Chapter 19

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by mherondale06

by mherondale06

Hailey

The knocking pulled me out of sleep.

At first, I thought it was Victor. But if it was him, he wouldn't have knocked. He would've just let himself in like he always did.

I got out of bed and padded toward the door, my body still heavy with sleep. When I opened it, the sight of him made my breath catch.

Victor stood there, leaning against the doorframe, his dark hair a mess, his eyes unfocused. He reeked of whiskey.

"Victor?" I whispered, confused.

His gaze lifted to mine, and for once, there was no amusement, no smugness—just something raw, something unguarded.

"I wanted you to love me," he murmured, his voice thick with alcohol, with exhaustion. "Despite everything. Despite me."

My heart clenched painfully in my chest.

"Victor—"

"I know who I am," he cut me off. "I know the things I've done. The things I'll always do. And I know you hate me for it. But I wanted—just once—I wanted you to love me anyway."

His words made my stomach twist, a strange mix of heartbreak and inevitability settling inside me.

Because the truth was—I did. I always had. Even when I shouldn't have.

Even when it was impossible.

I reached for him before I could stop myself, my fingers brushing against his jaw. His breath hitched at the touch, like he hadn't expected it.

"I do love you," I whispered, knowing he wouldn't remember this in the morning. "I always have."

Victor stilled.

And then he kissed me.

It wasn't careful or hesitant. It wasn't soft. It was desperate, rough, filled with years of anger and longing and pain. He pushed me inside, slamming the door behind him, his hands gripping my waist, my face, my hair, like he was trying to memorize the shape of me.

It felt like that first night all over again.

Like we were those two people who hadn't yet been ruined by the world. By each other.

We fell into bed, lost in something neither of us could stop.

And for one night, I let myself forget.

Forget what he had done. Forget what he would do.

Forget that when morning came, he wouldn't remember any of this.