[Scene cuts to a commercial for Super Mario Bros. Plumbing. Two men appear, Mario in a red hat and shirt and Luigi in green, both with large mustaches and wearing denim overalls and white gloves. They ride in a yellow van and demonstrate their plumbing skills.]
Commercial Singer: ♪ Uh, we're the Mario Brothers, and plumbing's our game. We're not like the others who get all the fame. When your sink is in trouble, you can call us on the double. We're faster than the others, you'll be hooked on the brothers, huh! ♪
Mario: (Italian accent) It's-a-me, a-Mario!
Luigi: (Italian accent) And-a Luigi!
Mario: Are you tired of-a paying too much for plumbing?
Mario & Luigi: Mamma mia!
Mario: That's-a why the Super Mario Brothers are here. To-a save Brooklyn.
Luigi: And-a Queens...
Mario: And-a your wallet.
Commercial Actress: (reading from a cue card offscreen) Thank you, Super Mario Bros.! It seems like the only thing you haven't drained is my bank account... (shrugs in confusion)
Mario: Forget-a the expensive plumbing companies where you're-a just a face. With the Super Mario Brothers, you're family!
Commercial Singer: ♪ Hooked on the brothers! ♪ (fading echoes)
[The commercial ends as the real Mario and Luigi celebrate in Punch-Out Pizzeria.]
Luigi: (laughs)
Mario: (Brooklyn accent) Wow! You were great.
Luigi: (Brooklyn accent) I was great? Are you kidding me? YOU were great!
[Alongside them were the Good Guys; Mr. Wolf, Mr. Snake, Mr. Shark, Mr. Piranha, and Ms. Tarantula.]
Ms. Tarantula: I honestly can't believe you spent your life savings on this commercial.
Luigi: That is not a commercial! That is cinema.
Mario: Eh, what about the accents? Is it... Is it too much?
Mr. Shark: What?! No way, you both nailed it.
[A man dressed similarly to the brothers, Giuseppe, turns to them.]
Giuseppe: (Italian accent; agreeing to Mr. Shark) Too much? It's-a perfect! Wahoo!
Mario: Okay, I'm gonna trust you.
[He returns to playing a Jumpman arcade game. Spike, a large bearded man in a Wrecking Crew uniform and sunglasses, speaks out.]
Spike: Well, well, well. If it isn't Brooklyn's favorite failures, the Stupid Mario Brothers and the ex-villain group.
Luigi: (as he and Mario indignantly walk over to Spike) Oh great... Spike's here.
Mario: Hey, Spike.
Spike: Yeah, (in a comically high-pitched voice, similar to Mario's) it's-a me! (cackles) Wooo yeah... Tell me: have you even gotten one call since you left me to start your dumb company?
Luigi: (holds up his phone) As a matter of fact, Spike, we have.
Mr. Wolf: Wow. Really?
Luigi: Uh, Yeah. Our mom called, and she said, "Aw, boys, that's the best commercial I've ever seen." And I said, "Thank you very much, mother. We're very proud of it." So, boom! (accidentally drops his phone as Mario looks embarrassed.)
Mr. Snake: (dumbfounded) Really?
Spike: (laughs) Good luck running a business with these idiots. (throws a napkin at Luigi, which Mario catches.)
Mario: Say that again about my brother and our friends, and you're gonna regret it. (tosses the napkin back at Spike)
Spike: (gets up and grabs Mario by the overalls) Oh yeah? Get this through your tiny brain, Mario! You're a joke — and you always will be. (He throws Mario on the ground and leaves while chuckling.)
[Mr. Wolf helped Mario back up as Mario fixed his hat.]
Mr. Wolf: Hey, don't let him get to you like that.
Luigi: (worried; to Mario) Are you insane? He's three times your size!
Mario: Luigi, c'mon... y'know, you can't be scared all the time.
Luigi: Mmm, you'd be surprised...
[Luigi's cracked phone begins to ring. Luigi picks it up off the floor and answers.]
Luigi: Hello, Super Mario Brothers. Uh-huh? A drip in your faucet? That's great! I mean, that's... That's great you called us because we can be there and we can fix it right away. Okay. Mario, We got one!
[Mario and Luigi hug and jump around.]
Mario: (laughs)
Ms. Tarantula: The Super Mario Brothers are in business!
Mario: Woo-hoo!
[The group get into their van, but it fails to start.]
Mr. Piranha: Oh, no. We're gonna be late!
Mario: No, we're not. Come on, let's go.
[Mario, Luigi, and the Good Guys start running through the Brooklyn neighborhood. "No Sleep till Brooklyn" by the Beastie Boys begins to play.]
Luigi: Hey, wait up!
Mario: This way.
[Mario hits a trash can containing one alley cat from "The Secret Life of Pets", which leaps out at Mr. Wolf.]
Cat: (shrieks)
Mr. Wolf: Ah!
Mario: Come on, guys. Step on it.
[Mario deftly jumps through an open cab window and around grocery store customers, while Luigi struggles with bumping into them.]
Woman: Excuse you!
[Mr. Wolf puts the cat into a paper bag and hands it to a grocery clerk.]
Mr. Wolf: Here you go.
Cat: (meows)
[Mario, Luigi, and the Good Guys comes to a road closed for construction.]
Luigi: (sighs)
[Mario runs toward the construction zone.]
Luigi: Oh, Mario, what are you doing?
[Mario and Luigi enter the construction zone, leaping on and around railings, girders and construction workers.]
Construction Worker #1: Hey! Get offa there!
Construction Worker #2: You can't be in-Whoa!
Mr. Piranha: Sorry!
Construction Worker #3: Move it up!
Luigi: Ah! I'm so sorry.
Construction Worker #4: Hey, we're workin' here!
Luigi: So sorry.
[Mario and Mr. Wolf made it out of the construction zone and opens the gate for the others.]
Mario: Come on, guys! Pump those legs.
Luigi: (pants) Oh, I'm trying. I'm trying. I got bad knees.
[Mr. Shark carried Luigi onto his back.]
