Hyunlix- A love story

Chapter 2

Hyunjin:

Minho has left. Idk what I should think about it...
We're all very sad- I mean very very sad, I don't really know how to explain...
Our whole dream shattered all at once, the only thing that we ever wanted was for us to stay 9.
He was our friend- no, wait... he'll always be forever our friend. At day when we are busy with things like dancing or singing, because we need to practise for the next and last eliminating day in few days, But that night I'm really sad, it's like I've lost him forever...which is kind of true since we'll hardly see him anymore.
OH few DAYS!? NO WAY!!!
I have far too little time, I'm not good enough yet, I won't make.....I'll be eliminated! I'm quite sure of that....
The rap part??? Gosh nahhh....

Felix:

I listen to some music by Coldplay to relax. Sometimes it helps me to avoid my feelings, to forget them for a moment. If I don't do it right now, I would.....cry....
No, actually I would really cry.
I can't anymore, I can't get anything into my head, it's about to burst. I just can't take it anymore, it's all getting too much for me. It's so hard...but I also want to be an idol.
So I listen to music, to escape. Right now I hear Up&Up by Coldplay. I like that song so I begin to sing quietly along:

We're gonna get it, get it together, I know
I'm gonna get it, get it together somehow
We're gonna get it, get it together and flower
Woah, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
We're gonna get it, get it together I know
We're gonna get it, get it together and flow
I'm gonna get it, get it together and go
Up and up and up

As the song is finish I stop singing and turn my phone off.
I should practice now, if I want to stay.
So I stand up off the ground and and practice my dance steps, first without music then with. After I learned more steps. I begin to dance and to sing at the same time, again first without music then with. After that everything started again and I repeated everything again, over and over again. Now that I'm finish, it's begin to get dark outside so I decide to go to the others to get some rest.

(I have no idea 😪where they were, whether the room for training was in the same building as where they lived together, but in my story everything is in one building for now, sooooo move on 🤭💅)

I saw the others in our living room, sitting on the couch or on chairs, talking to each other or hang out on the mobile.
I look at Bangchan, who is also sitting on the couch, asking if there is still room for me.

Bangchan: "Sure, sit down I'll make some space for you."

Me: "Thanks!"

Bangchan: "No problem."

So I sit next to Bangchan on the edge of the couch. When I sit down I also see that Minho is sitting next to Bangchan, Han is sitting next to him, Minho and Han watching some videos on Han's phone. But then I suddenly noticed that Minho had to leave us... Minho doesn't even sit next to Han and watch videos with him. Han watches the videos alone... When I look closer, Han Jisung doesn't look good at all, he even has tears in his eyes, but I don't want to talk to him about it. I don't want to deceive him. Besides, we're all sad...Jeongin is sitting next to Han, I think he is chatting with someone. Hyunjin and Seungmin sit on the chairs opposite me. Seungmin makes some fun of Hyunjin. Idk why but yeah....and Changbin sits next to me on the chair. He's playing video games on his phone.

And what should I do now???
Nobody knows...

I just start again, to play music and put my headphones on.
After a while, the song I'm training comes up. The song is actually good, but right now it's putting me under pressure. I have to turn it off! Immediately! But my hands just can't move. Why not??? I just want to turn off the song because it annoys me...
I start shaking, small beads of sweat form on my forehead.
What is happening?

Hyunjin:

After Seungmin was finish (ofc he's finish 😉) to tease me that I don't like eggplants, I see that Felix is shaking, and that he has small beads of sweat form on his forehead. I'm really worried. Why is he shaking? What's wrong? Almost everything was fine before. I want to help him, but Bangchan is faster. First he pull the earphones off his ears. He also turned the music off. Then he puts his hand on Felix's leg and tries to calm him down.

"Hey, Felix~, try to calm down. It's alright.....If you want, tell me what's going on. Yes?", Bangchan said caring.

Felix doesn't answer, but he calms a bit. Meanwhile the others have noticed it too and are now all standing around Felix, including me. I saw that Felix is hugging Bangchan. I know it's normal, it should be for me too, but this time I wish I would be in Bangchan's place and would now hug Felix...
I don't even like hugs or physical touches.....
But if Felix asked me, I would hug him.

But I would also do the same for the other members.
I swear I would!

Me: "Is it better now, since you hugged Bangchan?"
As I said that, I was a little disappointed that I wasn't the one hugging him.

Felix:

"Yes...I'm fine now.", I said.

(Hyunjin thoughts)
I wish he would say no. Ok, ok,ok that sounds really mean but I can explain!!! I wish he would say no bc then I would can comfort him. But he's already fine so I can't do anything. 

Me: "Guys. I'm sooooo sorry. I don't know what happend...."

Actually I know it very well. But I don't want to explain myself and make the others worried about me. Sometimes I like this type of affection because if I don't have it I feel often lonely. But not today, its a bad thing to worry his friends.

Changbin: "Don't apologise how can you just say sorry....?"

Me: "I'm sorry..."

Then I realised I said sorry again. Why did I do that!? Am I stupid?? Changbin rolls his eyes. Bangchan gives me again a big hug. It's sooooo comforting like you would lay in a big soft bed. I love hugs from Channie. Everyone loves them. They're just like...perfect. But if you hug Cgangbin, it's also always so comfortable and soft. I genuinely love hugs.
( I love hugs too you guys also?? 🫂🎀)

Hyunjin:

Wtf! Why so much hugs Felix? I know you love hugs but...no I don't have the right to think like that! He almost had a panic attack... I have to stay quite even if.....yeah even if I'm a tiny bit jealous.

Me: "so you feeling better now?"

Felix: "Yes much better" he smiled

Me: "ok that's good"

After Felix is more calmed they all sit now around him and they talk to him like nothing happens. Just me my stupid self sit in my room to chill alone. But I'm fine I guess...
Sometimes I need attention but now I want to be alone.

But today the universe is mean to me and so comes that Felix comes to me. That's not bad that's actually very fine but not yet when I'm jealous because of him!!!

Felix: "hii"

Me: "hi, what's up? What do you want?"

Felix: "I just saw you aren't with the others and with me and that you are alone so I thought I'll go looking after you."

Me: "Thanks but there was no need for."

Felix: "but I wanted it."