Chapter Thirty Five: Holding Him Back
The alarm blasted, waking me up from my deep sleep. It's Monday, and I don't have the energy to go to school. Hindi ko pa rin maalis sa isipan ko ang nangyari sa bahay nila Chance noong Sabado. It's like the aftermath, and I hate that I have to deal with this aftermath alone. Hindi ko magawang sabihin kay Jilliana, kay Chance, o kahit kanino. I don't know how to start if I ever tell them. I'm so confused and as an overthinker... I don't know what to do.
Hindi ako kaagad bumangon, hinayaan ko muna ang sarili kong mahiga sa kama. Umayos ako ng higa, at tinitigan ang kisame. I tried to push away the thoughts swirling in my head, but they just kept coming back—flashes of moments from the party, ang sinabi sa'kin ng mom ni Chance, si Myka. My heart races again, remembering that moment.
I tried to tell myself it was nothing, that I was overthinking again, but deep down, I knew something had shifted. Hindi ko lang alam kung anong shift iyon. Was it just me?
I sighed, closing my eyes, trying to push the questions away. But they stuck. I couldn't ignore them.
After a few more minutes of laying there, I finally rolled out of bed, forcing myself to start my day. I didn't want to, but I knew I had to. The thought of facing school, though, felt heavier than usual today.
Pumasok ako sa banyo, tumingin sa salamin, at pinilit magbuhos ng malamig na tubig sa mukha. The chill helped, but only a little.
I dressed quickly, hardly looking at my reflection as I pulled on my uniform. I barely had time for breakfast, so I grabbed a granola bar on my way out. Pagdating ko sa school, pakiramdam ko ang bigat ng bawat hakbang ko, para bang lahat ng mga mata ng mundo ay nakatingin sa'kin, kahit na walang dahilan para mag-isip ng ganon.
I scanned the hallways as I walked, hoping to see a familiar face—kahit si Jilliana para lang ma-distract ako. But she wasn't around yet. I reached my locker and took a deep breath, trying to focus on the day ahead. Still, the feeling of uncertainty and the weight of those unanswered questions lingered.
I wish I could forget about it, or at least make sense of it. But it was impossible to shake off the feeling that something had changed, and I couldn't just let it go.
I stood there for a moment, staring at the contents of my locker, trying to focus on something—anything—other than the constant swirl of thoughts in my head. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop thinking about what happened during Saturday night.
I snapped my locker shut with a little more force than I meant to, and it startled me out of my thoughts. I turned around, half-expecting to see someone looking at me, but the hallway was just as empty as before.
I sighed and walked towards the classroom. When I got there, I saw Jilliana sitting in her usual seat by the window. She was texting on her phone, her face lit by the soft glow of the screen. I hesitated before sitting down beside her. For a moment, I just watched her fingers move across the screen, wondering if I should say anything at all.
She looked up and smiled when she saw me. "Hey, nandyan ka na pala. How was your weekend?" she asked casually, like nothing was off.
I forced a smile, lumapit ako sa kaniya at umupo sa tabi niya. "Ayos lang. Just... really tired."
She raised an eyebrow, obviously sensing the hesitation in my voice. "Okay ka ba talaga? You seem... I don't know, off today."
I opened my mouth to answer, but no words came out. I couldn't bring myself to tell her what had been bothering me all weekend. Not yet. Maybe I was just overthinking it, but I didn't want to risk making things weird between us or anyone else. I didn't know how to explain the strange tension I felt.
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Dying Embers
Teen FictionTwo hearts once burned brightly with love, but time and pain have turned their fire into fading embers. When their paths cross again, old feelings stir, and questions arise. Can they fan the embers back to life, or is their love meant to fade away...