I Wish- FEMALE READER X NATASHA ROMANOFF- MCU Black Widow

Chapter III

1 year later

12. That's how many people I've murdered since Nat left. 13 if you count the first one, when Nat was here. I miss her more than anything. Ever since she's said those words, the three words that we were taught meant nothing, I can't forget her for even one second. Even though I haven't seen her for a year, I can still remember every detail about her. Her long, fiery red hair. Her deep green eyes. Her playful smirk that always rests on the lips I'd give everything to kiss.

"Y/N? By this time, your target would've already tied you up and left you to the wolves!" Madame B shouts in my ear.

"Sorry, ma'am." I grit my teeth and lift my gun.

Bang.

Bang.

Bang.

The three bullets go right into the center of the target. I did that without a single thought racing through my mind. When I shoot, everything melts away except me, my gun, and the target in front of me. I still don't know if that's a blessing or a curse.

"Hm." Madame B says, walking away.

I allow myself a small smile before shooting again.

Bang.

Bang.

Bang.

(...)

"No!" I yell, shooting up in my bed before pain travels up my arms. I look down and see the handcuffs my wrists are trapped in.

Nightmares have been a regular occurrence since my first kill, which was also the day Nat left. I'm positive that if she were here, they'd be ten times better.

Most of them have been about Nat, her dying on her mission, her deciding to leave me, Dreykov killing her. There's so much nightmare material around me, I'd be surprised if I am able to make it through one night.

Usually, I just stare at the ceiling and listen to myself breathing. Sometimes I imagine Nat is still lying in the bed next to me. I don't talk to her or anything, I just pretend that she's in the same room.

I think about what Nat told me when she left. Did she say that because she knew she would leaving? Does she mean it platonically? Did she think I would forget in the 2-3 years she would be gone?

These questions race in my head until a guard comes in to undo the handcuffs. "Dreykov wants you in his office. I'll be waiting outside." He tells me before exiting the room.

I quickly get up and change. Dreykov hasn't so much as glanced at me since he saw me and Natalia in the ring a year ago. If he was ordering me to come see him, it must be important. 

I walk outside the room and hurriedly walk behind the guard. Even though I know I shouldn't get my hopes up, I still imagine seeing Natalia standing in front of his desk, just like all those years ago. 

Sadly, when I walk into his office, there's only Dreykov there. 

"Y/N, welcome!" Dreykov says enthusiastically, as if he hasn't been completely ignoring me for the past year. He motions for me to stand in front of his desk, and sends the guard away.

I bite my tongue when I reach his desk. There's so many things that I wish I could say to the bastard, and it kills me that I can't even glare at him without a punishment. 

"I bet you're jealous of Natalia, hm? She gets to go on this big special mission, while little Y/N has to stay here and train. It's unfair, isn't it?" he asks. He walks behind me and begins rubbing my shoulders. It's takes all of my willpower not to turn around and punch him in his smug face.