighed. "Okay, I know the things you did were downright horrible, and I could've just left you there since that cost A LOT of money. But.. I guess I just needed you back at the restaurant. And I guess I also appreciated that one time you helped me out." Admitted Steven. "Does this mean I'm not fired anymore??" Matt asked. "Yes.. but please. DON'T sell illegal fireworks, or drugs, to children. Or anyone. I WILL actually fire you for real and also report you to the police if so." Said Steven. Matt just smiled and nodded. "Sure, boss."
As the two walked home Matt thought to himself. Maybe having someone there for you wasn't bad at all.
![The Banana man and Baguette man /// [An enemies to lovers story]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/365317290-64-k861152.jpg)