(1) Aftermath (S. Salvatore)

Chapter Four

Rory stands in the cemetery close to her family plots. This is as close as she has managed to get herself. She knows this was the plan, to sit and talk to Ryker about what she felt at the Grill, but actually going through with it is another thing. She was feeling good about it until she got to the cemetery. Until the row of family headstones was in front of her. Because seeing them lined up like that, is a gut punch of reality. Reminding her that five members of her family have died in such a short span of time. A reminder of everyone that she's lost. She wants so badly to talk to him, but this pit in her stomach is making it difficult for her to move any closer to his stone. She wishes she was brave enough to face her grief. Ryker would have been. But she has no one else to talk to about what she feels. She takes a deep breath and then pushes forward towards Ryker's grave. She has to push through it and get over herself if she wants to talk about this. She has to start pushing forward on all of this. Or she'll be stuck feeling this way forever.

"Sorry it took me so long" She admits as she sits on the ground in front of the gravestone. Her eyes shiftto the one for her mother next to him and Severus on her other side. She hasn't been here since they were buried. And every day that she put it off, she felt worse about it. Like she was abandoning them somehow. She takes a deep breath and relaxes slightly feeling, almost, a hand on her shoulder. Squeezing softly. There is no one there but she wants to believe. She wants to believe that Ryker or Severus or Neva is standing there and trying to comfort her. It doesn't work. She lowers her head, her jaw trembling as tears gather in her eyes before she sobs loudly. Letting it crash over her. She will let herself feel this for a moment. But it's never that simple.

.....

Later, Rory's tears have dried, but her eyes are red and puffy. She takes a deep breath as she calms herself down. She's been here long enough now. She's worked through the moment. She's not ready to fully go back to who she was before, but she can try to move past the grief. Otherwise, she really is going to be stuck this way. She takes a deep breath and then pushes herself to her feet. She is not going to get any answers from the dead. Whatever happened at the Grill, she will likely find the answers she seeks in her books. She places her hand on the top of the tombstone and then pats it.

"I won't leave it so long next time" She promises and then turns, walking away. She won't leave it so long. She's done it once, doing it again will be easy.

....

At home, Rory shrugs out of her jacket as she enters her mother's study. If she is going to find answers, then it will be among her parent's literature collection. All the books that her mother had, all the books that Rory brought back from Spinner's End. It is an extensive collection. She drops her jacket onto the armchair in the corner before she crosses the room to stand in front of the floor-to-ceiling bookshelves. She folds her hands behind her back, her eyes flicker across the spines to read the titles. There has to be something here that can help her figure out what she felt at the Grill. A dark cloud like that has to have an explanation. She lets out a breath and closes her eyes, trying to remember back to her school days. Trying to remember which book might give her answers. She takes a deep breath and opens her eyes before she moves, grabbing a book from the shelf. Mysterious Magical Phenomenons. And then moves along the shelf, looking up at the higher shelf before she holds out her hand. A book slides from the shelf and into her hand. Dark Auras. Those two books are a start. She sits on the rug in the centre of the room, folding her legs under herself. Queenie curls into her side as she opens up the first book to get started. It is giving her something to focus on. Something to set her mind to. And maybe that is what she has been missing. Something to focus on. Her school years were filled with routine and classes to keep her busy, and then everything else that happened. She barely rested. Barely had time to think some years. And now, it is too peaceful. Seven years of a very unpredictable structure, but a structure all the same. She has absolutely nothing like that now. Life in Mystic Falls is considerably more boring. There are no dark wizards. No threats to her life and existence. It is just....boring. She regrets not going back to Hogwarts to actually finish her final year. She regrets not following Harry and Ron to the Aurors. She regrets doing nothing. She regrets following death home.