The Scars That Broke Her

Chapter 15

To say I was exhausted would be an understatement. I spent most of the night tossing and turning replaying the events with Eli in my mind. No matter what I did, I just couldn't calm down. I was shocked that he had the audacity to touch me like that. It felt so...demoralizing.

Tears filled my pillow not allowing any sleep to come. When the sun finally came up, my mood had not shifted one bit. Except now, the shock has finally sunk in. Now I was just angry. At everything.  It seemed like no matter what I did, I could never catch a break. It was exhausting always being on the defensive.

Despite the pain in my cheek, I was surprised to find that Eli's hand only left a redness on my skin. It was enough that I could hide with a bit of concealer. It was my wrist that I was a little worried about.

Hidden beneath my long sleeve shirt was the outline of a hand. Eli's fingertips had left a deep bruise and there was a tenderness that made me hiss in pain every time I moved it. It nearly brought tears to my eyes when I rammed it into the door this morning on my way out of the house. Those problems, however, were minor. They were easy to hide. My swollen eyes were not. Make up doesn't do shit when your eyes look like they have been stung by a thousand wasps.

When did you become such a stuck-up bitch. Eli's words circled my mind. I groaned, slouching my head against the wooden table in the library.

Was I?

Usually, I was good at ignoring people's thoughts. I was good about not caring. But maybe Eli was right. Maybe I had become a bitch. My pencil trailed across the blank piece of paper that lay in front of me, creating light little loops. Over and over, my pencil swerved in a pattern that was rhythmic. It was soothing. It was calming. It made me realize just how tired I was.

  I need a nap.

"Noa? You good?" Callan's voice asked coming up behind me.

My eyes followed Callan as he sat down at the table across from me. He watched me carefully and I could see the confusion flash through his eyes as he questioned my position on the table. That coupled with the black sunglasses I chose to hide my swollen eyes, and I was sure I was a sight to see. I heaved a sigh, pulling myself off the table and leaned back in my chair. Feeling the absence of my pencil, my fingers immediately pulled at my rubber band.

I needed a distraction. Something to distract my brain from the thoughts racing inside. I couldn't stop hearing Eli's furious voice yelling at me. I couldn't stop seeing his eye's stone cold and emotionless, like I meant nothing to him. I know Eli cares about me. I know he loves me. He tells me all the time that he does.

So why do I feel like he doesn't?

"Noa." Callan's voice draws me out of my thoughts once again.

"Hmm?" I looked at his dark body through my sunglasses.

"Did you hear what I said?" He frowned slightly; concern slightly etched on his face.

I felt my cheeks flush. I didn't. I didn't even know he was talking. How long has he been here? I bit my lip, shaking my head once.

"Do you have any questions about the chem homework?" He asked, his eyes flickering over my appearance. He was analyzing me, like he always did. He was questioning everything I did, trying to find the deeper meaning. I hardened my expression; I didn't need him analyzing me today. I didn't need to see the judgement flash through his eyes once again. I didn't need to hear his opinions on my problems.

I sighed, flipping a page in my notebook, revealing the homework that I attempted...well revealing the homework that I half-assed and gave up doing after the first question. Callan reached for my notebook. His frown deepened as he looked over my work, not that there was much of it, then looked back to me. I could tell he was at a loss for words, which doesn't happen to Callan much. The way his eyes kept flickering over my page told me he was trying to decide what to say.