Thank you,dad

That friday

    You came back...just to leave me again.
And I can't help habits like inviting toxic friends.
I am the worst but they expect the best.
Ignored calls and stacks of stress.
Not patient, but i'll wait for you.
I mean can't blame you have some skills that you've always lacked.
I just wish that you can get them back.
I sat on my bed yesterday depression rising when I thought about you leaving me that one friday.
I used to cry every single night.
now there's no vision of you in my sight.
Maybe you can change? Come back next Friday.
Just someone tell me. He'll come back next Friday.
Now it's the holidays, everyone's laughing
but I'm still trying to wrap my head around what's happening
Apparently I can't forgive...So I won't forgive.
I can't accept
You taught me how to lie.
You make me feel I want to die.
I just wanted to be happy
Only a child
ugly crying
forever dying
You always found ways to mess me up
I've been tossed up, tossed around but this time you've really shattered the ground.
I wish I was treated the same, guess I'm to blame
We really aren't the same.
  Still having flashbacks from that one friday.

Back

Life's ruined
Life's gone
I only write stupid songs
I'm ruined
I'm gone
I can't even write a good song
I hate me
Who is me?
I hate life
What is life?
I don't know why I even try...
Shadows darkened
Depressions back
I'm going back to black

Shit

I'm not sitting on my bed anymore
Sitting on a park bench wishing life was better like before
I feel like I'm gonna die
Maybe I want to die
Stuck on my bed
Your stuck in my head
Wish I could walk you out that door
No, I'm to busy dying on the bathroom floor
Want to talk..
We've already fuckin talked
You shout
I cry
Ripped up poems
Thowin shit
Room trashed
All alone
stacks of shreds of..Shitty poems
Wish I could stop
It's going deeper
Oh shit
Oh shit
Oh shit...

Wishlist

I wish I would stop
I wish I could stop
I wish I could get help
I wish they knew how I felt
But no
I guess I'm stuck here writing shitty poems
Shitty lyrics
I want someone to hear it
I wish I could melt, melt away
But what would they say...
If I left today?
fly away, float away go away.
I wish I could stop being insulted
I fire back but that makes me mean
I only just said one thing...
What's wrong with my face?
"Alot" I know
I hide behind a mask
Behind the "smile"
Behind the "laughs"
I wish they would leave me be
Cause this is my wishlist and I wish in the future I still won't feel like shit

Lucky You~

You're lucky you don't know me
Your lucky you don't know them
You're lucky your not lying on the cold stale floor
I now have arguments with my mom...
Arguments with every...fucking...body
Cause I don't like the people who call me emo
And I don't like the pick me girls
And I don't like the sexist guys
Maybe I don't belong in this world
Maybe I'll go
maybe this time it'll be lucky me
will anyone miss me?
I cut him out
I cut her out
cut myself
carved myself
feel like a pumpkin
plump and carved...
My soul is gone
grasping onto my last breath
When am I gonna end?
I am not me
You are not you anymore
If I would have known
L-l-l-l-l-lucky you
you can cut me
you can watch me bleed
What I'd risk for you...
What I'd risk just to be loved
You laugh at me
You have everything so lucky little you
Fuck you

(Written original please do not steal and also no need to report or anything I'm fine and these were from a year ago)