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"So there's been no developments, with your magic I mean. Like not even a tiny flicker or anything?" she prodded, and slowly the bad thoughts resumed again. I could almost feel the sunlight dimming and the trees growing still.
"Literally, zero. I was kind of hoping to ask you how you discovered yours, maybe it would help," I suggested. Laurie was one of the first who had become awakened from our year, making her an ideal source of guidance.
I had been told our magic potential was believed to solidify around the age of eighteen, so time was running out for me to find my essence and element.
There were plenty of faelins who were unbound, so it shouldn't have been a big deal for me. However, the next monarch had to be bound, with no exceptions. Our society prided itself on being able to wield magic, so it only made sense that our leaders would be able to demonstrate a high ability of power. Having zero magic whatsoever was becoming a problem for me, as my parents were expecting me to lay my claim for the throne soon.
The issue lay with being unawakened—to possess no magical ability within your soul. Some would say you had no soul if you had no essence, which I wasn't sure I agreed with.
Being seventeen and unawakened was hard feat. I felt like everybody was judging me, whispering about me as I walked past. Although I had my parents' protection in many ways, I saw how everyone regarded and treated Amara, who was from a low-ranking noble family. Her being unawakened was a big scandal, especially after her parents had pulled her from Mystics class.
I was determined to find my essence before it was too late.
"Hmm, well, it just sort of happened," Laurie replied. Great, very helpful. I couldn't help but scoff at her response. She stifled a giggle and cleared her throat, trying to be serious. I rolled my eyes playfully and couldn't help a small smile tug at the corners of my mouth.
"Yeah it's kinda hard to explain, let me think for a moment." I watched as her lips pursed in thought, her gaze drifted off to become distant, as if she was reliving a memory from long ago.
"I guess, I've always felt a connection to water," she began. "Even when I was very little, before I found my essence. I was just mesmerized by water, the way it moved, rippled, or trickled between stones." Her eyes remained on the distance, where the wisterias cascaded down the walls.
"One day I was sitting by the water, maybe I was ten or so." Woah, she was very young. "And I was sitting in the grass, just on the edge of a small pond with my feet in the water. There was ducks swimming by, and I felt at peace, a homely feeling."
"My finger was tracing the ripples in the water and I felt a spark of some sorts ignite within me. It's kind of hard to explain exactly how I manifested it. But I took my hand out of the water and looked at my palms, and then I saw it, a tiny flicker of my essence had formed in them."
"It wasn't long after my awakening ceremony that I was able to make the water ripple without touching it," Laurie said, a hint of pride in her voice.
"My mother said that was the only thing I wanted to do—to be around water—either playing in it or watching it. She had a hard time getting me to do anything else, so it wasn't a shock that water became my element—it was like it was already a part of me."
Laurice smiled, turning so her eyes met mine. "Sometimes, your element chooses you as much as you choose it, so trust your instincts Delle." Her words were warm and comforting, like a cozy embrace. I returned her smile, a surge of pride swelling in my chest.
As she spoke, I could almost see the little girl she once was, discovering her essence by the pond. It was hard to explain, but I was genuinely happy for her. The way her magic had blossomed so effortlessly was truly beautiful and inspiring.
"Thank you, for sharing that with me. It sounded, well, magical," I giggled, it was the perfect word for her story, even though it was ironic.
"Feel free to ask me for help anytime, you know I am here for you. You can trust me." Laurie put emphasis on those last four words, and I genuinely believed her. I had been hesitant to share my worries and struggles with her before, she always seemed so perfect and put together, and well, I didn't want to seem like a mess in front of her.
"I wonder which element I'll end up with," I mused. The six elements were: Water, Fire, Earth, Air, Light and Spirit. The first four were self explanatory. However, during our banishment from the fae over the millennia, Light and Spirit had been lost to time.
They were extremely hard elements to master, demanding immense strength and discipline. Spirit, in particular, was considered one of the purest forms of magic, accessible only to those whose souls were harbored no darkness within them.
"Hmm, I'd say fire. You've got something burning deep inside you I can tell. You're the type to stand up when something is wrong, or when you see an injustice," she replied. My eyebrows furrowed in response. I didn't know if I fully agreed with her, but then again, it was hard to view myself from an outside perspective.
"I guess if I had to choose, it would be earth. I love going to my secret garden, to get away and just think." If I was being honest, I had always been so desperate for anything to come, that I never actually thought about which element I wanted.
"Hmm, yeah I can see that too, I always find you somewhere in nature."
"But I mean, if we're in total dream land here, Light or Spirit would be cool. I feel like the history books don't do it justice," I said.
"Spirit would be so amazing, I would love to have the ability to heal people," Laurie sighed wistfully, she had natural a instinct to nurture those around her. I suddenly felt regret of not telling her sooner about my sleepless nights, she had done nothing but support me today, and even lightened the mood to make me feel better.
At that moment, I swore to myself to keep Laurie more in the loop, regardless of my natural instinct to hide what was lingering inside me—which was something I had consistently done growing up so I appeared perfect and without flaw.
Court could be cutthroat at times, the other royal families were desperate to take the throne for themselves. I lived in a world where any sign of weakness could be used against you. However, it was evident that Laurie was someone who cared deeply for those around her, and wouldn't betray my trust.
"Maybe in another life, you would have been a Spirit user." We both shared a distant gaze, imaging how different our existence could have been in another life, or another kingdom, or another realm.
Spirit was harnessed from the unseen ethereal realm, the user must meditate and become one with the universe to be able to harness it. The result were miracle healings and being able to talk to spirits, along with other knowledge that had been lost with time.
The power was a reflection of the wielder, that was why you must be pure, it required a lot of control and balance to not tip the scales the other way, whatever that meant.
"Which one would you choose if you had to?" Laurie asked.
I focused my gaze on a vibrant wisteria petal floating delicately to the ground. "Light," I replied.
Light was harnessed from celestial energy, using the moon or stars to conjure beams of light. In the books I had read it said that it was also used to reveal hidden truths and banish the shadows, but no one I'd spoken to knew exactly what that meant. Someone had said it referred to how the sun made shadows disappear, but something in me deep down didn't resonate with that explanation.
It would have been incredible to witness our ancestors wielding light. I had gotten a small glimpse of it once, when the fae came to reinforce our wards that protected our kingdom. It was the only thing that they contacted us for. I'd like to think that deep down they must still care about us. Over a millennia of harmony between faelins and fae had to have run deep.
The fae were opposed to violence, so when the tragedy of the three brothers took place, they had to separate from our kind—only returning a few times a year to reinforce our protection. I was told they never lingered, sharing very few words before flying off into the night, preferring to communicate necessary matters by letter.
I remembered sneaking out with Relion one night to follow them, peeking behind the trees to get a glimpse of them using their light magic.
I'd never seen anything so amazing in my life.
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