ilona sat cross-legged in one of the stiff airport chairs, scrolling through her phone as alan paced nearby, his hands shoved deep into his pockets. the steady hum of announcements and muffled conversations filled the air around them, but neither of them spoke for a while. alan's eyes kept flicking toward the departure board, as if willing their flight to board sooner.
"you're making me dizzy," ilona said without looking up, a small smirk tugging at her lips.
alan stopped mid-step and turned to her, his brows furrowed. "what? i'm just walking."
"you're pacing," she corrected, glancing up at him. "and it's stressing me out. sit down, alan. the plane's not leaving without us."
he sighed but dropped into the seat beside her, slouching low with his legs stretched out in front of him. "i'm just–thinking."
ilona locked her phone and set it down, turning to face him. "about what?"
he hesitated, his fingers tapping against the armrest. "everything, i guess. the tour. the cast. how they're gonna react when we show up. if i've screwed things up too much to fix."
she reached over, placing her hand on his thigh, her touch grounding. "look, you're not walking into a firing squad. they're mad, sure, but they care about you. you'll explain, they'll listen, and things will work out."
he gave her a weak smile, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "you make it sound so simple."
"because it is," she said, leaning back in her chair. "people fight. they get mad. but they also forgive, alan. especially when it's someone they love."
he exhaled slowly, letting her words sink in, then glanced over at her. "you're good at this, you know."
"what? calming your overly dramatic ass down?" she teased, grinning. "yeah, it's a full-time job."
he chuckled, finally relaxing a bit, and reached over to take her hand in his. "thank you."
"for what?" she asked, tilting her head.
"for being here. for dealing with all my mess. for—being you."
she squeezed his hand, her grin softening into a smile. "always."
the loudspeaker crackled, announcing their flight was ready to board. ilona stood first, grabbing her bag and slinging it over her shoulder. "come on, let's go. time to face the music."
alan stood, his bag slung over one shoulder as he followed her to the boarding gate. as they walked side by side, he couldn't help but glance at her, the doubt in his mind quieting just a little. whatever was waiting for him on the other side of this flight, he knew one thing for sure—having ilona by his side made it all feel a little less impossible.
arriving at the studio was a completely different beast for alan. ilona didn't need to ask how he was feeling—she could sense it in the way his energy shifted the moment they stepped out of the hotel room. the confidence he carried when they were alone had vanished, replaced by a tense silence that weighed heavily between them as they walked toward the rehearsal space. his usual easy stride was stiffer, his shoulders hunched as though bracing for a storm.
ilona stayed close to his side, her hand brushing against his every so often, a silent reassurance she hoped he'd feel. "you okay?" she finally asked, breaking the silence as they turned the corner to the studio.
"i'm fine," alan said quickly, though the tightness in his voice betrayed him. he glanced at her, his expression softening for a moment before his gaze flicked back to the ground. "just thinking."
she slowed her pace slightly, giving him a moment to gather his thoughts. "whatever happens in there," she said gently, "you've got me. okay?"
he stopped walking, turning to face her fully. his eyes were clouded with doubt, a vulnerability she didn't often see. "what if they don't forgive me? what if i've ruined everything?"
"alan," she said firmly, reaching out to take his hand. "you're going in there to make things right, and that's what matters. they're your friends, your family. it's going to take time, but they'll hear you out. they care about you."
he exhaled slowly, squeezing her hand.
"own up to your mistakes, be honest, and show them the alan they've always known. they'll come around."
he nodded, her words settling something in him, even if only slightly. but as they approached the studio doors, the tension returned. his steps slowed, his grip on her hand tightening. the muffled sound of voices on the other side made his stomach twist. this wasn't just about him anymore—this was about fixing the relationships he'd nearly broken.
ilona gave his hand one last squeeze before letting go. "you ready?" she asked softly.
he hesitated, his hand hovering over the door handle. "no," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. but then he straightened, taking a deep breath. "but i'm going in anyway."
she nodded, her eyes full of quiet encouragement. "that's all that matters."
the door swung open, and alan stepped into the rehearsal studio, ilona trailing just a step behind him. the room went quiet, all movement and conversation halting as every head turned to face him. the weight of their stares hit him like a tidal wave, and for a moment, he thought his legs might give out. but he forced himself to stand tall, even as his heart hammered in his chest.
derek was the first to step forward, his expression unreadable but his eyes sharp. "so, you finally decided to show up."
alan swallowed hard, glancing around the room. jenna had her arms crossed, leaning against the wall with a raised brow, while rylee sat on the floor, her lips pressed into a thin line. ezra, val, emma, and the others stood scattered across the space, their faces ranging from neutral to outright annoyed. even some of the celebrities from the season had lingered—joey, danny, chandler, and stephen—all watching the scene unfold with varying degrees of curiosity and judgment.
"yeah," alan said quietly, his voice almost too soft to carry across the room. he cleared his throat and tried again. "yeah, i'm here."
"and?" jenna prompted, her tone sharp, cutting through the tension. "you've got a lot to explain, alan."
ilona shifted behind him, and alan glanced back at her briefly. she gave him a small nod, her silent way of saying, you've got this. he turned back to the group, taking a deep breath.
"look," he started, his voice steadier this time, "i know i messed up. i know i hurt all of you when i left. and i know i owe you an explanation."
"damn right you do," ezra muttered, crossing his arms as he leaned against the mirror. "you vanished, alan. no texts, no calls, nothing. do you even realize how much we've been scrambling since you left?"
"we were worried," rylee added, her tone softer but still laced with frustration. "and pissed. mostly pissed."
"i know," alan said quickly, his hands raised slightly in surrender. "i know, and i don't blame any of you for being angry. i'd be angry too. i just—i wasn't in a good place. i wasn't thinking straight, and i let it get the better of me."
"so you ran," jenna said flatly, her gaze unwavering. "you ran and left the rest of us to deal with the fallout."
"i did," alan admitted, his shoulders slumping slightly. "and i'm sorry for that. truly. i know saying 'i'm sorry' doesn't fix anything, but it's the truth. i was overwhelmed, and instead of asking for help, i bailed. i made the wrong choice, and i hurt the people i care about most because of it."
there was a heavy silence, the kind that made every second feel like an hour. alan glanced around the room, his eyes landing on derek, who was still watching him with that unreadable expression.
"so what now?" derek asked finally, his voice calm but firm. "you've apologized. what are you going to do to make it right?"
alan hesitated, the weight of the question pressing down on him. "i don't know," he admitted. "but i'm here to figure it out. whatever it takes, i'll do it. i just—i just want to fix this."
jenna sighed, uncrossing her arms. "you can't just fix this overnight, alan. it's going to take time. a lot of time."
"i know," alan said, meeting her gaze. "and i'm ready for that. i'm ready to earn back your trust."
"this isn't just about trust," ezra said, pushing off the wall. "it's about respect. you left us hanging, man. you didn't just hurt us—you disrespected the whole team."
"i know," alan repeated, his voice quieter now. "and i'll do whatever it takes to make it up to you. to all of you."
the room fell silent again, the tension still thick but beginning to shift. derek exchanged a glance with jenna, then with val, who gave a slight nod. finally, derek stepped forward, closing the distance between him and alan.
"you've got a long way to go," derek said, his voice steady but not unkind. "but you're here. that's a start."
alan nodded, his throat tight with emotion. "thank you," he said quietly. "thank you for giving me that chance."
as the group slowly began to relax, the conversations resumed, though the air was still tinged with unease. alan knew this was only the beginning—there was a lot of work to be done, and a lot of relationships to mend. but as ilona stepped up beside him, her hand brushing his, he felt a small spark of hope. he wasn't alone in this, and for now, that was enough.
ilona leans in, pressing a quick, reassuring kiss to alan's cheek before heading off to catch up with the others. her touch is brief but grounding, a silent reminder that she's with him through this. alan stays rooted in place, his feet feeling heavier than he'd like. his heart lingers in the moment, replaying the warmth of her kiss as he wrestles with the weight of the stares still trailing after him. it takes a few beats longer than he's comfortable with before he finally forces himself to move, shoulders squared as he steps forward, ready to face what's ahead.
