Sweet Magnolias Autumn

To-Do Lists & New Doctors

Helen

- Get Annie checked out/ photographic evidence

- Call Dana Sue and Ronnie

- File a police report

Annie wasn't saying anything; she was just resting her head against my shoulder, silently crying. I was trying to calm her by holding her close and stroking her air, but I didn't know if it was helping. The shaking she was doing had lessened, but it was still there. It broke my heart to see her like this, so afraid. I loved Annie as if she were my own daughter, and right now, I just felt helpless. 

I was hoping the to-do list I was making in my head would help me feel useful, but it wasn't. I just felt useless despite how many times I had been in a situation like this before. I never understood how useless friends and family members must have felt. 

I've helped women fight charges like these, and I've done some work towards trying to implement resources, protection and systems into place, but this...this helplessness is something I could never imagine feeling this helpless, this useless. 

In this moment, all I want to do is tell Annie to close her eyes and go to sleep because this is a nightmare that she will wake up and forget, but I can't. So, I'm sitting in the back with one hand stroking her hair and the other around her shoulder, letting my shirt soak up her tears. 

Maddie opened the back passenger-side door and claimed she wrapped one arm around Annie's shoulder, the other around her front, holding her shoulder. We just held her for a couple of minutes, trying to infuse all the love that we could into that hug. After a couple of moments Maddie finally spoke. 

"When you're ready, I checked. We can go in through the back door, and they have an empty patient room for you. You won't have to see anyone other than Dr. Evans, and we won't pass anyone, " she told Annie. 

"I don't know if I can do this," Annie told us. 

"You can do this. We will be with you every step of the way. I double-checked, and Dr. Evans is going to let us both stay in the room as long as you're comfortable with it." Maddie said. 

 "This is just a precaution. We are making sure we have evidence—everything we need in case this escalates. Just because we are doing this doesn't mean that we have to use it; it is simply a precaution." I tell her. 

"But what if he stops? What if kneeing him gets him to back off and leave me alone? Then this all would have been for nothing." Annie says. 

"Not nothing. As a precaution." Maddie gently corrects her. "In case Jackson tries anything else. We just want to make sure you're safe, Honey." 

What we needed was evidence for the emergency restraining order I planned on filing for tonight. I think to myself, but Annie doesn't need to worry about that right now; right now, we just need her to agree to get checked out. 

"Do you want to call your parents?" Maddie asked. "Maybe talking with them will help you decide." 

"No, No," Annie says. "I don't want to tell them; they freak and demand that I do it. Especially Mom"

"They may react differently than you think," Maddie says. 

"They won't," Annie responds. "Let's just go in and get it over with." 

"You sure?" Maddie asks. 

"Yes. I'm sure." Annie says with a look of certainty in her eyes. 

"Okay," Maddie said before opening the car door and climbing out. Annie got out, and then I opened my door and got out. When I reach the front of the car, Maddie hands me the keys and leads us towards the staff entrance. 

*****

As we waited for Dr. Evans to come in, Annie was lying down on her side with her hands pressed together as a pillow on top of the exam table, her eyes glazed over. I was sitting in the chair they had for parents, and Maddie was pacing the room. You could almost see all the feelings in the room: Annie's nervousness, Maddie's tension, and my anger and frustration. 

 I knew we needed to call Dana Sue and Ronnie before we went any further. Dr. Evans wouldn't need their permission, but it was important that they knew what was going on. I just had to find the right way to approach the situation. 

"Annie," I began slowly. "I hate to bring this up, but we will have to call your parents at some point today. Are you sure you don't want to do it before Dr. Evans comes in?" 

As I spoke, Annie's eyes slowly came back into focus, and she slowly sat up. I didn't miss the way Annie winced when she sat up and relieved the pressure from laying on her arm. 

"I promise they won't be angry or mad; they are just going to want to make sure you're okay," Maddie said. What she left unsaid was that they would come home the minute they heard, and that was something we all knew Annie didn't want. All three of us had been receiving calls and texts from both of her parents about how Annie was doing and whether they should come home or not. Annie was clear she didn't want them coming home for her but the situation changed. 

"I think," Annie said before closing her eyes for a moment, letting out a breath before trying again, "I think I need to do this first."

"Alright," Maddie and I said at the same time. Then Maddie resumed her pacing, and Annie's eyes glazed over again as she reverted to the same position she was lying in before. 

We waited a few more minutes before there was a soft knock at the door. 

"Are you ready?" I asked Annie, and she simply nodded her head. "Come in," I said. Then Dr. Evans slowly opened the door and entered the room. She closed the door before speaking. 

"Hi, Annie. I'm Dr. Evans. "she said in a soft voice. "I'm sorry for what happened to you." 

Annie slowly began to sit up to address the doctor. "Thank you, Dr. Evans," she said slowly. 

"I know this must be... Overwhelming, but I was wondering if it was okay if I did an exam and a... an assault kit?" Dr. Evans asked. "I promise I will keep the assault kits here until you are ready to do something about it if you choose to do something about it." 

"An assault kit?" Annie said, sounding absolutely shocked and terrified. 

"It's just a precaution in case there is any bruising, or he hurt you another way. So, that we have evidence if Jackson or his parent decide to try and press charges against you," I told her. 

"Again, it stays here until you say otherwise, Annie. I promise." Dr. Evans said. 

Annie looked between Maddie and me as if asking permission or looking for the answer about what to do. Maddie walked over to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, lending her some strength. 

"It's up to you, sweetie," Maddie told Annie. "We can't answer this for you." I wrapped an arm around Annie's other shoulder, giving her any strength she needed to make this decision. 

"Okay. We can do the kit." Annie said before she wrapped an arm around Maddie's back and the other arm around mine. Holding us close for a moment.