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How to use Instagram: A 101 Guide

Step 1: Download the app. Duh.

Step 2: Create an account. Choose a witty username. Select a profile picture.

Step 3: Start following people. Celebrities, influencers, old classmates, and maybe even your enemy.

Step 4: Scroll, scroll, scroll. Consume those mind-numbing reels. Like, comment, and share. Be an active member of the Instasphere.

Step 5: Explore new things. Follow pages related to your interests. Find some dank memes to get your daily dose of humor. Discover accounts that make you question humanity's existence.

Step 6: Be judgy. Stalk people's profiles. Judge their lives based on their pictures and captions. Make assumptions about their personalities, beliefs, and values. After all, it's all about making snap judgments based on a few pixels on a screen, right?

Step 7: Interact. Slide into those DMs. Start pointless conversations with strangers. Waste hours of your life debating about topics you don't actually care about. The internet is a breeding ground for virtual socializing with zero accountability.

Step 8: Take the perfect selfie. Spend hours trying to get the perfect angle, the perfect lighting, the perfect pose. Because if you don't look good on Instagram, did you even exist in the first place?

Step 9: Experience FOMO. See all your friends having a great time at parties, festivals, and vacations. Question your own life choices and spiral into a pit of despair because you're not living your best life like everyone else on Instagram.

Step 10: Seek validation. Refresh the app every two minutes, hoping for likes and comments. Become addicted to the little dopamine rush you get from a heart emoji or a fire emoji. Let your self-worth be determined by the numbers on your screen. Hooray for digital validation!

And there you have it: the comprehensive guide to using Instagram. May your life be filled with meaningless interactions, fake smiles, and digital approval-seeking. Happy scrolling!

Of course, that wasn't written in the article. But that was what I understood.

My limbs felt like jelly as the phone plopped down on my face, as if they had been replaced with limp noodles. Every muscle ached, every joint groaned in protest. I felt like I had been through a marathon, but instead of running races, I had been doing squats, lunges, and burpees. Thanks a lot, little devil.

I groaned as I shifted positions, trying to find a comfortable spot. The couch offered little relief to my weary frame. My head felt like it was filled with sawdust, my brain foggy and sluggish. I just wanted to lie there and turn into a puddle of exhaustion.

But of course, I had school.

And as much as I wanted to wallow in the exhaustion and soreness, I had to get up and drag myself to school. Because despite feeling like I had been hit by a bus, I still had classes to attend.

I groaned again, rolling off the sofa and slowly sitting up. My limbs protested vehemently, each move feeling like an uphill battle. I was tempted to just skip school and stay in bed all day, but I knew that wasn't an option. I had to face the day, even if my body refused to cooperate.

Besides, I had to talk with Krish about Shreya. And I had to do it today, even if my mind was foggy and weary. School gossip doesn't wait for you to feel well-rested.

With a final sigh, I stood up, my legs wobbling beneath me like a newborn foal. I steadied myself, taking a few deep breaths to clear my fuzzy head. It was time to face the day, no matter how much I just wanted to curl up in bed and hibernate.