Trigger Warnings : mentions of nightmare, closed-minded family, sexism, abuse.
Chan didn't know why his heart was so stubborn.
His mind wasn't better.
How did it get worse ?
Well, it was something logical in some way.
Minho had been so caring and understanding, no wonder his heart fell for him.
(But his heart had always been weak to people caring about him.)
It was surprising though. For his heart to be able to love an Alpha after everything he went through. He knew Changbin was an Alpha, but it was different with him. He knew the man for so long that he could trust him with his life.
But Minho was... new for him.
Kinda cute and kinda tsundere. He liked to threaten people he cared about and was always there when he felt one of them was feeling down. The way he teased them was mischievous but endearing. Chan couldn't say the opposite.
He didn't even want to think of Hyunjin and Felix, both Omegas so adorable he could die for. They were so kind and safe. It might be his Head Omega side that couldn't help but like their presences.
And Hyunjin and Seungmin boxing ? Really ? He'd tried so hard to not glance at them, but it was something he couldn't fight. Especially when both were sweating so prettily ? Who even sweat like this ? And they both we're so serious, just so endearing.
Well, he was sure it was just affection and adoration... right ?
He also needed to be careful around Changbin and Jisung, he's already too weak for them.
There was only Jeongin he didn't have a proper moment with. Jeongin also looked shyer than he thought around him. Was he because he was new ?
Chan really wanted to spend more time with him though.
Chan didn't know the exact reason, but well, it wasn't like any of them would love him in that way.
He stared at nothing in particular, nosing Hyunjin's back.
He remembered vaguely how he had asked Hyunjin to sleep with him for the night and he flushed in embarrassment as he recalled his stuttering ass and the fear of falling asleep to see his mother—
Chan bit his tongue hard, shutting his eyes tight and pressed himself more against the Omega, drowning himself in honey.
Why was it coming back now ?
He clenched his jaw before shifting to sit on the bed, cold sweat starting to take his back and the nausea made his heart weak.
He'd been trying so hard to forget her but now that he had one nightmare, it was back at full strength, the cage of the beast wide open to end him.
And he couldn't do anything about it.
He looked at Minho's bed and found it empty. He glanced back at Hyunjin completely passed out on the bed before shifting a bit to bring his bag closer and take his pills with his water bottle.
The only way for him to not think of her was by drowning himself in work and he'd gladly do that—
"Hyung ?"
— Chan choked for a second, earning a small snort from the younger who started rubbing his back in comfort, "You good ?"
The older coughed one last time as he nodded. He looked at Hyunjin with a smile, he hoped his face wasn't pale, "Got thirsty."
Hyunjin hummed before shivering, "Lay back hyung, it's cold," he whined, roughly yanking on his shirt and making Chan yelp as he toppled on the bed.
"Okay," he shifted himself to be comfortable before hugging the younger from behind, pressing his face against Hyunjin's back.
"You're so warm," Hyunjin murmured pleasantly, half asleep already and Chan grinned, "and tense. "
Chan stiffened more, "I'm fine, promise."
Hyunjin shifted to turn himself, raising an unimpressed eyebrow, but he softened, "Something's wrong ?"
The older looked away, denying it again, "No, nothing, I'm fine," he pressed his lips together to form a thin line while Hyunjin's eyes linger on his not so comfortable expression.
Hyunjin booped his nose before caressing his cheek, "Tell me," he whispered. His voice was kind of hoarse, which brought a sort of sexy tone to it.
Chan snorted followed by Hyunjin's giggle. "I just... I've been trying to stop thinking of something, but it does the opposite and now I'm thinking too much about it," he replied with tiredness, before letting out a weak chuckle, "it makes me feel sick."
Hyunjin hummed as he mused over his words, barely managing to not stare at Chan's lips, "Wouldn't it be better to talk about it ? To take whatever off your chest and be at peace ?" He asked honestly, "I'm not good with words, but I really think you should talk about it to someone, or better, a professional."
Chan grimaced before bringing Hyunjin closer to bury his face in the crook of his neck, "But I really don't want to."
Hyunjin tried to ignore the way Chan easily moved him, gosh his strength, passing his hands through his hair, "It's not something easy, but it really is worth it, and I know you know, hyung."
Chan whined, "Yeah, you're right," he smiled, "thank you Hyunjinie."
Hyunjin grinned, "No worries Hyung."
Since it was the week-end, Chan had his job at the library of the University to do. He got ready, showered and brushed his teeth, wore his clothes after telling Hyunjin to not check him out because he was shy, thankfully Hyunjin believed him, and took his bag to leave when Hyunjin finally decided to get ready for his own day.
He hugged the younger good-bye and wondered why Hyunjin's ears painted red before shrugging off and starting his day.
There weren't a lot of people coming in and Chan usually took the time to do his own assignment peacefully, helping a few students who clearly never went into a uni library, reserved a room to work or help students borrow books with the computer.
And something he noticed was how much he was meeting Seungmin now. The man came every week-end for a few hours to do his assignment or to simply read books, especially the manga section.
He also always passed by to say hi and then he'd go into one of the empty rooms he reserved to work on his studies.
(Endearing, really.)
But tonight he was with Jeongin and when their eyes met, the younger kind of froze and his ears burnt red before glaring at Seungmin who didn't even try to hide his chuckle.
Chan grinned, waving at them happily, "Hey," he called, not too loud but enough for the two men to hear him.
"Hey hyung," Seungmin replied with an innocent smile while Jeongin awkwardly stayed behind, "gonna do the usual."