³KINGDOM COME. heroes of olympus

008.

KINGDOM COME
━━ chapter eight

━━ ABILENE DIDN'T KNOW how she was going to fall asleep—or if she would be able ever to fall asleep again. The fear of sleep had started before she had ever noticed it. She was scared of what Gaea would say this time; scared of what Gaea would show her this time. She was scared of sleep, but she was also scared of being around the others. She hadn't noticed that fear until she finally had a moment alone. She was even more confused about when that fear started. Was it when she finally admitted she was Gaea's daughter as she flew to Alaska? Was it when Gaea showed her a vision of her old home in Montana as she almost drowned in muskeg? Was it when Juno visited her when she was asleep, telling her that despite her trepidation, she was doing the right thing—fighting for the gods?

               She felt the fear had been there—the moment Jason Grace disappeared back in October. The fear was different then, she had different things to fear—what it meant that Jason Grace, newly-appointed praetor, was now missing; what it would mean for Reyna, who now had to burden the shoulder of a two-person job; what it meant for the safety of everyone that the son of Jupiter could go missing; fear of what was happening to Jason now that he was all on his own. Then the fear got worse when Percy Jackson, the son of Neptune, arrived, cradling the goddess Juno in his arms. Then the fear got worse when she learned that Thanatos had been captured, then worse when Frank was issued a quest, and then even worse after she agreed to go on the quest with Frank.

               And that's not even talking about the fear she felt when she started questioning everything she had known regarding who she thought was her mother. That fear was indescribable. She almost stopped feeling human; she felt more like a bad omen. The Romans considered Neptune ( and any child of his ) bad omens, but to be Gaea's daughter, Abilene was the bad omen. She was the demigod face of Gaea for the Romans; she was the walking, breathing, living reminder that the Earth Mother was back and that she wanted humanity under her earthly thumbs again.

               Abilene hadn't realized how much she shouldered that burden until she was alone. It wasn't like the others were burdening it with her. She didn't want them too, even if there was a slim chance they could—but they couldn't. Because she wouldn't let them, but also because they wouldn't understand. You can't wrap your mind around something you've never experienced. You can try, but you'll never really understand—and Abilene felt that was for the best. Her existence started to humanize Gaea, even though Abilene knew Gaea didn't care for her. Abilene was a pawn to Gaea; a chess piece she could bring to and forth across the board, making it do what she wanted.

               Despite knowing that very well, Abilene still felt a connection to Gaea. A connection she didn't want. It was something every demigod struggled with, this connection to your godly parent that you felt didn't treat you as a child. Despite the lack of parent-child interactions, you were put into this little box that your godly parent was in as well: Jupiter? You're a leader. Mars? You're a warrior. Mercury? You're a natural thief.

               But Gaea?

               It had never been seen before. And the new was always feared—and this one was feared for all the right reasons.

               The rug kept being pulled out from underneath her feet, for one reason or another. Abilene didn't know what other thing would become new. Would she learn that she wasn't even human? She wasn't even technically a demigod? Would she learn that Gaea knew Abilene wouldn't betray the gods, and so, has this whole other plan up her sleeve? If that was true, what was that other plan? And how did it ( because it certainly would ) involve Abilene? ( She would never say it aloud, and hardly would admit it inside her own skull, but she had an idea of what that other plan could be ... )