Hearts Of Mutants

Part 5

A month had passed since my conversation with Scott, and things hadn't gotten any easier. If anything, the tension around the mansion had grown thicker, more awkward. Logan and Jean were still very much a couple, and while they weren't flaunting it, the way they moved around each other—intimate, comfortable—was impossible to ignore.

It was like living in the shadow of a storm, knowing it was only a matter of time before everything came crashing down.

Scott had retreated even further and further into his own bubble. The cracks that had started to show in him were now wide and gaping, but he kept trying to patch them up with work, burying himself in responsibilities to avoid dealing with the pain. I'd catch glimpses of him now and then, always looking tired, always looking like the weight of the world was pressing down on his shoulders.

We still hung out, but there was a distance between us now that hadn't been there before. I tried to be there for him, to keep the connection we'd started building, but Scott wasn't letting anyone in anymore. 

It hurt, seeing him like this. It hurt even more knowing that there was nothing I could do to fix it.

One evening, after another long day of training, I found myself alone in the community room, absently flipping through channels on the TV without really watching anything. The mansion was unusually quiet, with most of the team out on various missions or held up in their rooms. It gave the place a kind of eerie emptiness that made the silence feel depressive.

I was just about to give up on finding anything decent to watch when the door creaked open behind me. I turned to see Scott standing in the doorway, looking like he hadn't slept in days.

"Hey," I said softly, turning off the TV. "You okay?"

Scott shrugged, his expression unreadable. "I just needed to get out of my room for a bit. Thought I'd see what you were up to."

I patted the spot on the couch next to me, and after a moment's hesitation, he walked over and sat down. We sat in silence for a while, the only sound to be heard was occassional distant footsteps.

Finally, I couldn't take the quiet anymore. "Scott, we don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, but... you don't have to go through this alone. I'm here, okay?"

He didn't say anything at first, just stared at the floor, his hands clasped tightly in his lap. Then, after what felt like an eternity, he let out a long, shaky breath. "I thought I could handle it, you know? I thought I could be strong enough to get through this. But every time I see them together..."

His voice trailed off, and he shook his head, his jaw clenched. Even though I couldn't see the pain in his eyes I could sense it.

"I know," I said quietly. "It's not fair."

"It's not just that," Scott continued, his voice strained. "It's everything. I've lost Jean before, but this... it's different. It's like she's still here, but she's not mine anymore. She's with him, and I'm... I'm just..."

"Alone," I finished for him.

Scott looked at me then, and the raw pain in his eyes nearly broke my heart. "Yeah. Alone."

I reached out, placing a hand on his arm, offering what little comfort I could. "You're not alone, Scott. You've still got me. We're in this together, remember?"

For a moment, he looked like he might say something more, but then the door to the community room swung open again, and we both turned to see Logan and Jean walk in, their hands intertwined. They stopped short when they saw us, the easy smiles they'd been sharing fading into awkward tension.

"Sorry, we didn't mean to interrupt," Jean said, her voice a little too bright, a little too forced.

"It's fine," Scott said quickly, standing up and taking a step back from me. The wall was back up, that unbreakable barrier he'd built around himself to keep everyone out like a force-field.

Logan's eyes flicked between Scott and me, his expression unreadable. He didn't say anything, but there was something in his gaze that made me feel exposed, like he knew exactly what had just been happening between Scott and me.

Jean, on the other hand, seemed oblivious to the undercurrents in the room. She walked over to the couch, pulling Logan with her. "We were just looking for a place to relax," she said, smiling at Scott. "Join us?"

Scott hesitated, for a long painful moment. Then he shook his head, the mask of control slipping back into place. "No, I think I'll call it a night."

Jean's smile faltered, and she reached out to him, her hand hovering just above his arm before she pulled back. "Scott, wait..."

But Scott was already heading for the door, his back stiff, his steps quick. "I'll see you all tomorrow," he said over his shoulder, not looking back.

The door closed behind him with a soft click, leaving me alone with Logan and Jean. The room felt colder, the air thick with everything unsaid.

Jean sank down onto the couch, her expression pained. "I didn't mean to drive him away," she said softly, more to herself than to me.

Logan sat beside her, his hand resting on her knee, his gaze still on the door. "It's gonna take time," he said gruffly. "He'll come around."

I didn't believe that. Not for a second. Scott was too hurt, too angry, and I knew him well enough to know that he wasn't going to just get over this.

But I didn't say anything. Instead, I just stood up, forcing a smile as I looked at the two of them. "I think I'm gonna head out too. You two enjoy your night."

Logan nodded, but Jean looked up at me, her eyes filled with something that looked like guilt. "Rogue, I... I'm sorry."

I shrugged, trying to make it seem like I didn't care as much as I did. "It's okay, Jean. It is what it is."

But it wasn't okay. Nothing about this was okay. As I left the room, I couldn't shake the feeling that things were only going to get worse before they got better—if they ever got better at all.