Between Books and Blades || Discontinued

Chapter Six: Reya

"Zora. You will be filling for Reya," Coach says looking at Zora from his clipboard. Zora looks at me and then back to Coach. You've got to be kidding me. First, I'm benched and then he has Zora take my spot for the scrimmage? This can't be happening.

I met with Coach a few days ago before practice where we talked about my calculus grade, where he told me that I would need a tutor and be benched until I can get it up. I'm not as upset about it as I was when I first met with him, but I know when the game starts is when the sadness will creep in.

It may not look like it based on my grades, but I have worked my ass off to get where I am today. Everything I have done college-wise has been for my hockey career. When Coach had first told me I was being benched I felt like I had been punched in the gut. When you love a sport and put your blood, sweat, and tears into it hearing those words sounds like the worst news in the world.

Hockey is the only thing that I love that has loved me back. Playing hockey and getting the reward of a goal or my teammates telling me I'm doing good almost makes up for the silence of my parents. Hockey is what got me through high school when my parents were never around. It was my escape away from reality and made me feel less alone. Hockey is the one thing that has brought me happiness and never took it away.

I was constantly fighting for my parents' validation and to hear an "I'm proud of you" for once, but it never happened. I participated in sports and school clubs just to play or perform and see everyone's parents in the crowd but mine. My parents have never truly cared about me or my accomplishments but at least I now have the chance to be proud of myself.

And I am proud of myself, not of my grades of course, but of how far I have come in my hockey career. I am a good ass player, and I won't let anything ruin my junior season. Not even calculus.

"Okay, Coach," Zora replies and heads to the locker room to get ready. Our scrimmage starts at five but Coach wanted us to be here at three so he could run through plays and discuss positions for tonight.

I take a seat on the bench because I have nothing else better to do.

"How are you holding up?" Genevieve asks as she sits down next to me.

I shrug my shoulders. I'm feeling okay. I am bummed but I keep telling myself that it could be worse. I could be benched for our first game of the season or even the last, but it's just a scrimmage. The scrimmage itself isn't important but the opportunity to show my teammates that I would make a good team captain is.

I'm not sure where I'm sitting due to the incident with Genevieve and Zora before practice the other day. I know it wasn't my fault, but I was still involved. Rue had told me about what happened and how everyone was pretty upset at Genevieve for outing Zora like that. I agree with my teammates. If Zora is gay that's her business and no one should be outed like that. I'm not sure where Genevieve got her information but I'm not sure if I trust it especially since Zora said she wasn't gay.

I have been ignoring Marcus's texts, not because I'm mad at him but because I don't really know if I want to be involved with him anymore. We have been friends with benefits for a few years now and I feel like I'm getting bored. Marcus isn't looking for a relationship, and I'm not sure if I am either, but I know the kind of guy Marcus is and I'm tired of worrying about if he is with other girls or not.

When we had first started things, we didn't decide to be only with each other and at first, I was fine with that. Until I wasn't. The more time I had spent with Marcus the less I wanted to spend time with anyone else, but he wasn't like that. He would jump at any opportunity to get a girl in his bed, which is why I wasn't super surprised to hear about Zora and him. I was mostly pissed because I'm already jealous of Zora and she had to take Marcus too?