Things That Shouldn't Be

Chapter 1, Part 1: Holler Goblins

Pre-dawn, spring Appalachian air burned Laura's lungs as she ran. Her legs were aching with exhaustion, her feet barely lifting off the ground with each step, her toes scraping against roots. The metallic hum of. . . whatever it was following her intensified in her ears. It was gaining on her and she knew she'd soon have to fight.

Branches whipped Laura's body as she barreled through the forest. At least I'm hitting level ground, Laura thought as she ran. The ground wasn't rushing to meet her footfalls as quickly as it hard. Fifty or so feet away, she saw the lightening sky. As good a place as any for a showdown, Laura thought as she entered the clearing. She ran twenty or so feet and turned. An east-facing valley in front of her, the mountain behind her to the west, she checked the time on her watch. Zero-six-fifty-three. She reached for her shirt pocket, pulled out sunglasses and put them on.

Laura unsheathed her tranquilizer pistol. She raised it as she turned to face her pursuer. The sun was rising and golden light poured over the mountains and filled the valley in which she found herself like a bowl. The sunlight silhouetted a single, darkened figure which grew larger as it approached. Laura braced herself and fired. The dart hit its target and deflected off with a metal-on-metal k-ping! that reminded Laura of intramural softball. As her eyes adjusted to the light, she could see her target and knew why the dart ricocheted.

The creature now floating towards her, levitating in a lazy wave pattern, was an exaggeration of simian anatomy, wrapped in a shell of metallic armor. Spindly arms hung at the sides of a thin body, knuckles level with knees that bent spindly legs the wrong way. Only its head could be considered large, and that was cartoonishly so. The creature's helmet was featureless except black-tented lenses and large, spiny ears that reminded Laura of bats' wings. Laura wondered if the animal inside the suit had ears that resembled those on its helmet, or if those were ornamental. Laura fired another dart, and another k-ping! echoed in the space between her and her pursuer.

Laura stepped back without turning away from the creature. It floated closer and Laura deduced that the hum must have come from whatever device was allowing it to levitate. The sound now rang in Laura's ears like a car alarm. She gritted her teeth and thought about firing another dart. It'd just be a waste of darts, she thought as she sheathed the pistol. Dammit, where was Theo?

An exposed tree root caught Laura's foot as she took another step backwards. The root, wet with dew, provided now friction against her foot. Laura's heel slid over the root and, for just a second, Laura lost her balance. She fell backwards, instinct pushing her arms backwards to catch herself. The ground came too fast and Laura's teeth chattered as her tailbone hit the ground before her hands.

Laura kept her eyes on the creature as she felt around blindly for a rock, a branch, some improvised weapon. It was now just feet from her. Its impossibly thin arms raised and outstretched fingers, three on each hand, reached for her. Laura squeezed her eyes shut so hard that she saw dull pink light through her eyelids. "I supposed you're going to take that shooting personally," Laura said while scuttling backwards too slowly. In a world of blindness and panic, Laura waited.

And waited.

And listened.

And heard a struggle, and a voice she knew.

"Not today, you little bastard."

Laura opened her eyes to find two, tattooed arms wrapped around the creature's neck in a sleeper hold. She didn't need to see the blue pixie cut, the short-sleeved, khaki button-down, or the matching shorts to know help had arrived, and not soon enough.

"You're late, Theo."

Theobroma Jones had the creature subdued, at least for the moment. "It's wearing. . .armor, can't. . . choke it out. . ."