Dysfunctional ~ F.Hargreeves

35} Paradox Psychosis

"Ooooh," Jenna rubbed her hands together with a cocky smirk playing on her lips, "So we're going to a pub? Looks like you were still going at it even on missions then, huh Five?"
"What?" Luther asked, confused.
"I've said that I'm sorry, like, a thousand times, all right?" Five sighed, ignoring his brother, "But this was a nice break before killing the president."
"You two better be buying me a beer for doing this," Bill pointed his finger at Jenna and Five before holding the door open for them.
"Thank you, Bill," Jenna smiled politely.
"Yeah, thanks," Five absentmindedly replied.
All four of them stayed close to the entrance and peered around the bar, preparing to meet with the other Five.
"Well," Five gestured to the bar, "There I am."
"Man, I really do have bad taste," Jenna squinted at the older version of her husband with a grimace.
"Hey," Five held a hand to his chest like she stabbed him, "I'm not that ugly."

"Who cares about who's ugly or not?" Luther tried to get the couple back on the task at hand, "Why don't we just grab the briefcase and run?"
"Luther," Five responded, "I would never let that happen. We're trained to guard these briefcases with our lives."
"Right," Luther nodded along like he knew what was going on.
"Plus, it's the inherent paradox where this gets tricky. I'm endangering my existence just being in the room with myself."
"Huh- what do you mean?"
"Luther, try to keep up. If old me doesn't travel back to 2019 like he's supposed to, the whole thing unravels itself. I cease to exist. Jenna does too if her older self doesn't follow me through. You got me?"
"I get you," Luther replied with uncertainty.
"That was a reassuring tone there, Luther," Jenna muttered, sarcastically.

"Our best chance is to talk with him," Five continued, "To reason with him. He'll understand."
Jenna laughed, "What?" She giggled at the scowl Five shot her, "You are terrible to reason with; especially if it's with yourself. This is going to go horribly."
"Well," Five grabbed her shoulders, staring intently into her eyes, "I know myself better than... better than I know myself."
"I know you better than you know yourself and this-" Her face scrunched up as Five let go of one of her shoulders to scratch the back of his neck, "Are you itching already?"
"No, I'm not," He lied.
"Uh, you totally just scratched your neck. Stage two, my dear. And denial is stage one. You're fucked," She pulled herself from his hold and gave him a hopeful kiss ont he cheek.
"No, I'm fine, okay? Let's stay on task."
As soon as Five tried to make his way over to his other self, Luther stopped him, "Wait!"
"What?" Five shrugged his hand off of him.
"Maybe I should go first," He suggested.
"Why?"
"Well, you'll freak him out. Bumping into your own tiny doppelgänger? He will lose his shit. Just let me break the ice."
"Okay."
"Okay."

Luther left to start a conversation with the other Five, leaving Jenna, normal Five, and Bill leaning against the wall near the door.
"Jenna?" Five turned to his wife.
"Yes?" She glanced over at him.
"Maybe you shouldn't go near the other me," Five glared at the other version of himself from across the room.
"Why?"
"Well, I've though about it and I think he'll lose his fucking shit if he sees you. I know how I was feeling during this time, and I just think seeing you, especially young you, is going to set him off."
"Well, too bad because I'm going with you."
Five let out a loud sigh, knowing it wasn't worth fighting with her over. He made his way over to Luther and his older self as soon as Luther gave him a thumbs up, indicating he was ready. Jenna and Bill followed right behind him.

"Hey there, stranger," Five greeted himself with a wide, fake-ass smile.
Older Five's attention was stolen away once his eyes landed on Jenna standing behind his younger self. His brain couldn't figure out what it was seeing and that it must've been playing tricks on him.
"Jen?" He fumbled out, "Wha- what are you doing here? Why are you so young? What's going on?"
"Don't look at her, look at me, fuckface," Normal Five grabbed Jenna's hand and blocked his older self's view of her, "This one is mine, not yours. Now, let's get a table, shall we?"