Varun was introduced to BDSM at a young age. Well, introduced isn't the right word. Discovered. He discovered BDSM at a young age. And he was drawn to it, like a moth to flames. He identified himself as a dominant. After all, we all have either a dominant or submissive trait in us. At the age of 20, he was confident and charming. He knew what to do and how to guide a submissive to be the best version of herself. Yet he never had a sub.
He devoured the online sites hoping to find someone like minded and sure enough he had a few online interactions and role plays. He knew those had nothing to do with BDSM. It is a lifestyle. It takes dedication, discipline and consistency to build a BDSM relationship.
He was ready. He knew it. He just needed to find the right person. It was by chance he noticed Catherine. She was from the same college, a reputed college in Aluva, Kerala. During the lunch breaks, he used to eat with his friends in the canteen and students from every departments used to gather there. Varun had learnt to blend in with normal people. He knew that in a country such as India, BDSM is considered as a deviancy by general population. He wasn't surprised. The word 'sex' itself was taboo here.
Sometimes he wished he was born elsewhere. Somewhere where he could be himself. Somewhere he could talk about his feelings without feeling the judgemental eyes around him. No one knew his secret. Even his best friends had no clue. He decided its best to keep it that way. They are too immature to understand the dynamics. For Varun, sex was just an aspect of BDSM, as it should be. It involved control, the dominance and submission aspect, the psychological effect of actions and words and he was always interested in these dynamics.
Sure, sexual attraction or the sex itself is a part of it. But it is these dynamics that makes it interesting. Sometimes he wished he could read minds. He wondered what everyone was hiding. What their secrets are. Since he was aware of BDSM from the age of 15, he read a lot about it and formed his theories and ideologies. His approach, as he like to think. The only issue for him was finding a submissive to act out these and perfect it.
It was on one of these lunch breaks that he found catherine. She was engrossed in her phone. He was walking past her and simply glanced at her phone. The world seemed to stop. 'It can't be..' he thought to himself. He wanted to be sure. Without making a noise, he walked past her and approached her from behind. Catherine did not notice him or acknowledged his presence. She was simply mesmerised by what she was seeing on the phone.
Yes. He was right. It was a BDSM clip. She was watching porn right in the middle of a bustling crowd of students. At first he could not believe her audacity. Then a smile formed in his face. His heart started to beat faster. As on cue, she closed the video and turned to leave. For a second their eyes met and she let out a gasp. 'He saw everything!!' was her first thought, followed by the sudden blushing. She just wanted to run away from the place. But her legs freezed and she couldn't move. She just stood rooted on the spot. Varun came closer to her and she lowered her eyes.
"I saw what you did." he told her and she closed her eyes, as if guilt ridden. She wanted to talk but felt a lump on her throat.
"Whats your name?" he asked her.
"Catherine." she replied feebly, with great difficulty.
"That is a sweet name. Which department are you?" He asked again.
"MA. History..." she replied.
Varun was in the second year of B.com and he realised she is older than him, atleast by a couple of years. He did not care. Infact, he liked the fact that she is older than him. There is something about dominating an older women, that turned him on. Varun was well aware of his kinks and fetishes. He liked dominating a submissive. He liked to set them free of the shackles of the traditional roles and mindsets that the society imprints on them from the very young age. He liked to do degradation and humiliation, as long as they too crave to be degraded and humiliated. He liked absolute control. He liked being admired by his subs. Could this turn in to something? He wondered.
"Look at me." He told her. His voice was firm, and she felt her legs shaking. She identified that voice. She felt a connection to it. It didn't belong to someone who was judging her by her actions.
"Look at me." he told her again. There was a calmness in his voice and she felt a tingling in her belly. Did getting caught watching porn by a total stranger turned her on? She could not believe herself.
"Now." he raised his voice a bit louder. He wasn't shouting. He wasn't angry. He was authoritative. His voice was strong. It was the type that made her legs go weak. She slowly looked at him and felt that his gaze pierced right through her, baring her soul. She felt naked, though she was fully clothed. She felt weak, but strangely calm.
"I saw what you were doing, Catherine." Varun told her. He cautiously picked each words, like a surgeon performing a complicated surgery. Somewhere in his heart, he knew he had her on a hook. Years of his BDSM book knowledge had prepared him for this moment. He carefully studied her. Her actions and reactions. Her hands were clenched to her sides and her facial expression was similar to a deer caught under headlights of a fast approaching car.
"I... I was just.." she was lost for words. She silently cursed the moment she decided to open the video. It wasn't her intention. Afterall, she wasn't stupid to watch porn in a fully packed canteen of a college. She used to watch porn, but under the locked door and in the privacy of her bedroom. The video she opened at the canteen was one of the videos she downloaded on previous night. She just wanted a glance. And Varun caught her in the exact moment she played it. It was all fate. Or coincidence. Yet here she is, standing in front of a random stranger of opposite sex, and she was blushing and turned on. He knew it. She wished that the earth would open up and swallow her.
"Now now... you don't have to lie to me. I am not here to judge you. Tell me, what were you doing?" Varun asked in a soothing voice. His voice sounded sweet and she was surprised by the gentleness in his voice. This guy knows what he is doing, she thought to herself.
"I was watching a BDSM video." she replied. It felt strange to her. This was her first time, talking about it to a person. Unlike Varun, she wasn't experienced. Infact, it been just a few months since she discovered BDSM. Something about it attracted her to it. She was always a studious student and everyone held her in high regard. She was the teacher's pet and the class leader. Yet, there was a secret she never told anyone. She craved domination. She was submissive in heart. She wanted to be dominated and she wanted to submit to someone who values her. She had always wondered how it would feel like. To let go. To give up control. And she was too scared to act out on these fantasies.
"Yes. You were. Is this the time or place to do so?" he asked her, gentle but firm.
"No..I...i was just glancing through it." she tried to defend herself.
He stepped closer. She backed away.
"Did you enjoy what you saw?" he asked her.
She did not respond. Infact, she did not knew what to respond. She just stood there, blinking.
"Now, when i ask something. I expect to receive an answer. Is that clear?" he asked again.
"Yes sir." she replied and instantly bit her tongue.
'sir? why would i call him sir?' she asked to herself in her mind.
A smile formed on Varun's face. This is going good.
"so answer my question." he tried to ease her.
"I did." she replied, her cheeks turning bright red.
He noticed she was shaking a bit, as if shivering.
