Not Good Enough Monologue.

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Since the moment I was born, I was used to getting everything I wanted. 

What I wanted weren't toys or clothes, but rather praise and affection. My parents loved me, my grandfather spoiled me, and my classmates adored me.

I have always been used to every boy crushing over me, adoring me, loving me. But when my skills are needed most, they vanish. Like a see-through image.

Ayanokouji Kiyotaka, the boy I love, hasn't fallen for my charms. It stings, you know, like a red-hot poker being stabbed through my heart.

I'm smart, I'm pretty, so why isn't he interested?

That is what I thought until recently. When confronted with my failures, and mistakes I came to a realization.

I'm not good enough for him. I'm not smart enough to impress him, I'm not pretty enough to swoon him, and not charming enough to seduce him.

If you compared Kushida Kikyo to Ichinose Honami, what are the differences between the two?

The girl Ichinose Honami is kind, beautiful, smart, and athletic. Kushida Kikyo claims to be kind, beautiful, smart, and athletic, but all of that is a creative lie that she weaves.

I am such a liar that I managed to trick myself into believing I was the best, but I'm not even close to the best. My actions have been rash and stupid, for no purpose. Why did I even make a deal with Koenji?

To deal with a threat that may or may not exist? I'm stupid. I'm not good enough for Kiyotaka. He could never fall for me.

But I need to be good enough. How does one swoon the person they love?

Well first, you must know their interests. 

That may seem impossible, but for someone like me, I've already put the measures in place. 

But this isn't over. I won't lose my resolve to one setback. I'll become better, I'll become good enough for him.

This wasn't my first defeat, but the one that hurt the most. I can learn from this lesson just as I learned from the other one.

I will become exactly what Kiyotaka needs me to be, no matter what the cost.

I will win him as the prize for my hard work.

Trying to impress him won't help me though. Jumping the gun and attacking everyone I hate won't help me.

Using my special tools, I'll figure out what he cherishes most and take advantage of it. It's only a matter of time...






Author: Dora says, "can you say Skibidi Toilet Rizz in Weeb?" Have a great day and see you next time I update!

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