Sultana

GÜNLÜK -- DIARY

Marhba sevgili günlük! ( hello dear diary)
How are you? I'm good! Hope you are fine. Tonight's shy looking much more darker than other nights and It's feels like the night is endless but I also don't want the morning begin soon because tomorrow is the day when all the training and hardwork will end and I will become sultana ( queen ).

I know that I always wish Allah to end my training soon so why I'm not happy for tomorrow. I don't know! becoming a sultana ( queen) it's a big responsibility and I feels like I'm not ready for it. I know they train me years for this but still.

You know when I was in my early childhood if you asked me " is you want to become a sultana? " My answers would be " yes I LOVE TO BECOME A SULTANA " because that time I was not aware of the sacrifice you have to do for this position and you know I neither choose this position nor my parents. The royal family choose me for is position.

so basically the day I was born was the same day Sehzade ( prince) born. So the late sultan Ibrahim ( king) decided to engage us. So basically my father was a Pasha and also a most trusted man and a best friend of sultan Ibrahim ( king ) so when the sultan ( king ) got to know about my birth so he decided as per the tradition why not he choose his best friend and most trusted man kiz evlât ( daughter ) has his only Sehzade's sultana and as you know when sultan (king ) decides something no one have the audacity to go against his decision so that how I got engaged to the Aslan sultan.

you know the day I chosen to be a future sultana I also became the part of royal family so that mean all the rights my parents have on me are gone. So that means what ever the decision Ibrahim sultan and Amira sultan made for me my parents have to obey them without any protest. You know Günlük ( diary ) my name Azina is also given by Amira sultan my parents don't even have the right to name me.

(Sight) so when I turn three years old as per Amira sultan order they take me away from my parents , my house to training home. Where I met teyze ( aunty ) Nasira. What should I say about Teyze (aunty) she good and evil at same time it's depends on your behaviour and actions. If you obey her and follow her command she will be the best but if you disobey her and make a single mistake than she is evil a pour demon. I think I should not call a person demon but I can't stop my self from calling her that.

okay so when I came training house teyze ( aunty )startrd my training class. In my classes I learn about how a sultana talk , walk ,think , do thing. Basically each and everything about becoming a perfect sultana. I also completed my schooling in training house. And I also learn Sword fighting , Archery , Martial art and horse riding at training house.

They make me learn all the things which Sehzade (Prince) likes. Like playing chess and political things. After all this years of training here " I'M SITTING A PERFECT SULTANA ( queen)". My whole revolve around Sehzade (prince) liking and sultana (queen).

I learn all this things of someone else choose they never give me the right to choose anything for my self.

Günlük ( diary ) you know I don't even have many memories with my parents. And also I forgot many thing about them like their voice , habits , etc. I can say I almost forgot everything about them because when they bought me here training house was the last time I saw my parents after that I never got to met my parents again and.... w..when I was five years old my parents di...died . They got attacked by the neighbouring country king Alex army man when they were coming back from Bursa to Istanbul. When I got the news of course I feel bad but I was not affected that much because at the age of three when you get separate from your parents the affection and attachment you have for them is also start getting disappear slowly.

Sometimes I feel lucky that I am chosen for sultana position because if I didn't get chosen than maybe right now I become the palace maid. But again If I didn't get chosen for this position than I get more time to spend with my parents.

I...I always feel lonely in this training house until the age of fifteen. When I was fifteen I got introduced to a girl. She is one year older than me and so beautiful. She came her for train to be my personal maid. yes I talking about Aysha. When I first met her I immediately feel attached with her and we became best friend and she is like my sister .

She was only friend of mine until eighteen. At eighteen I got to meet two young boys. They were appoint to be my personal guard. They are fearless and wise. They are like my brothers and also friend. Yes I'm talking about Hamza and Harun.

The three of them are like my family. Their present make this training house feel home. Because of them I got to know what friendship feels like before them I have no friend. We used to play and talk alot in the absence of teyze ( aunty) because when teyze ( aunty) is around she didn't leave a single chance to tell them they are my servant. She always tell " You have respect her she is future sultana you can't talk to her this frankly always remember your place blah blah blah " like what rubbish is this. They are the only close people I have in my life. They are only one's I can call family. But teyze ( aunty ) never understand this. She always tell me to treat them like a servant. But I never listen her. I can't treat them like servant they are my only friends and family but I also don't have any other option rether than obey to her because I don't want to get scold from Amira sultan and teyze (aunty) so in front of teyze ( aunty ) I use to give them order like Aysha give me a glass of water or do this or that but in her absence we used to behave like family we play ,we do fun ,we talk.

Hmm..

so after all these years training tomorrow is the day when I will become the Sultana and a new chapter of my life will be start. I don't know how thing will be. I know I'm over thinking but what can I do I know nothing about Aslan sultan. In all these years I only met him two time. like first time I met him was when we were fourteen at that time we had a small conversation and the second time you can't even say it's meeting. It's just like we bumped each other at bazaar but we had no conversation he just " sorry " and went from their . It almost been one month. I can't deny he is handsome. He have beautiful features but I hope he also have a good character and personality.

The interaction we had last time I also noticed one thing which also make me a little scared. Like when I saw him his eyes hold a different kind of emotions but his face expression was blank but his eyes. It's like he was frustrated or angry on something.

But I hope for the best. It's the only thing I can do! I hope everything will be the way teyze (aunty) always telles me like everyone will respect you and you will get loved by royal family a lot because you are the sultana (queen) of the only Sehzade (Prince) I mean sultan ( king ) now. And the Aslan sultan will love you lot and you will get the importance and care. I hope everything will be the way teyze (aunty ) told me.
InshAllah!

Okay so I realized that I didn't tell to a single thing about what I actually want. Okay so in my twenty - two years of life I never become the first priority for any one. I never got that importance from anyone. If I got the little bit of attention or care from any one is always for my status. It never for my true self. No one in my life actually care about my self. Like what I am or what I like. ( Except three of my only friends). I just want my freedom. Teyze ( aunty) always told me that after become the Sultana I will get that freedom. I like to be a straight forward girl and carefree but I can't be that because " A PERFECT SULTANA (QUEEN) ALWAYS KNOW WHAT SHE IS SAYING AND SHE ALWAYS BE CAREFUL WITH HER ACTIONS AND BEHAVIOR " teyze (aunty) word and unfortunately I have to obey her.

But I think I deserve this position because the sacrifices I made is not small. Let be very honest I will not let anyone to steal this position from me.

Okay günlük (diary) I think now I should sleep because if teyze ( aunty ) find out I stayed up this late she will not hesitate to scold me on my wedding day.

Elveda!
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PROMO OF NEXT PART

It's so beautiful.

I'm angry with her.

Azina blush.

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