A perfect fit

TOW chandler is a good friend

(Day 53 – seventh week of pregnancy)

Chandler looked sadly over at the dark figure standing on the balcony of his apartment. Joey had gone there when he came back from his talk with Rachel. He hadn't wanted to talk to him about it, just asked him to let him alone out there for a while.

It pained Chandler to see his friend like that. Joey always seemed like someone who could be unfazed by the ups and downs of a relationship. Someone who could just move on, find happiness elsewhere if something didn't work out for him. He wasn't the guy who mourned his losses for too long, he was always looking for the positive aspects of everything.

Chandler cursed himself for the slip of tongue that led directly to Rachel getting together with Ross. He had always felt as if everything was his fault. He was happy for them when they got together, but seeing them break up so painfully tortured him for weeks. Having to suffer through years of 'on again, off again' was truly one of the few things that could make him cry. But seeing Joey, his best friend, someone he had supported and protected for years, getting caught up in this big 'Ross and Rachel' mess, actually made him despise them both.

He wondered why all that had hit Joey so hard, so mercilessly. Of course he knew how much something like this could hurt, but it wasn't supposed to break a man. Maybe the reason was Joey himself. He didn't do denial. The stage of an emotional traumatic experience that cushions the blow, that makes you realize what has happened to you slowly, was nothing Joey went through, normally. He took everything at face value, he saw things as they were and let them affect him unfiltered. This was what enabled him to enjoy everything life had to offer to the fullest. Now it was the reason he was dying inside.

Joey climbed back through the window and slowly made his way to the couch, smiling bravely.

"Wanna talk?" Chandler asked tentatively. He had no idea how to be around Joey anymore. He seemed so fragile, so broken. A few hours ago a stupid commercial had brought tears to Joey's eyes.

"I don't know, Chan. It seems it's all I do lately. Talk. I don't wanna talk, I want things to be back to how they were before everything went to hell. I want my life back."

It was still disconcerting to Chandler to realize how much Joey had matured over the past two days, how he had completely lost his boyish carelessness.

"What did Rachel say?"

"She wasn't meaning to hurt me, she is sorry, she wants to be with me, raise our child with me. She cried a lot and she actually made me feel bad for her."

"You don't have to feel bad for her."

"I can't help it. I see her cry and all I want to do is take her in my arms again and make it better. But how do you embrace something that burns you?"

Chandler had no answer to that.

...

A knock on the door startled Chandler out of his thoughts. Joey had gone to his room about half an hour ago and Chandler was still waiting for Monica who had gone looking for Ross, wanting to talk to him. Chandler didn't think it was a good idea. The last days had been emotionally taxing for both of them. Ross certainly wasn't the one with the biggest problems of the group. He opened the door and out there was Ross... sans Monica.

"Ross, what are you doing here? Monica is looking for you everywhere."

"I slept at work last night. Couldn't bring myself to go to my apartment."

Chandler was motioning for Ross to come in. Not so much out of courtesy, but out of the need not to make a scene in the hall.

When the door closed behind Ross, Chandler blew up.