kisses and cuddles // valentino x valentino

Chapter 1- Betrayal

The blind stupid pimp valentino looked around in a panic.

"Val... I'm done with your fugly bitch ass :/" Angel said with a sigh, turning around and running the other direction to get away from his previous captor. Val began to weep hot pink tears into his nasty greasy arms, and wiped his snot onto his wing.

That dumb bitch Lucifer, the "kInG oF HeLl" as everyone else says, had burst into his studio unannounced during the foot fetish video that Val really wanted to film with Angel. Being the kind humble genitalman he is, Valentino ran excited up to Lucifer with his wings flapping in the air conditioning behind him and his feet kicking in the air.

"Ah, the one and only Lucifer!! THE BIG MAN! How would you like to star in my foot fetish video? You would become even more popular here, and maybe even up in heaven! How about that big boy?" Val had said to the king of hell.

Lucifer, however, looked less than impressed. He rolled his eyes so far that Val could just barely make out what looked like an optic nerve through his god awful moth vision, and burped rather loudly into Val's face. His breath smelled like old tomatoes and hair.

"I. Would. Rather. Die. You. Ugly. Pimp. Daughter. Toucher. Boy. Lover. Gay. HOE." he spat at the 11 foot moth man, having to tilt his head to a 270 degree angle just to see him.

"Oh sweetie cakes!! What did you come for then my honey boo boo biscuit bear Lu-Lu?" Val sang into the air, nasty red spit droplets flying in every direction.

With that, Lucifer started grinning so wide that he almost looked like his secret lover Alasty Wasty for a moment. "To do this!" He used his super big boy powers to summon every contract Val had, and then laser blasted them with an angelic beam. Then he flew away without another word, laughing to himself the whole time.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUCK YOU LUCIFER!" Val screamed, falling to his knees.

Everything he had worked for the past 150 years, gone. Within a single second. His ex-actors stared at him in shock, before suddenly all smiling. He watched as they all cheered and screamed, putting their clothes back on and trampling him as they ran out the door crying with happiness.

Valentino laid on the floor and started to violently shake and sob and throw up on the floor.

He picked himself up, stumbling out of the Vees tower while still sobbing violently and shaking so hard that everyone around thought he was having a seizure or something. He fell into the road and curled up into fetal position while a puddle of his dark red spit vomit formed around him.

Suddenly, he heard a noise. It sounded like a wannabe posh raspy smoker voice, and he knew it had to be sir pentious. (I KNOW HES DEAD JUS YK WHATEVRE) "WHO DARES CROSS MY PATH!! PREPARE TO DIE, SMALL MOTH BOY."

As a last effort to not die, Valentino pulled his wings up over and around his trembling body. He sobbed into the hot asphault and prepared for his inevitable demise. As he heard the death ray or whatever tf its called charge up, he sucked in a shaky breath.

Everything went black.

Suddenly, Val woke up. "What the hell happened...?" he asked himself drowsily, before remembering the day's events. "HOLY GUACAMOLE IM ALIVE!!!" He cheered excitedly, picking himself up off the ground.

That's when he saw it.

Next to him, on the floor, was.... another Valentino?