Breaking Fate

Chapter 10

Rule number 10 of Space Exploration: Nothing is ever an accident, nothing is ever a coincidence.  No matter how hard it is to understand, you must know that everything happens for a reason.

- - - - -

"Alright my turn," he says with an undeniably charming grin. "Let's see... what's your favourite time of day?" I raise my eyebrows in surprise, I wasn't expecting this. He must see my expression because he laughs a little, "no seriously, what is it?" I think for a moment, "early morning. When the sky is just low in the sky and the world is quiet. It's so peaceful." He nods, "yeah that is nice isn't it. Want to know mine?" He continues before I can reply, "Sunset. It's so stunningly beautiful, the way it sets the entire sky on fire. I can't help feeling like it's a beginning and ending all at once."

We go back and forth, trading little pieces of ourselves with each other. I've never been able to choose the parts of myself I want to share with someone before, it's always been all of me -take it or leave it. I learn that he loves fireflies -the one thing that Earth and Ascetha have in common- breaking rules, running, swimming, and writing. "I'd love to read some of your writing, you sound like a very poetic person," I say with a smile. "Yeah you'd like it I bet. Too bad I don't have any of it with me." A grin slides across my face, "why don't you write something now?"

For a moment he looks unsure, but he seems to decide he has nothing to lose. "Alright. Well I write songs mostly, so lets give this a shot..." He takes a deep breath and starts to sing, his voice low and rough, "Another world, another start. A new-found girl caught in my heart. With eyes that dance and a soul so free. I think I've found my destiny. A night like this, a quick escape. Just hope that we are not too late. A new beginning full of light. Who knew the stars could shine this bright."

He finishes, glancing at me with what I can only place as vulnerability. I can't speak. I'm overcome with emotion, his voice rushing over me like nothing else ever has before. "It's beautiful," I say and I hope he knows there are a thousands things behind it, I just don't have the words to say. His eyes twinkle -brighter than the stars I swear.

We sit in silence for a while, watching the world move on without us. "Tell me something you've never told anyone before," he says quietly. I could tell him something safe -I'm afraid of owls, I only dream in colour, I want a tattoo on my ankle- or I could tell him something I've truly always kept secret.

I take a breath, "I'm terrified." He watches me in silence, waiting for me to continue. "Everyone always thinks I'm so brave. I'm not. I was scared to have my dad go to space, scared to go myself. I'm scared of all the secrets around me, scared of what they mean. And now... I'm scared of losing you." 

His eyes lock onto mine and he reaches for my hand. Our fingers intertwine, sending little bolts of lightning through my veins. I hold on to him like he is my lifeline. "Trust me Viera," he says softly, "I won't let you go that easy." We stay in silence for a moment and I do the best to collect myself, before I offer him a small smile. "So what's yours?" He looks thoughtful, "well you know my biggest secret, escaping from the rocket. And there's many others I hope to tell you, all in good time." 

He lays back on the ground, and I settle down beside him, resting my head on his chest. Slowly he strokes my hair, a comforting gesture I never had as a child. I feel unexplainably safe. We look up at the sky, for the first time taking in the vast display of stars above us. Even though the universe is my entire life, it still startles me every time I look at it head on.

"Doesn't it just amaze you? There's so much out there, we've barely scratched the surface of it all. It make you feel so small. I love it, I absolutely love it." His voice is soft, filled with wonder. "I've always loved it because it has a way of making everything you feel seem so unimportant. Like I'm just one person on this planet which is a speck in a universe so big we can't even fathom it. It can't help but put your problems in perspective."

I struggle to find a way of putting it into words, something I've never been good with. For some reason the mission has always been about science and discovery, never about the pure beauty. It's nice to be able to talk without knowing I'm being judged and tested. 

We take in the galaxies above us, feeling like maybe -just maybe- we actually have a shot at this. It isn't hard to dream when you're looking up at the biggest mystery to ever exist. "What's the very first memory can remember?" Zaire asks softly in the silence. I think back, flipping through memories like pages in the book of my life. I thought tugs at me, like the wisps of a dream you can't quite recall. I try to focus but it slips away, so I settle for the first solid memory I can remember.

"I must be about 6 or something. It's Christmas, the only day my dad takes off from work. We're going sledding -down this hill actually- I remember him racing me, both of us laughing. Mother helped me build a snowman, and then we went into this cute little café for hot chocolate." I smile remembering. This is the first -and quite possibly only- time I can remember us acting like a real family.

"That's the first thing you remember?" Zaire asks, disappointment ringing through his voice. He quickly recovers though, and wonder if maybe I imagined it. "You see that?" He asks, pointing up at the sky. He takes my hand in his, guiding my finger along the outline of a constellation. "That's the very first one I was ever taught." I trace it again with my eyes. "It's reassuring to know that no matter where we are, we'll always see the same stars." 

We fall silent, and I listen to the beat of his heart through his t-shirt. His breath rises and falls, creating a steady rhythm against my cheek. After what feels like eternity he finally speaks, so softly I can barely hear. "I've waited forever for this."