Amid Your Shallows (El Frioguerre Series #1)

14. Samuela

Chapter 14

Burn

I still can't process it all.

He was in his Philippine Navy uniform, lips in a grim line, eyes were a killer, prepared for battle.

Benjamin Madridejos.
May 24, 1947 – August 27, 2021

Jude was in Bangkok when Tatay Emie died in cardiac arrest. We were informed that Jude was taking care of all the requirements for Tatay to go with him.

He only had a week to finalize everything then he'll come back to Thailand, kaya hindi na nagkaroon pa ng wake for Tatay Emie.

Kaunti pa lamang ang tao nang dumating kami sa sementeryo. Hindi na ako nag-abala pang tanggalin ang aking shades dahil damang-dama ko ang pamamaga nito.

"Here..." si Echo, guiding me to where my parent was seated.

"Thank you, Echo. Will you watch my Dad for me, please?" I asked softly.

Nagtagal ang titig niya sa akin bago iyon nagbuntong hininga.

"Ikaw? May kailangan ka–"

"Baby..."

Parehong dumapo ang atensyon namin sa aking gilid. My eyes darted on the bottled water he's holding kaya nilingon ko si Echo.

He was tightly clenching his jaw, which I think one of his mannerisms. Hindi ko pinansin iyon at nginitian siya.

"I'm fine, Echo. Salamat talaga."

Umiling iyon. "Walang problema. Sa loob lang ako kapag may kailangan kayo."

Magkakatabi kaming pamilya sa pangalawang row. When we saw Jude entered the tent, tumayo si Dad. And as a sign of respect, tumayo na rin ako.

I don't know how to approach him. After what happened, hindi na kami nag-usap at nagkita pa. Ito ang unang beses na magkikita kami simula noong umalis ako.

"How are you, hijo? Nakapagpahinga ka ba?" si Dad iyon at bahagyang hinaplos ang kanyang balikat.

"Ayos lang po ako," he said in his flat tone. "Kumain na po ba kayo?"

I gazed at Jude. He's... a different man now. I know it. I can sense it. Not only because he got taller and bulkier, but the way he looks at my parent, the way his dull eyes linger... Where did my best friend go? What happened to him?

A part of me is upset about how he was deeply affected by Ate's death. But I am more upset with myself because I can't seem to empathize with the way he carries the remorse of her passing. I want to understand him, but I can't.

I accepted Ate Ruth's death long ago. I always knew death is something we can't escape, it is inevitable. What keeps me from freeing myself from the grief was... her peace. The instant I knew that God allowed her to have Rafael in her life... I was at ease.

Right now, I pray nothing but for Jude's restoration. I want him to come back. The caring, loving, and thoughtful Jude. The one who doesn't hide his smiles from me.

"May I excuse Samuela for a while?"

Nawala ang atensyon ko sa paglilibingan ni Tatay nang marinig iyon. My head flew back to them and my shock was obvious.

I swallowed hard when their attention were fixated on me, waiting for my word. I tried to formulate some, but I was unable to produce anything.

Kaya nang tapikin ni Dad ang balikat ni Jude ay hindi na ako nagsalita pa at sinundan na lamang siya.

I squeezed Davis' hand when he didn't let go. "I'll be right back."

I followed Jude's long strides toward a seemingly parking space. I took off my shades dahil madilim na roon.