"OH MY GAMMIT ITS THE RAPTURE" Fred Sheeran said.
"What are we gonna do??" Macklesmore said.
"We have to stop it" Johnny Appleseed said.
"But how??" Edtchasketch said.
All of the sudden, Jenny got a vision. She—SORRY I DIDNT MEAN TO MISGENDER HIM— had never had visions before. This must be a power of his Sasquatch side.
He touched his fingers to each side of his head, to show he was having a vision.
What he could see almost made him piss his jorts. Mika and Tolerable Swift were MACKING OUT????????!7
That was it. That had to be what caused the rapture.
"I know what we must do," he said. "Vàmonos"
"How can we leave? There's a tsunami taking over the entire tri-state area!" Muppetmore said.
"Hmm" Jeremy gave it some thought, then decided to turn into a boat. "Hop in!"
His husbands jopped in and they rowed into town.
"So where ah we going?" Ebb and flow asked.
"Celebrity jail," Jopping said. "The source of the rapture"
They sailed the seven seas all the way to celebrity jail.
With his jacklesquatch strength, Janson busted down the door. And you might need to sit down for this because what was inside will have you quaking in your boots.
Nicetomisha and Tapeworm were rapturemaxxing.
The roof of the building was gone, and Tapir and Meepmeep were floating in the sky, sucking up the other inmates and the guards up into the sky with them. Their eyes were glowing, no—their whole bodies were glowing. So bright you could almost be blind.
"With our powers combined there's nothing we can't do!" Mevil said.
"Bring forth the new world!" Tamed squirrel said.
"MINKUS!" John (toilet) screamed up at him. "THIS ISN'T RIGHT! THIS ISN'T YOU!"
"Don't listen to him, babe. We can destroy this world and rebuild it with our own hands. A world where we aren't held accountable for our actions, where everyone loves us, and worships us as their leaders! Don't let these civilians brainwash you!" Tiger said.
"This isn't your haht Taylour!" End screamed.
"Well we're not going down without a fight" Taynger danger said.
"Foine, then let's fight" Edd said.
But when Eddd and Macklesdmore tried to activate their powers, they were dull!
"Those knuckleheads dulled our powers!" Matchstick stomped his little footsie.
"Come on! That's not fair!" Jargon yelled.
"Well it's about to get even unfairer-er" Mitchi said.
In that moment, Jockstrap watched his beloved hubbies get sucked good and hard up into the sky with the rest.
"Let them go!" he screamed.
"Make me" Miffy said.
"I SAID LET THEM GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Jugular roared, his body grotesquely transforming into the horrifying bigfoot beast that dwelled inside of him.
Mamushka was quaking in his boots. His powers were no match for that of a Jacklesquatch. Surely, this is how he would die.
But Jacklesquatch didn't kill him. No—he KISSED him.
With their lips together, Jansen transformed back into his human form, and the two floated together in the air. Then everyone returned to the ground. Just like Jonas suspected, the kiss stopped the rapture.
Everyone was speeches.
"Hubbies! I did it! I stopped the rapture!" Joaquin smiled sweetly.
"Erm do yew have any freaking idea wotchu just did??" Red (with anger) said.
"I know, but it was the only way to jop it!" Joppingsen said.
"I'm sure there was some other way," Mackamore said. "I think you just wanted to kiss him"
"N-no! Sweetiepees! Wait!" Jenshart dropped to his knees as his hubbies walked away.
The kiss meant nothing to him! It was just to save the world! How was he going to make his men believe him?
Find out next time....
Snoopy continued
