meet me at midnight

chapter 21

It felt like I was choking as tears streamed down my face. Walking back home with the daisies in one hand made me feel so pathetic. I feel like I was played, even though I know that it wasn't Anton's intention at all. Besides, like what I said, if he ever opens up his heart to someone, I'll support him.

But, why does it have to be Bora? Why her?

And why can't it be me?

Is it because I'm not as pretty as her? Or was it because I'm not as bubbly? Or is it because I'm just not his type at all?

What do I have to do in order to be chosen by someone? What do I have to do in order to experience being the female lead for just one time? Do I have to beg and kneel? Why can't I be loved even though I always try my hardest to win their affection?

Is there something wrong with me?

Or am I just made to be a side character who doesn't even get a happy ending at all?

Am I really that ugly and unworthy of his affection? I really thought that something will change after what happened last night. But, I was once again proven wrong. I really need to stop assuming things so that I won't get hurt.

Do I really have to wait another timeline to be able to catch Anton's attention even for once?

I wasn't able to see the road well because of the tears in my eyes, so I wasn't even too shocked when I bumped into someone. How fucking unlucky. The daisies I was holding went straight to the ground, and so did my butt. Why am I so fucking unlucky? What did I even do to deserve this?

"Watch where you're going." The guy that I bumped into looked at me angrily as he said those words, but it's a good thing that the girl he was with was fast enough to stop him from saying more. But, she wasn't able to stop the guy from stepping over the daisies I bought for Anton.

I watched his dirty shoes step on it as they both walked away. I couldn't say anything and just stared at the now messy bouquet of daisies. A lone tear escaped my eye as I took it from the ground. This was for Anton, how can he just step on it? This was supposed to make the guy I like smile.

But I couldn't really blame him, I was at fault for not looking. It has always been my fault. I'm only suffering from the consequences of my own actions. I stood up from the ground and winced in pain when I felt my back hurting and my hand stinging. I decided to check my hand and I wasn't even shocked anymore when I saw blood. It was from the impact when I fell to the ground, it got scratched on the road.

I let out a sigh before walking faster. I need to get cleaned up so that I'll be able to clear my head. I need a new plan. It was just a picture of the both of them after all, as long as there's no confirmation that they're together, then I won't back down from our deal.

We're just in the middle of the semester, and Anton gave me until the end of the semester after all.

I won't stop pursuing him. Not yet.

When I finally reached my house, I was shocked to see that the lights were on. Are my parents back? But, why didn't they ask me where I was?

I went in, and I almost let out a yelp when I saw Sungchan sitting on the couch with only the orange lights lit up so it was dim inside the living room.

"Why are you only coming back now? And what's that? Flowers? Were you out on a date? With who? At this hour? What is happening, Jung Yumi?" he asked, and his voice was low and you can tell he was very serious and only holding in his anger.

I couldn't speak up. Because if I did, I feel like I'll only end up crying. He doesn't know a thing what I just had gone through, so can he just stop with the questions and leave me be? I thought he won't be sleeping here, so why is he here right now?