"And nothing hurts anymore, I feel kinda free
We're still the kids we used to be" - 'Ghost Town' as written by Kanye West
I guess even in this state of peace I'm finding
Not all of me is taking it easy, reclining
Bones might be warm
Still getting older
Soul might not be lonely
Still getting colder
I find myself folded
Over and over
Again and again
Perhaps I should've broken by now
Perhaps the tension is keeping me alive
A desire for outrage
Purest I'll ever spit
I've sat here shuddering
Passively aggressively
Folding myself
Over again
Atomic bomb ready to go off
Ready to annihilate
And take great pleasure in it
But the force it takes to stay this calm
Is also killing me
The heart doesn't beat quite right
Lungs tight
This body still screams out for ghosts at night
Sunflowers wilting
Chlorine doesn't quite cut it
Vivid dreams of a love I won't name
None of anything really means to much
Nihilist at my door
Dark corner, cold floor
And on those nights
I find that I
Could drink a bottle of tequila dry
Reset the mind
Wipe the hard drive
Wake up another weekday
Clean slate
New sky
Alive
So far it's been rough
Tempted to test my luck again
In a game of russian roulette
Will it be another blank
Or walk away
Empty head
Seeking harder with only the best to get
And I'd by lying if
I didn't say I'm a distant one
Lost in smoke and songs
Craving that
Departure lounge mentality
Outward bound
Refugee of the skies
Until I'm comfortable
Come back to reality
I once said
"Oh love you could be everywhere"
Thousands of miles
Of that open sky
Held in this cage
Dreaming of somewhere, anywhere
Where I can freely fly
And that I suppose
Is the beauty I hold onto
The faces in the black
The songs in the wind
Pain I've conquered
And all that holds me here
Is pain I've yet to
And I search for
And find this beauty
Everywhere, everyday
Rooms, corridors
In the oceans, in the air
And If I must, I would die for it
And should anyone ask of me
Tell them of me, of someone somewhere
A seeker of peace, in anything anywhere
Wherever they look, they'll find the memory of;
St. Elsewhere
YOU ARE READING
Live Outside
PoetryOver the years, I've written many pieces of writing, and shared barely a fraction of them here. Recently, I find myself back here again, and in dire need of somewhere to write, and somewhere to share it. This is to be a collection of poems coverin...
