A Blue Reality

A Second Chance

~

The next couple of weeks went by without much of anything happening.

Little happened the next two weeks, and there was nothing Alina noticed to be exciting that went on. There was no news or anything concerning the survey (that she knew of), and she thought, during that time, the days went by far too slow. Excruciatingly slow.

Alina fell into a monotone routine of sorts, anxiously waiting to hear about the survey. She found it very difficult not to spend her time worrying or biting her fingernails (metaphorically speaking) over it. She was nervous and impatience to know what had become of her little survey.

As they wanted in their letter, Alina had answered each question to the best of her ability. A few of them, as they'd warned about, stumped her. She had to take an extra second to throughly consider her responses, wanting to be as sincere as possible. As she did so, she also had to be careful not to tigger herself into any unwanted feelings of upset and despair.

When she came to the question asking she provide her legal guardians (being only fifteen and a minor still) she wrote down Mr. Walker and Miss Jeanette's names. Her parents, she strongly believed, had forfeited their place as her guardians a long time ago. She just hoped neither Mr. Walker or Miss Jeanette would feel upset about it. If it caused them too much trouble, Alina would explain herself and why she'd put their names instead of her parents. They weren't her guardians, legally, but her advocates, to which she saw as being equivalent to being her guardians. She could only hope they'd understand. As for her parents, she could've cared less of what they thought of what she was doing.

The last question on the survey was open-ended. It asked her to share a little of why she was doing the survey and what she hoped to get from it. For a few minutes, she had to think of what to say.

This is what she wrote:

I was advised and encouraged to do this survey by two people who care very much about me. These people are Mr. Walker and Miss Jeanette, a teacher of mine and the school nurse here at Greenfield High (my legal "guardians"). They care about me deeply, and are concerned about my well-being. It was their shared concern that led me to this survey.

Their concern is valid. It comes from a growing worry of where I am currently in my life, and my current living predicament. I live in an environment I'm not happy in and wish to change. In this environment, this place I'm suppose to call home, I hear my parents constantly fight.

Almost every night, my parents fight and quarrel. They bicker over things that turn into full out brawls that shake the house. Before these fights start, they have a glass each of very cheap wine (or two) to help warm up. Then, they start at it, and I become invisible.

I don't sleep well because of them. Their fighting doesn't allow for peace and quiet. Sometimes, if I'm lucky, it will only last a few hours and I can somewhat decently sleep. However, oftentimes, that's not the case, and they won't stop until someone drives away into the early hours of morning. When I walk into school the next day, Mr. Walker sends me down to Miss Jeanette to recover the sleep I lost. I've visited her office more times than either of them are comfortable with. Their concern for me has reached a peak.

And, now, after another night of which I just described that is my life right now, they've finally had enough. I have, too. I'm tired of being invisible. I'm tired of hearing my family fight. I'm tired of a lot of things going wrong in my little world, and so are Mr. Walker and Miss Jeanette. They didn't need to think twice before they presented me with this survey, this opportunity to find something new and not feel so done with everything. This opportunity, we all hope, could help achieve something they believe I deserve and desperately need.