The Chronicles of Randomness: The life of Sal.

Chapter 2: Crushes

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

OKAY before I go to sleep I HAVE to share this story

When I was studying 5th Grade in China I had this massive crush on the troublemaker of the class, so let's call him Al.

Like I said, Al was the troublemaker and he had the worst grades in the class while I had one of the best grades. So one day our HRT(homeroom teacher) paired us together so that I could be a good influence on him.

TURNS OUT SHE WAS WRONG.

IT WENT THE OTHER WAY AROUND.

My grades started deteriorating ever since I started to grow a crush on him, and keep in mind he was also a typical "bad boy" fifth grader and hooh

yall I don't even know

We even sang "All falls down" by Alan Walker together and he once sung my name over and over again AND THE GIRL SITTING NEXT TO ME SAW THAT AND SMIRKED AT ME AND SIDE-EYED ME AND NUDGED ME LIKE DUDE ME AND AL HAD THE 👏🏻CONNECTION👏🏻

BRO EVEN CARED FOR ME BC HE THOUGHT I WAS GONNA HARM MYSELF BUT NO I WAS JUST GOING TO THE BATHROOM TO WASH MY HANDS BRO CARED

But yall

I was ten years old

I literally fell head over heels with this guy and i thought no one knew turns out everyone knew. Even the teachers. And I thought i was being sneaky.

When covid hit i was forced to migrate away from China to Indonesia and we lost contact ever since, and for a while i missed him terribly

But now after some years, I look back at myself and the only thought I have is "brother eugh" 😭🙏🏻

He didn't like me back plus okay oooh

Bro was so full of himself okay lemme tell yall this one story

It was lunch time and we had lunch in the cafeteria as usual, it was Grade 6 and for every class we had a long table so we could all eat together, I was sitting in between some girls and Al was sitting in front of us

He said "yo check this out" and held his breath to force his face to redden and we all thought that was so cool, he thought he was so cool too

But then he suddenly lost breath and laughed

AND

HIS

BOOGERS

AND

SPIT

CAME

OUT

AND

FLEW

INTO

OUR

PLATES

AND

SPREAD

ALL

OVER

OUR

FOOD

WE SCREAMED IN DISGUST AND AL WAS SO EMBARRASSED HE HID HIS HEAD UNDER THE TABLE IT WAS SO HILARIOUS I CAN'T EVEN EXPLAIN I STILL LAUGH MY EYEBALLS OUT WHEN I THINK ABOUT IT NOW

AND THEN OOOOOOOHHH OKAY OKAY OKAY STOP SHUT UP

There was this one time during 4th grade, he brought some kind of red slime to school, it was that kind of slime where it was a bit sticky but it was honestly gooey and couldn't stretch real far. So he brought it to school without our HRT knowing and during recess he swung it over and over like a whip with his right hand

After a good amount of swinging the slime suddenly snapped in half

One part stayed in his hand

THE OTHER FLEW TO THE CEILING AND GOT STUCK THERE

It ended up in him getting punished and that little piece of slime was stuck there for 2 years and I can bet that it's still there even now.

I think in that same year I started to have a t i n y crush on him because ohhhh okay

I said something that made him mad alright I forgot what I said but he was MAD MAD

And so

He

Uh

There was a giant cabinet standing behind the classroom which was filled with all kinds of textbooks and you can see through it since the doors are made of glass

Well uh

He pushed me towards that cabinet and pinned me on it and then looked down at me with those very angry eyes like it was the type of pinning a girl to the wall type of thing, and that was the day my "bad boy" era awakened

AND BEFORE YOU LAUGH DON'T YOU DARE LAUGH WITHOUT ME BECAUSE I UNDERSTAND 8 YEAR OLD ME WAS STUPID I WAS THE STUPIDEST WEIRDEST KID IN THE SCHOOL I KNOW

I KNOW

OKAY

And Al had this thing where he'd be like an alpha wolf yk and howl whenever he wanted to "aSsErT hIs dOmInAnCE" for example he'd suddenly go "AUUUUUUUURRRGHHHHHHHH" WHILE RUNNING DURING PE CLASS AND I SECRETLY THOUGHT HE WAS SO FUNNY AND COOL

He'd do that in recess, during morning exercises(we have morning exercises in China) and after the exercises, and do that really quietly during class just to make me laugh

NOW IF I LOOK BACK AT HIM

BACK 🤺 BACK I SAY 🤺🤺

BOI GET YOSELF A THERAPIST AND CALL ANIMAL SECURITY PLIZ

MAK GW TAKUT MAKKKK

Okay now im eepy enough

Goodnight my lovelies

Next chapter is another crush of mine that I still go to school with haha be prepared