INTJ Dad's Observation Diary of His Daughter

[#30] Why Do We Say "No Touching?"

Dad's Diary

When my daughter was about 6 years and 6 months old, we decided to visit the beach over the weekend. We live fairly close to the sea, so it was a nice escape. From a young age, she had been scared of the waves. This time, she bravely sat at the edge of the water, but as soon as the waves got closer, she would quickly run away.

Unlike other boys who might recklessly run into the water, I never had to worry about her being swept away by the waves. Her cautious nature made it easy for me to keep an eye on her, ensuring her safety.

The next day, we went to a nearby park to look at the flowers. As we walked around, my daughter sniffed the flowers and told her mom that she smelled like a pink cosmos flower. Then she looked at me and said I smelled like the color brown.

I wondered what she meant by that. Did she think I smelled unpleasant? But then I thought, maybe she was being poetic. Brown could mean the sweet smell of chocolate, right?

What My Little Princess Taught Me

In the classic Chinese text "The Great Learning," there's a concept called "Zhizhi," which means knowing where to be and where to stop. When we tell a baby "no touching" or "no go," we're teaching them where they shouldn't be and what they shouldn't do. (In Korean, we tell babies "Zhizhi" to warn them about dirty or dangerous things.)

The great merchant Im Sang-ok used a "gyeyongbae," a special cup that would spill if filled more than 70% to curb his greed. Babies naturally know their limits. When we say "no," they listen and avoid danger. But as we grow older, we often forget to recognize our boundaries and limits.

As adults, we sometimes ignore the point where we should stop, even when we know it could lead to loss. The lesson of "no touching" or "no go" is not just for toddlers; it's a lesson we need to remember as we grow older. It's about knowing our place and recognizing when enough is enough.

My daughter's cautious nature reminds me of this valuable lesson. Teaching her to understand and respect her limits will help her grow into a wise and mindful adult. And it's a reminder for me, too, to always be aware of where I should be and when I should stop.