Grip My Heart Like My Headboard

Chapter 14

The faint click of a door closing pulls me from the haze of sleep, and I groggily turn my head toward the sound. JJ's side of the bed is empty. I bury my face into the pillow with a muffled groan, stretching out the ache in my back. My muscles protest from last night's intensity, but I can't help the small smirk tugging at my lips. The room feels still, the morning light barely seeping through the curtains, giving me no real sense of what time it is.

I shift to sit up, scanning the room for my phone but come up empty. My eyes drift back to JJ's side, her phone resting on the nightstand. Scooting over, I lean across her neatly tucked blanket and tap the screen to check the time—7:32 a.m. Too early to be awake, but something else catches my attention.

Messages. Several from Will, timestamped well past midnight. They remain unopened. My stomach twists as my mind runs wild with the possibilities. The boys are here, so it can't be something about them. My jaw tightens, annoyance and suspicion bubbling up as I glare at the screen. What reason does he have to message her at that hour?

The rational part of me knows jumping to conclusions will only fuel the fire I've been trying to control, but it's hard to ignore the bitter taste creeping into my mouth. I shove the thought aside and settle back against the pillows, willing myself to trust her while the gnawing unease claws at the edges of my resolve.

Images of last night flood my mind, vivid and relentless, and I can't help but torture myself with doubt. Was she satisfied? Was I enough for her with nothing but a plastic dick between my legs? It's not usually something I let gnaw at me, but with JJ, everything feels different—heightened. She's had one man for over a decade, a history I can't erase, and the thought creeps in uninvited: Did he ever make her cum as hard as I did? My jaw tightens at the comparison, pointless as it is. I roll my eyes at myself, irritated for letting such insecurities take root.

I sling my legs over the side of the bed, the cool air brushing my skin as I sit stiffly, running my hands over my thighs to ground myself. My neck cracks as I roll it side to side, but the release doesn't ease the prickling urge building inside me—the itch to leave. I stayed last night. I stayed in her bed, inside her, vulnerable in ways I'm not used to being. But now it feels like my time is up. The fleeting safety of last night is gone, replaced by a growing restlessness.

I inhale deeply, steeling myself for the inevitable. JJ deserves more than me skulking away, but the instinct to run is stronger than reason. Staying feels too raw, too exposed. I tell myself I did my part. I stayed. Now it's time to go.

Before I can summon the will to leave, the bedroom door opens softly, pulling me from my thoughts. JJ steps in, her presence warm and grounding as she shuts the door with a quiet click.

"Hey, you. I come bearing a gift," she husks, her voice slightly raspy from sleep.

I glance over my shoulder, watching her approach with two mugs in hand. Her long sleeve hangs loose, tucked just barely into a pair of thin gray sweats that hug her hips. The sight of her is enough to make my back straighten instinctively, still hyper-aware of my nakedness beneath her gaze.

JJ stops in front of me, her expression soft and adoring as she hands me a mug before leaning down to kiss me gently on the lips. Her scent is all warmth and comfort, the faintest trace of her shampoo mingling with the aroma of coffee.

"Thank you," I murmur, the gratitude laced with something deeper as I take a tentative sip of the steaming liquid.

JJ shifts closer, standing fully between my legs now, one arm draping lazily around my neck while the other holds her coffee. The intimacy of it all strikes me—a closeness she doesn't just allow but craves. I feel her fingertips lightly brush the back of my neck, grounding me in the moment, her thumb tracing absentminded patterns on my skin. She doesn't speak right away, and neither do I, but the silence feels deliberate, charged with everything we've shared and everything we haven't yet said.