Silver Sand (Din DjarinxOC)

19.

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Din had it all planned out it seemed.

The republic were quick and efficient when it came to boarding the ex star destroyer and taking out the security for Polaris. One by one, I felt like I was watching people get punished for their sins. The Maker damming them to hell each time a blast killed a supporter for this crooked place. I think seeing these people come to justice did something for my soul. At least now I could sleep better at night knowing they were all dead or going to prison. But most importantly the women and children on that ship were free.

I hadn't even know there were little girls on the ship. I should've known better. Of course the politicians in this wretched galaxy would have their money tied up in trafficking women and children. It fueled my hate for them even more.

But something about seeing their crying faces, with tears of their liberation falling down their innocent cheeks, made something in my chest ache. We shared the same horrid experiences in that place. One day, I hope I meet with either of the girls I was forced to know for two weeks. Maybe it'd be good for all our souls.

Din pointed the women to a republic pilot where we parted ways with a small wave. And I stayed close on Din's heels. He held his hand out for me to take as we walked back to the ship.

I hated how I stared at it.

I hated how I could hear Din's heart break at my hesitance. "It's ok," he assured me," you don't have to."

And I hated the relief that flooded my heart when he retracted his hand. I felt my lip wobble," 'm sorry." I whispered.

It was barely anything to hear, but I knew he heard it, the way his shoulders tensed but he stayed quiet as we continued toward the ship.

But then a realization hit me like a slap to the face making me gasp," Wait! Where's the baby? He was with me when I came, and they took him. I tried to get them to tell me about him but no one said anything. I've been worried sick!." My words flew from my mouth at

Din stopped in his tracks and turned to me, his hands held up high like he was attempting to calm an anxious bantha," Hey, ner cyare he's okay. Grogu is with his own kind."

I searched his brown eyes at his words," Grogu?"

He nodded," there's a lot to tell you. Come on, we're almost there."

__________

Seeing the metal walls of the razor crest should've brought me peace. Maybe even a sense of relief. The relief was there, coursing through my veins but I couldn't deny the wave of dread that was slowly washing over me. Like the tide coming in.

After two weeks spent in that horrible place, I was just supposed to go back to normal? I don't think I knew how or even where to begin.

I looked over at Din who was already watching me very carefully. He was always watching.

But what was he supposed to say? Are you okay? When the evidence before him so strongly suggested otherwise. Coddle me and promise me that it'll get better? That was the last thing I wanted and it would only make me feel worse.

He stayed rooted to his spot, probably too scared to come any closer," Do you remember when you killed that bounty? The wookie?"

I blinked at him and nodded. That seemed like a lifetime ago. Taking a life should've stayed with me and remained at the forefront of my mind, but I found that it was pushed back to the recesses of my mind. Still there, molding who I was becoming as a person. Silently controlling my interactions with people. But never gone. Yet I was still just the same scared woman. I didn't want to feel like that anymore.