Dear Melpomene

1

Dear Melpomene,

It's been a while since I last wrote an entry. Well, it's just that there's really nothing good going on in my life these past few months. It's like my only reason to wake up every morning is school. School keeps me going. Part of me wants it to end, but it's my only escape from this place I don't want to call home anymore. I used to love this place. It used to feel big, and Mom and I played a lot. I used to see Mom cry, but she always told me she was just really happy. I believed her; I was too young and dumb to understand the reality.

Stinky, stupid Richard came home earlier. I call him that because I don't think I'd still want to call him Dad. You know, I overheard a student in my class complain about how his dad always embarrassed him by telling his friends jokes that weren't really funny. I remember his name was Daniel. But I think Daniel is still blessed. He's got a funny dad. I met his dad once; I saw him. He was actually funny, and he's kind. I saw him take Daniel's little sister to McDonald's after work. I don't understand why Daniel would be embarrassed of his dad. Look at me—I think I should be the one embarrassed by my evil dad. I wish he wasn't my dad. He came home earlier and took my mom's savings. Mom tried to argue with him, but she ended up in tears in the corner of her room. That Richard hit her, as always. He barely even comes home, but he's got the nerve to show his face and take our things. But Mom says she can't do anything about it. He threatened he would kick us out if we ever called the police to have him arrested. The house still belongs to him, and we have nowhere to go. I wish I could do something, but I'm too useless. I hate my social anxiety. I hate myself.

"I—I think I need to do overtime," said my mom. She was packing the things she would need for work. "We'll need it. And don't worry. I'll buy you a new laptop." Mom tried to look at me with a smile, but I could tell she was holding back her tears.

"You don't have to," I said. "I'll find a way. It's not important."

"But your—he hit you too?" Mom touched the bruise on my face and cried. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I can't do anything. I'm sorry."

"It doesn't hurt."

"I'll make him pay. One day he'll beg for our forgiveness. One day he'll realize his mistakes, and he'll be kind to us again. I promise that, Jake."

"No," I said. I'm tired of hearing those things from her. Mom can't see the problem here. "We're like this because you keep believing he'd change. You could have left him a long time ago, Mom. But you held on for what? There's nothing that will change him. We need to get away while we can."

"He's still your father. You'll need him."

"I don't need him more than I need you. I could live without him. We could leave without him. I can't let this happen again. Stop loving someone who can't even love you back. Aren't you tired, Mom?"

Mom stared at me, teary-eyed. I know Mom was hurting, but I can't let her hold on to that rope that's beginning to strangle her. That rope isn't a way out of the cliff. It's the one that will kill us both. Falling might be the only option.

"I'll find work."

"You're sixteen."

"I am," I replied. "And I can. That might be a little scary for me, but I'll do it for us."

I stormed out of the kitchen and left the house to go to school, where evil dad can't be around.