I made my way through the dark apartment and found the couch. What was going on at this hour that wouldn't allow me to sleep? Whatever it was it was intense, and I wasn't able to ignore it. The rain could be heard smacking into the concrete and agai...
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(Frank Holmes the therapist 💕)
Khi
"Mr. Khion Thomas, how have you been?" The therapist, who's name is Frank by the way. I don't think I ever mentioned that.
"Surviving." I smile.
"You've grown into quite the," he clears his throat. "Man."
I smirk. "Good to see you to Frank."
"A lot has changed. You are out now, you have a family." He smiles and I forgot how attractive he was. (He's grown man fine.)
"Yes, I have fully come into myself."
"But not without bumps in the road." He puts on his glasses.
"Certainly not. Can't have the beautiful beginning without the fucked up start."
"No, in some cases we cannot." He placed his right leg over the left.
"I know I should of been here sooner. I know, but I was more concerned with Cario than myself and the other part, I was just-"
"Running."
I look up at him. "Yeah."
"You always ran. You did it with the Chace situation and then with your own situation."
"Running was easier. Well, it was at first." I admit.
"Until you found yourself running directly back into your same problem. It's a bit of a loop." He squints his eyes.
"Yeah. That's where I find myself, back at what I so desperately want to leave behind. Sometimes it's like a rope is tied to me. Someone's feeding it, so I can get just far enough. Then they pull me back."
"Ton."
"Even, just his name." I take a sip of water. "It's like I feel his hands around my throat." My eyes start to sting as the tears approach. "His mouth on mine, his tongue..." I close my eyes.
"What do you believe is the most-"
"That I enjoyed it." I shake my head. "That, I nutted, countless times." I rub my hands up and down my thighs. "That's the part I absolutely hate. I don't say anything but sometimes when I'm fucking...I-I think of him." I wipe my eyes.
"Khion, you understand this is more common than you realize. Often times the abused have stated that they enjoyed it. It's difficult to process because usually the mind and body are interconnected with intercourse. In sexual abuse cases, that is not true." He leans forward. "The body takes on a mind of its own."
"I get that and I've heard people try to explain it. Still, it's interfering with my ability to just be with my nigga in that very special moment. I don't wanna see someone else's face, or hear their voice when my man inside of me." I leaned back on the couch.
