[Scene cuts to a commercial for Super Mario Bros. Plumbing. Two men appear, Mario in a red hat and shirt and Luigi in green, both with large mustaches and wearing denim overalls and white gloves. They ride in a yellow van and demonstrate their plumbing skills.]
Commercial Singer: ♪ Uh, we're the Mario Brothers, and plumbing's our game. We're not like the others who get all the fame. When your sink is in trouble, you can call us on the double. We're faster than the others, you'll be hooked on the brothers, huh! ♪
Mario: (Italian accent) It's-a-me, a-Mario!
Luigi: (Italian accent) And-a Luigi!
Mario: Are you tired of-a paying too much for plumbing?
Mario & Luigi: Mamma mia!
Mario: That's-a why the Super Mario Brothers are here. To-a save Brooklyn.
Luigi: And-a Queens...
Mario: And-a your wallet.
Commercial Actress: (reading from a cue card offscreen) Thank you, Super Mario Bros.! It seems like the only thing you haven't drained is my bank account... (shrugs in confusion)
Mario: Forget-a the expensive plumbing companies where you're-a just a face. With the Super Mario Brothers, you're family!
Commercial Singer: ♪ Hooked on the brothers! ♪ (fading echoes)
[The commercial ends as the real Mario and Luigi celebrate in Punch-Out Pizzeria.]
Luigi: (laughs)
Mario: (Brooklyn accent) Wow! You were great.
Luigi: (Brooklyn accent) I was great? Are you kidding me? YOU were great!
[Alongside them were the Good Guys; Mr. Wolf, Mr. Snake, Mr. Shark, Mr. Piranha, and Ms. Tarantula.]
Ms. Tarantula: I honestly can't believe you spent your life savings on this commercial.
Luigi: That is not a commercial! That is cinema.
Mario: Eh, what about the accents? Is it... Is it too much?
Mr. Shark: What?! No way, you both nailed it.
[A man dressed similarly to the brothers, Giuseppe, turns to them.]
Giuseppe: (Italian accent; agreeing to Mr. Shark) Too much? It's-a perfect! Wahoo!
Mario: Okay, I'm gonna trust you.
[He returns to playing a Jumpman arcade game. Spike, a large bearded man in a Wrecking Crew uniform and sunglasses, speaks out.]
Spike: Well, well, well. If it isn't Brooklyn's favorite failures, the Stupid Mario Brothers and the ex-villain group.
Luigi: (as he and Mario indignantly walk over to Spike) Oh great... Spike's here.
Mario: Hey, Spike.
Spike: Yeah, (in a comically high-pitched voice, similar to Mario's) it's-a me! (cackles) Wooo yeah... Tell me: have you even gotten one call since you left me to start your dumb company?
Luigi: (holds up his phone) As a matter of fact, Spike, we have.
Mr. Wolf: Wow. Really?
Luigi: Uh, Yeah. Our mom called, and she said, "Aw, boys, that's the best commercial I've ever seen." And I said, "Thank you very much, mother. We're very proud of it." So, boom! (accidentally drops his phone as Mario looks embarrassed.)
Mr. Snake: (dumbfounded) Really?
Spike: (laughs) Good luck running a business with these idiots. (throws a napkin at Luigi, which Mario catches.)
YOU ARE READING
The Bad Guys in: The Super Mario Bros. 2023
AdventureAfter the Bad Guys went good, they started helping out in the community, and their first job was; plumbing. Luckily, they landed a part time working with the Mario Bros. Plumbing at Brooklyn, New York. But when the group encounters a green pipe, the...
