SEVEN

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CHAPTER SEVEN:
COMPASSION

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THE DOCTOR dropped Iris back off in her dorm, parting with an awkward nod.

They hadn't said much, and Iris felt that was partially her fault, partially is.

It was like neither of them were truly ready to embrace the parts of them that the other could see and neither wanted to talk about it either.

"See you next time, Doc," she saluted him playfully and he smiled down at her tensely.

"Until then, Iris Holloway."

And then he was off, the TARDIS whirring away. Iris let out a breath, looking around her dorm for a moment, feeling strangely disconnected. Tears welled in her eyes as the events of the day hit her and Iris felt a longing in her she'd never quite had before.

Without another thought, Iris raced from her dorm, down the hall and across campus to the lecture hall, tears slipping down her cheeks until she made it to the Doctor's office.

The door was unlockd.

Had he expected her?

That only made her cry more.

Iris opened the door and shut it quickly, pulling out her TARDIS key and opening the door, breath quickening until she spotted him, leaning against the consol.

"Theta?" She asked tearfully, biting her lip and fiddling with her hands.

He softened marginally and nodded, waving his hand once for her to come over.

She didn't need anything else and rushed towards him, clinging to him tightly and crying against him. He held her without complaint — which she would've normally teased him about — and stroked her hair softly.

Neither said a word, but she breathed him in. He held her trembling body gently, kindly, with more compassion and understanding than she could have ever imagined him to have. She felt something against her head and realized he'd kissed her hair.

Iris breathed in shakily and pulled away, wiping her tears with her hands.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I know — I know that was-was a lot and—"

"Stop," he cupped her face softly. "It's a lot. I know." His eyes were understanding, compassionate, wise. "What do you need from me?"

Iris bit her lip, leaning into his touch. "I missed you," she whispered. "I know it was you but...it wasn't you that I know you to be and you didn't — you didn't know me and—"

"—That's the only time," he cut her off gently, stroking her skin. "I promise. I'll always know you."

"Okay," Iris closed her eyes, breathing in deeply and letting out a breath. "I'm sorry I yelled at you. Old you, I mean."

"Technically, younger me," he corrected. "I'm the older version, now. He's old in the sense of time, but not in the sense of age."

"I missed you," she smiled up at him, eyes brightening. "Promise you'll never forget me? I don't — I can't do that again."

He grabbed her hand and brought it to his chest, placing it between his hearts. "Cross them and swear on my TARDIS, I'll never forget you, Iris Holloway."

"I'll never leave you, Doctor."

"I know."

The Doctor cheered Iris up soon after her breakdown, taking her to a planet called Helia, where they spent the entire evening talking and wandering through different shops. There was a great frozen yogurt — or, what the Doctor called frozen yogurt but was actually made of something adjacent to coconut milk — and he got her the biggest one they had, topped with all of the normal-looking toppings he "knew she'd enjoy."

Iris appreciated the kindness. She knew he was a little out of his comfort zone, or what he'd shown her so far, but she appreciated it tremendously.

Grabbing his hand, Iris pulled him to a small table and sat across from him, munching on her frozen yogurt. He sat across from her, observing their surroundings, hands intersected.

"You have questions," he commented, looking over her face.

"Do you miss Gallifrey?" She blurted, wincing at the insensitivity. "Sorry, I didn't mean to pry."

He shook his head. "It's alright, little star," his lips quirked up. "I don't mind."

"It's just...I feel like I should know," she began tentatively. "If I'm to travel with different versions of you, and...you've told me some stuff, but not all of it and..."

"I can't tell you everything," he informed her. "Some things you have to discover with me. But I can tell you the basics."

Iris nodded. "If you're comfortable with that."

The Doctor leaned forward, the softest look in his eyes she'd ever seen. "Holloway, I'm not uncomfortable with anything when it comes to you."

Iris bit her lip, looking down at her frozen yogurt. She wasn't sure if she wanted to cry at his sincerity or smile at the hint behind the words.

She settled on moving forward.

"You said there was a war."

The Doctor nodded. "Eat your yogurt, Holloway, and get out your notes. You'll need them."

"What's the best trip you ever took me on?" Iris asked softly, resting her head on the Doctor's shoulder as they rested over atmosphere of the Earth. "Or, that I'll go on."

The Doctor smiled softly. "You'll know it when you get there."

"Which regeneration?" She asked. "I want to be excited for it when it happens."

The Doctor was quiet for a beat before he shook his head. "Honestly, Holloway? I don't have a favorite."

"At all?" Iris frowned, bummed by his response. "You haven't chosen one yet? Or...are none that memorable?"

He chuckled. "Iris, every adventure with you is my favorite," he confessed quietly.

Iris teared up again. What was wrong with her lately? She appreciated him not berating her for it. Typically, he'd mock her or roll his eyes, but not today. He was so gentle with her, so tender. She wondered how close they were in his past — her future.

"Would you have picked me?" She asked softly. "If we didn't travel in opposite directions."

"I didn't pick you," he answered. "I'd never pick you, you're not a rose. I don't believe in fate or...coincidence. But you're the exception to that. Without you, there really wouldn't be a me. It's hard to describe what you are to me now, but I will one day. I already have, but you'll learn it eventually."

"Is it romantic?" Iris asked quietly. "Is that...where I'm heading?"

"Does that bother you?" He asked, voice equally as quiet.

Iris shook her head, nuzzling it further into his shoulder. "No," she admitted softly. "I'm not ready yet, but...if that's where I'm going, that's alright with me."

The Doctor wrapped an arm around her waist and tugged her closer, resting his head on hers.

"Patience, Holloway," he said gently. "It's worth it."

And somehow, she knew that was true.

short and sweet and super fluffy. ik he's a bit OOC-seeming here, but everything will make sense eventually. remember that he's known iris literally since RIGHT after the time war and so it's been 2000+ years of knowing her, even if she's only just meeting him. he's bound to be a little softer when she's struggling. we'll get our sassy spicy grump back in the next 12 chapter hehe

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