timeless // Sebastian Sallow

CHAPTER 56: Three Little Words, One Little Kiss*

"Tell myself it's time now gotta let go
But moving on from him is impossible
When I still see it all in my head
In burning red
Losing him was blue, like I'd never known
Missing him was dark gray, all alone
Forgetting him was like trying to know
Somebody you never met
'Cause loving him was red."

🎧 Red - Taylor Swift

*****

Sunday.

After getting the Yule invitations, the girls took me to Hogsmeade, gushing about all the dresses I had designed for them, promptly presenting to Gladrags to create and tailor.

The skies were blue. Too blue. The air was warm. Too warm. The butterbeer was sweet. Too sweet.

Until I ran into Torvi Gustavsson, my old friend, the painter from Denmark. It only took one object for my denial to shatter: she gave me Sebastian's compass back.

If he loved me so much to the point he gave away the compass when we were still just friends, how could he give up on me?

Something else was bubbling in my chest.

Anger.

Then, came Monday.

Natty was the first to get a proper invitation to the ball: during Potions, to no one's surprise, Garreth made fireworks spark inside the classroom, spelling "NAT" in the air. He got detention, but she said yes. And that was the only good thing about that day. For the brief moment I glanced at Sebastian, he looked defeated. I wanted to hex him.

"It's fine!" I had said to Natty, giving her my undivided attention, even when she pressed about the breakup. "Fuck it if I can't have him!"

I had never cussed in front of her. That, at least, was hilarious.

Tuesday was next.

I walked by the Transfiguration Courtyard an embarrassing amount of times... just in case. If he had changed his mind, he would have wanted to meet me there, and I would have admitted that, if I had done things differently, we would have been able to fix it. We'd still be together.

Round and round the courtyard I went, willing to give up on my reasons. Bargaining with the devil—my pride.

Luckily, Cressida made me snap out of it with lovely news: on the night before, Amit had asked her to the ball with an enchantment that made the stars in the telescope gleam, as if they played her favourite waltz.

And so did other couples. Imelda had asked Nellie at the Owlery with a bouquet of violets, but Nellie had planned the exact same thing and also brought violets in a corsage; Leander had asked Adelaide with a box of chocolates (and maybe she accepted it because Amortentia was involved); even Professor Sharp asked Nurse Blainey and became the talk of the day.

It was finally hitting me.

Wednesday.

"It's not over," Phineas cooed as I accidentally blew my nose on his cloak. "Time, dear. Time."

"I've lost him forever!"

Ominis, on the other side of the couch in the Undercroft, sighed. "This is why I didn't want you to be alone between classes. We should have seen that coming, you trying to talk to him and being ignored."

"Well..." I sobbed. "You didn't... See... That coming..."

The bittersweet giggle between the three of us was very much needed.