Tina
We napped a bit(a bit is 5 hours) and now it was 19:23. I sighed,Billie was watching reels and started laughing watching one of them.
"look" she showed me a silly video of a cat,I smiled,she smirked, "that's not the right reaction" and straddled me,I laughed.
"yeah?and what are you gon- Billie!" She started tickling me,I laughed uncontrollably "stop you idiot!" she shaked her head with a smirk and stopped eventually. "bitch"
"want round two?" she glowered.
"fuck you babygirl" I smiled and just when she tried to straddle me I got up, "we gotta get ready,we're leaving soon" I ran off in the closet.
"Tina,no running! how many times do I have tell you that?" she groaned and followed me in the closet.
I opened my suitcase and began walking around the room nervously collecting everything from all over the room for both of us,cuz apparently Billie didn't wanna pack.
"Billie! Have you seen my charger? I can't find it anywhere" I screamed from the closet,Billie was on the bed scrolling through tiktok.
"no,I haven't" she said,I sighed. "dont worry babygirl I'll buy you a new one,just hurry! it's 22:03!"
"well you could've helped me if we're running late" I snorted.
I zipped both suitcases and and lifted them up. "I'm done! come here and take your suitcase Billie" I walked in the room,she looked at me and huffed laying on the bed.
"I don't wanna go" she got up slowly and walked up to me. "can I get a kiss?" she looked at me with puppy eyes.
I smirked. "nope" my smirk dropped and I furrowed."unless you hurry the fuck up,take your suitcase and leave with me,everybody's waiting for us" I said sternly and left the room.
I felt bad for being aggresive. I was just not in the mood at the moment cause I had an argument with my mom over me being on a long tour. I bet she doesn't even care,she just needs to snap out on somebody and it always ends up to be me.
Billie came out in a minute and we walked up to the crew and billie's family,they were waiting for us once again.
"is that a tradition now always being late?" Finneas looked at both of us and laughed. "Billie,you have the coolest hairstyle I've ever seen and your shoes Tina are so..hilarious" he said sarcastically.
I looked down and gasped,i was wearing the thin hotel slippers. Billie looked at her hair on her camera and groaned,her hair looked like she's gone out in the wind with wet hair,it was crazy.
We all laughed after a minute of awkward silence.
"okay,let's go now" Billie grabbed my hand,intertwined our fingers and whispered with a soft,sad voice. "are you still mad at me,baby?"
I smiled feeling guilty. "I never was mad at you Billie,I just wasn't in the mood and you were being a little lazy ass bitch"
she grinned. "can I get a kiss now?"
"not in here babygirl,not in here" I whispered,she pouted,I chuckled at her reaction and squeezed her hand. She looked cute.
We got in the rented bus. Billie almost immediately fell asleep head on my shoulder once we drove off. I was playing "dress to impress" on my phone, when I heard a familiar voice.
"that's an ugly outfit babygirl.." Billie said out of nowhere,I flinched because I thought she was sleeping.
"dude you scared me" I huffed.
"dude?" she frowned and pouted. "you don't wanna kiss me and I'm your dude now,huh?" she looked away at the window.
I laughed,"billieeee,it's not that I don't wanna kiss you,i promise you that's all I want right now,but you don't want your family or crew to find out about our.." I paused and looked her in the eyes,she looked down,my heart sank. "..friendship with benefits" I finished in one breath and got up to get some air.
"where are you going?" she squeezed my hand and didn't wanna let me go.
"I'll go in the back,there's an open area there i need some fresh air" i said and got out of her grip,she didn't follow me,she sensed that I needed time to think and so did she.
That scared me to be honest. The fact that we need to think and that we argue so much. This wasn't an arguement or anything at all,but we both were hurt.
I got in the back it was a small room with a couch and a big open window in front of it,you could feel the strong,cool wind once you got in. I sat down on the couch.
I like Billie and I can't deny that. But I feel like my feelings are way stronger than just "liking",I loved her. That scared me,the relationship between the two of us scared me. I don't understand her and honestly I'm not sure if I get myself and my feelings fully either. Everything I can think about is Billie,all the time,all day,it's Billie. It's like she's stuck in my head and heart,that made me feel both happy and frightened. And it's not related to the way Billie is or anything,I just have big experience in toxic relationship.
My 2 exes both were very possessive and aggressive, they made me feel unsafe,they could yell at me for nothing,start ghosting me out of nowhere and they could even hit me occasionally.
After breaking up with my last ex,I couldn't get myself to start socializing again,because I forgot how to. We dated for a year and all that year I couldn't talk to anybody but her because if I would talk to somebody I would get me in trouble. I spent a year and a half just adapting to living without her and being free. I lost my trust,I started pushing everybody that tried to show me love away because I compared them to her and saw her in everybody.
But strangely,it was different with Billie,she made me feel more loved and appreciated in a week than my ex in a year. That's why I feel like I can trust Bil-
The door suddenly. "hey,just wanted to check on you and ah tell you that we're getting close to the airport" she said awkwardly before getting in and closing the door behind her. "are you okay?" she sat down next to me and took my hand in hers,squeezing it in a comforting way.
"do you think we could be together?" I asked out of nowhere.
She sighed and was silent for a minute,anxiety took over me. "yeah" she put her other hand on our intertwined hands and looked me in the eyes. "we will be together,I just need time,okay?don't think about it too much just know,that I love you and I appreciate you a lot,you're not just a want anymore you're a need Tina,don't forget that" she pecked me on the lips.
i smiled weakly, "I..I love you too Billie" and kissed her. I felt her smirk in the kiss. The kiss got heated,Billie straddled me not stopping the kiss. She pulled away for a moment, "you taste so fucking good baby" and kissed me again. She put her hands under my shirt while I was rubbing her back. And that's when the door cracked open and our instinctive reaction was freezing.
