The Winner

Don't You Worry

*Nate*

The evening was uneventful. 

I was able to finally keep soft food down without an issue. Jules ate well and then went back to into my bedroom to hide away while Trisha was here, which she seems to do often now, feeling uncomfortable. 

I don't blame her  because Trisha doesn't give her the time of day but I also don't blame Trish either. They are two completely different people and Trisha isn't one known to have patience when it comes to  emotional struggles. She's good with me, of course, but we've known each other since we were teens. Other people's emotional baggage is of no interest to her. She's too headstrong to try to understand people if they aren't the same as her. Trisha is tough. Whereas Jules is overemotional, sensitive and is always  trying to please. She's like Cara. She feels things deeply. She's not strong like Trisha. Like Cara, she takes everything to heart and is sometimes that of a child, even though she is older than us. So when Trish doesn't give her the time of day, she's hurt by it. Trisha was the same way with Cara for a long time as well. We've had MANY fights over it throughout the years. She can't wrap her brain around how someone can struggle emotionally so much they fall into a deep depression. To her it's not productive and a waste of her time. She doesn't realize that most of the time, the person can't control it due to mental illness. She's come around with Cara and I think she will come around with Jules too. Maybe. If only she had a little more sensitivity like Julia and Cara and they had a little more toughness to them like Trisha, they'd make the perfect person.

Tonight Trisha kept busy talking my ear off on what's happening with the production team while they waited for me to get back to normal.

And Paul was Paul. I still think there's something between the two of them. They will slip up one of these days but until then, they both deny there's something there. I'm interested to see how that plays out.

Jonah spent most of the evening helping me get through another wave of symptoms. I did good most of the afternoon, thanks to my distraction... but the minute Julia went back into hibernation mode I went back to obsessing about things I want and can't have. Once again, looking for my keys that Trisha hid, and having a minor meltdown. To the point Trish was fed up and left. Like James, she just removed herself from the situation all together. Tonight, letting it fall on Jonah to take care of me. He eventually gave me a sedative, and within twenty minutes, I was starting to feel normal.

I understand how Jules became addicted to this drug... this calmness. Her addiction isn't her fault. She didn't choose to go on a prescription... she had to for her mental well-being at the time. I chose to drink and ruin my body. No doctor handed me a prescription of whiskey and told me it was healthy and ok to take.

 The Ativan ended up knocking me out, and I fell asleep on the couch watching TV for a few hours. Jonah didn't bother waking me up and went to bed. Paul must have, too. I head to my room, being extra quiet, knowing Julia is sleeping by now.

When I open the door, I see Jules curled up in her ball, but crying.

She had another nightmare, and no one was in here to hear it.

"Hey... Are you ok in here?" I ask groggily and walk over to my bed. I sit down on my side, but don't go near her in case she's not awake yet, trying to use the technique James and Jonah use.

"I'm fine. Get some rest." Julia sniffs and flops to her other side to face away from me. 

"Another nightmare?" I lay down on the mattress and put my hands behind my head.

"No, I haven't fallen asleep yet." She mumbles. I turn my head to look at my clock. It's two in the morning, and she still hasn't fallen asleep?

"What's the matter, Jules?" I painfully flip to my side and spoon her, resting my head in the crook of her neck.