Pheasant and Dragon

I love you do you love me?

Smoker helps Kuzan with his recent injuries. They realise this may be the last chance to confess their feelings.

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Stuttering breaths filled the empty room. The room was sparse, with nothing that indicated a person lived here. No personal belongings. The only thing that indicated that someone lived there was the lanky man sitting on the bed at the moment. The bedsheets were clenched tightly as the man gently applied the ointment to the wrinkly patch of skin that encased his cauterised right leg. It had recently stopped leaking blood; therefore, the doctor had instructed him to start applying ointment to his leg. He had no idea why it was so painful, as his nerves were supposed to be burned away or something.

Bam. Bam. Bam.

Three knocks.

"Kuzan. I know you're awake," a gruff voice called out.

Smoker. He would recognise that voice anywhere, plus the man had been coming every night, but Kuzan just hadn't been letting him in. He didn't want people he cared about to see him as a weakling. He was their protector and guardian. Their pillar of support, and he was the one that they should turn to and not the other way around. He doesn't need a pillar of support, especially with his father's age and the fact that Garp isn't really known for his emotional maturity.

Bam. Bam. Bam.

"You have to let me in eventually, Kuzan," Smoker muttered.

He heard the distinctive sound of someone sliding down the door. He frowned at the door. How could he love again? Kuzan exuded love. Love came to him naturally, and he loved deeply, and love overflowed from his heart, oozing at the seams. They took it. One by one, they took the love he gave them, leaving nothing but the whispers of a heart full of love. He only ever loved one person in a romantic sense, and what does he have to show for it? Broken promises, a 20+ year relationship down the drain, and a missing leg with scars that would last a lifetime. He couldn't love anymore.

Yet here, Smoker was worming into his heart. He knew the man had a sort of attraction to him ever since he met him as a newly promoted lieutenant. No matter how much Smoker tried to be aloof about his feelings, he would always catch the stray glare the man gave to the current fleet admiral. Kuzan couldn't lie to himself about the feelings he held for the white-haired man, but he couldn't do it. He couldn't love another person again. Who knew what Smoker could do to him? He can't do it anymore. But... He loves to love.

Kuzan stood up. Better let Smoker down now rather than later. He slowly wormed his way towards the door, which wasn't that far. He was currently staying in a common officer dorm that he had moved into quite recently. Admirals had their own apartments at Marineford, but this was a special case as he used to live with him. They shared everything. What did he even see in that man? He opened the door with all his strength. Smoker fell backwards and looked upwards.

"You could've warned me," Smoker grumbled.

Kuzan grumbled and hopped back towards his spot. He beckoned Smoker towards him and pointed at the opened ointment. Smoker placed his jitte and justice coat into the closet before walking towards the opened container. Kuzan noticed that Smoker wasn't smoking, which was a peculiar sight. Smoker smoked everywhere, no matter how many times Kuzan nagged him, not too, but obviously the stubborn man refused, saying that he was already smoke. His eyebrows shot up, and he made a 'V' symbol, questioning him about where his signature cigar was.

"You hate it. Plus, you are in recovery," Smoker muttered.

Smoker grabbed the ointment and kneeled in front of Kuzan. The jelly-like ointment covered his fingers, and after taking a deep breath, he gently brushed his fingers over the fresh scarring. Kuzan pursed his lips, as he didn't want to let out any sound whatsoever. However, his expression told on him as sweat pooled around his head and his eyebrows scrunched up. Smoker sped up his ministrations, as he wanted it to be over quickly. He didn't want to see Kuzan in pain.

"Do you love me?"

Smoker stopped moving. Kuzan stilled. His head swam as Smoker's expression froze. He was terrified of the answer. Was he stupid to ask that? Probably. But did he regret it? Most definitely. The stillness lasted for 10 seconds. Then the fingers continued moving until the last bit of the scar was covered in the transparent ointment. Kuzan looked down at him, expecting an answer.

Something. Anything.

"No," Smoker whispered. "I don't. I can't. You're leaving me. I shouldn't love you."

"But you do. You love me, or why would you do this? Why would you care so much?" Kuzan argued. "I know you love me, or I wouldn't know what to do if you don't."

He couldn't accept any other fact. What is he thinking? WHY DID HE GET DEFENSIVE? If he were smart, Kuzan wouldn't have replied and just let it be. He could've just let it go and continued his life as normal, but he couldn't. It just wasn't him.

Smoker closed and twisted the cap close.

"I love you. Are you happy now?" Smoker whispered.

He pulled Smoker towards him and embraced him with all his might. Smoker was his. He'll figure out a way. He'll just stow away on Smoker's ship. They have to make it work. He has, too. Maybe the love of another man will heal his tender heart. He'll just have to forget about that mad man, no matter the scars that he left on his being. The physical and the metaphysical.

"I am. I will make it work," Kuzan justified. "You're the only one I have left."

"Then promise me. No more secrets, ok?" Smoker asked.

Kuzan nodded. He was desperate for love. No one else loves him. How can he face Garp and Luffy after letting Ace die? They probably hated him. The only one he has is Smoker. Who else does he have left? He truly was the victim of love.