Chapter 76
TRI.
It's been months since my 18th birthday—nagdaan na 'rin ang mga birthday ng mga maligno pati ng mga mahal ko sa buhay, but my 18th birthday is the only thing I couldn't forget. Simula ng magtuntong ako ng dise-otso, i have been carrying this burden of me keeping a secret i wouldn't dare to reveal. It's eating me up slowly—and the weight of the truth keeps getting heavier and heavier each day.
A week after Ponsi threatened me to leaked my video, I tried asking Rico for help. He's the only one who could answer my questions. Siya lang din ang bukod tanging makaka-tulong sa akin kung ikalat man ni Ponsi ang video.
I kept calling him but he wasn't responding. Tinadtad ko 'rin siya ng text messages, telling him it's urgent, but he never replied. As if, he's doing it on purpose. I needed him to explain things to me because hindi ko maalala yung nangyari nung gabing 'yon—umaasa akong alam niya, umaasa akong may wisyo siya 'non.
It's been months since the last time i've heard from him. Ni hindi ko narinig ang boses niya...but it's clear to me that he doesn't want to do anything with me anymore. Just like before...tinapon na niya talaga ako.
Nasa pavillion ako at nag-iisa habang binabasa ang huling palitan namin ng message ni Rico.
Sept 03 at 2:35 pm
missed audio call
You:
Rico pls pick up i need to talk to you
missed audio call
missed audio call
You:
Please.
Please rico sagutin mo
Sept 06 at 3:06 am
You:
Magreply ka naman
I need you
missed audio call
I need you to explain some things i cant say it thru chats kailangan nating mag-usap pls nababaliw na ako rito
pls rico....
Sept 10 at 9:23 pm
You:
Rico online ka
bat di ka nagrereply?
Respond k naman kailangn kita...
Rico:
Pwede ba?
Pagod na pagod na ako sayo
Leave me the fuck alone
*
"Nu yang binabasa mo?"
Agad kong nilayo ang phone ko nang sinubukang sumilip ni Tristan. Napanguso naman ang maligno nang tinago ko na lang ang cellphone ko. I messaged Rico a bunch of times after ng huling message niya pero never niya 'yong sineen. Nag deactive din siya ng facebook at ibang social media apps so hindi ko na alam kung saan pa siya ire-reach out.
I haven't slept and eaten for days matapos ng huling message niyang 'yon. Nasaktan ako ng sobra because all I wanted was for him to help me face this problem but ayaw na niya at wala na akong magawa pa.
"Nagb-back read ka pa. Si niccolo nanaman 'yan 'no?" Tristan asked. I turned down Niccolo and made him stop courting me. Hindi niya 'yon nagustuhan pero ayaw ko na talaga. Hindi 'rin nakatulong yung nangyari sa amin noon and the best thing to do is to walk away from that. Kakainin din ako ng konsensya ko if he found out about the video. "Araw araw naglalasing 'yun, 'di ka na naawa. Simula high school, pinapaasa mo siya. Dakilang paasa ka talaga, eh."
"It's for the best." Bulong ko na narinig niya. Now, i'm starting to sound like Rico.
"So okay lang na makasakit ng tao?" May hugot niyang tanong. Umiling iling din siya. "Ilang taon mo pinaasa, tapos ang ending, papatigilin mo siya? Tang ina, kung sa akin mo ginawa 'yon, magpakamatay na lang ako." Dagdag pa niya habang naglalaro sa phone niya.
"Huwag mong gawing biro ang suicide, kupal ka talaga, e." Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin. Sinubukan ko na lang na mag focus sa binabasa ko but my mind picks up nothing.
"Grabe, very bad girl ka talaga. Kawawang Niccolo, pinaasa, sinaktan, nagpakalulong sa alak. I wouldn't be surprised kung magsimula na 'yong gumamit ng droga—" hindi na niya natapos ang sinabi niya nang bumalik si Ariana sa mesa namin. She seemed very frustrated when I looked at her. I watched her took out one of her earring at nanggagalaiting tinusok 'yon sa gilid ng phone niya. She took out her sim card and threw it on the ground.
Napa-sipol naman si Tristan dahil sa inasta ni Ariana and all I was able to do was look away. "Ugh! I fucking hate him! Ilang beses ko nang pinalitan ang sim card ko but he keeps finding a way to contact and annoy me!" Naiinis niyang sabi. She let out a sigh and tried to focus on her notes.
"Pang ilang sim card mo na 'yan," kumento ni tristan. "Porket rich kid ka tinatapon tapon mo na lang ang sim card? 50 pesos din 'yan."
Sinamaan ni Ariana ng tingin si Tristan. "Don't start with me. I still don't understand paano niya nalalaman ang new number ko! Ugh!"
I stayed silent as the guilt eats me up.
Ponsi would threaten me nonstop. May time pa nga na muntik na talaga niyang i-send 'yon kay Niccolo and I couldn't let that happen. Maybe i'm only protecting the truth for myself...but I wouldn't let anyone know—especially Niccolo dahil alam kong masasaktan ko siya lalo.
*
"Ba't ganyan mukha mo? Parang kang pinagsakluban ng langit at lupa." Tinuro pa ni Val ang mukha ko. She sat down across me, nakipag-meet up siya sa akin after ng morning shift ko sa coffee shop. I was gonna head home to prepare my lab samples for today's laboratory test but I received a text from her.
"Mukha kang kutong-lupa." Bulong ko na ikinatawa naman niya, "Wait, that sounded so mean. Kasalanan 'to ni kulet."
"Kulet? The chubby girl who hangs out with you? Akala ko pinagpalit mo na ako sa kaniya, eh."
I scoffed, "Pagpapalit ko ba ang isang katulad mo? You're the one and only Valentine Eve—walang papalit sa'yo."
Ngumiti naman siya, "Hey, i know hindi na tayo masyadong naghahang-out, but always know that you're still my best friend." She held my hand. "Whatever you're going through, andito lang kami. We're Quadro's for life. For lifers!" She giggled and even crossed her fingers. I smiled at her gesture, i guess, i needed that for so long and she came in a right time.
